Audiobook: Medical humor

Profile photo for Steve Pridgeon
0:00
Audiobooks
76
0

Description

Humorous reading with dialogue.

Vocal Characteristics

Language

English

Voice Age

Middle Aged (35-54)

Accents

British (General)

Transcript

Note: Transcripts are generated using speech recognition software and may contain errors.
with it being January, I knew my surgeries would be filled with two types of bloke, each of them claiming they had decided to get healthy in the new year, Mr. Parks fell into the first, more common category. Those who have reluctantly decided that a diet of quality street lager on Christmas Bud consumed while watching a loop of the Great Escape is not the way forward. Or, as in his case, I have had this decided for them by their partner. He brought Mrs Parks with him in the sense that a mouse brings a cat. It was clear his New Year's resolution had bean thrust on him by his glowering wife, and he wore it forlornly like an unwanted, festive Wooley. I'm a bit overweight, he mumbled. A probably need more exercise, and I should pack up the fags. Tell him about your drinking prompted his other half, who had attended partly to hold his hand, but mainly to make sure he didn't fluff. His lines are doing too much, he said, like a teenager court with a porn mag on DH. He can't set a voice from offstage. He turned crimson. Andi, I can't Aah! Get it off. That's right, Doctor confirms Mrs Parks. Andi has smelly feet. It's always tempting in these cases to suggest that the woman exchange her man for a sleeker, more vibrant, less pungent model. But I went through the motions and established that, yes, he was overweight under fit and lead an unhealthy lifestyle. I gave him advice, unsurprisingly, about losing weight, dragging his ample *** down the gym on, generally sorting himself out. Quite possibly he wasn't listening, but Mrs Park certainly wass. Thanks, doctor, she said as they left her husband, and I simply exchange glances. He'd done his duty, but we both knew that our next significant encounter might well be when I sign his cremation forms. Mr. Perk ER fell into the second category of January. Visitor. I've come for a cheque up, he announced. Further enquiry revealed that he jogs 20 miles a week, eats the recommended quota of fruit and veg, is a non smoker with perfect body mass. Index subscribes to Men's Health magazine on DH, charts his own cholesterol and blood pressure stats on an Excel spreadsheet. The truth Wass He was only attending for positive reinforcement, like a class swat eager for the teacher to mark his homework. Category two is far rarer than Category one, which is no bad thing because, while absurdly healthy perk assort make me feel sick.