Gangsta Bits - African American Voice

Job #4234

Job Posting Details

Job # 4234 Gangsta Bits - African American Voice

Posted Date
Jul 18, 2007 @ 19:35
Respond By
Jul 20, 2007
Word Count
509
Budget
$500
Language
English (North American)
Gender
Male
Age Range
-
Category
Cartoons

Job Description

GANGSTA BITS TM

AFRICAN-AMERICAN MEN ONLY PLEASE.

HIP HOP, STREET TYPES, COMEDIANS, STAND UPS.


CHARACTER DESCRIPTIONS:

ENUS - The self proclaimed leader of the three. He has a been-there done-that attitude and brags about his past as a gangsta. Even though he never was one. He was born without legs but claims they were shot off by a rival gang. His friends built him a sweet ride out of a chopped shopping cart. This becomes a great getaway car when needed. Enus maneuvers the cart pretty well but still has to say, “turn me around” quite a bit. He likes to crack wise and tell tall tales, when he’s not boasting about how tough he is and how he can kick anybody’s ass. Enus is constantly trying to invent things and come up with get-rich schemes. He also fancies himself as sort of a street poet and claims to be responsible for many catch phrases, like “that’s tight”, “you ain’t never lied” and even “gettin’ jiggy with it.” He suffers from the Napoleon complex the worst and always has “big hair” to make up for his small size.

T-BAG - He may have a club foot and a bladder so small that he has to carry a colostomy bag, but T-Bag is one cool cat. So he thinks. He uses his club foot to smash cans and trip everybody, including himself. One thing is for sure, though - he’s a lover not a fighter. He thinks he’s a hard-core player. He is the king of cat-calling but has a way of making every thing sound gross. “Man, she’s got a nice turd-cutter on her.” T-Bag not only has a club foot, but a club head. He is the dumbest of the three. But is pretty convincing to most that he isn’t. He always has stupid suggestions to the simplest problems, and gets chastised constantly by Enus for it. He also loves food and day dreams about different soul dishes, which drives the others crazy since they can’t afford it. He claims to know a lot of famous people but everyone knows he’s full of it.

NICKEL - He was born with a lazy eye that wanders every which way but the right way. But it allows him to keep an eye on more that one thing. And that’s good because Nickel is paranoid. He’s similar the the character “Smokey” (Chris Tucker-FRIDAY) He has a nervous twitch and a constant belief that someone or some thing is out to get him. He’s always on the look out for a drive-by and every time he hears a loud noise he runs for cover. Enus and T-Bag just laugh at him and try to make him more paranoid. Nickel is one of those guys who thinks he could have been great at everything. “I could have been a great baseball player,” or “I could have been better than Tiger Woods.” Unfortunately, the only thing he is known for are his atrocious smelling farts. He also believes he has a gift for rapping but is absolutely horrible at it. “Come on baby let’s rock, I got the fire down deep in my sock.” Every time he raps he drives people away. His one skill is that he can get you almost anything you need because he has connections. But it sometimes gets him into trouble.

SAMPLE SCRIPT:

EXT. alley, compton los angeles - dAY
Early morning. We ZOOM IN on a large dumpster. SNORING comes from within.
DissOLVE TO:
INT. DUMPSTER - DAY
The place is laid out like a nice apartment. Enus, Nickel and T-Bag are slumped around on mattresses asleep. Suddenly, there is a squeak of metal, then a converse high top thuds into the middle of the room. An eerie light glows around it. Nickel wakes up.


Nickel
What the hell?

Enus
Shut up, man, and go to sleep!

NICKEL
I was, who threw this shoe at me?

T-BAG
Quit yappin' and go to sleep!

NICKEL
Oh, so this converse high top, come flyin' outta nowhere?

T-bag
Hell, that's old school... Nice color too.

ENUS
Well get it outta here. Shit smells like old Chinese food.

NICKEL
No way, I want it!

T-BAG
The hell you say! I'm the one who's got a club foot. I could use a new shoe.

NICKEL
Yeah, well, I saw it first, so it's mine.

T-BAG
Don't be a fool, fool! Gimme that!

He grabs the shoe and Nickel lunges for it. They tug on it back and forth. It flies out of there hands and lands across the room. It glows and sparks, then suddenly, a GENIE swirls out of it. It is Wilt Chamberlin. He is startled, looks around, then smells the air.
Wilt
How in the hell did I get in this stinky ass dumpster??
(looks at the midgets)
Who the hell are you?


NICKEL
(Amazed) You're Wilt the Stilt Chamberlin!

ENUS
How come you're a Genie?

WILT
You think I get to pick what to be after I'm dead? I'm a superstar, I should be rollin up in a solid gold benz!


T-BAG
You ain't never lied, man... You ain't never lied.

WILT
So what do you want?


ENUS
Aren't you supposed to grant us three wishes?

WILT
Hm (Thinking), well, seein' as you're midgets, I'll give you one and a half wishes.


Enus
Man, that's bullshit! Don't give us that short people got know reason to live crap!

WILT
(Insulted) Hey, fool! I scored a hundred points in one game!


ENUS
(Not impressed) Man, Kobe scored eighty-one! It's just a matter of time before he over takes your ass!

NICKEL
Yeah and people be like...Wilt who?

WILT
(Mad) Alright, that's it. You're down to one wish.


Nickel
You can't do that?

WILT
I stooped over a thousand women. I can do what ever I want. And you keep talkin' that shit you'll be down to zero!


Enus
Damn. Time out, group huddle.

The three gather to come up with a plan.

T-BAG
(whisper) I say we jump his dumb ass and get them three wishes. How come everybody else gets three wishes?

ENUS
Please, he's like twenty feet tall and probably knows some kind of Genie Kung-Fu.

Wilt is around the corner going through their fridge, making a sandwich.
Wilt
Man, you aint got shit to eat!

Still in a huddle


Enus
I've got plan! Check this out.


TO BE CONTINUED...

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