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Damn the Torpedoes! - A comedy sketch show from BFBS Radio

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A selection of my voices for Damn the Torpedoes, starting with me as John Motson.

Vocal Characteristics



Voice Age

Young Adult (18-35)


Note: Transcripts are generated using speech recognition software and may contain errors.
Welcome back to Match of Doomsday. What a gripping encounter. The battle of Hastings was don't we go over live now to the losing anglo Saxon manager Roy? Son of haj. Hello marty so Roy. What did you make of that defeat? Well, I'd want to see the action replay first but they haven't finished sewing it yet. The torpedoes. Here's the tinsel for the tree darling. And just this year, can you please forget the sas staff attacks? Can come at any time like that crowd today shouting religious slogans. They were carol singers. They could have been suicide carol singers. I know it's february and it's not quite the same. But I thought we could do christmas when you're back next week. I've even saved your presents to open. Wait, did I put air holes in that box? Uh Gotta go Mayday. Mayday. Hit by enemy fire. About to eject. Is your rescue team on standby roger that tempest 89 A unit eight miles away has responded. Are they on their way? No, they just liked your mayday. What? What about the americans? Wait, good news. They're on their way even better. Taylor Swift's retweeted your mayday. Now then these negotiations are getting a bit late so I've made you both some hot chocolate. There you go. Mr President, No, wait to wait. Mrs T lady person. What is this mug? Uh This is Leyton orient football team mug. It is chipped. Let me get you another one. When is my I am the boss mug I brought from home. It was humorous birthday gift from my wife providing official confirmation that I am the boss in my house and I'm so sorry but the Prime Minister? No, no, you do this deliberately. You deliberately take mug so people will think you are the boss. Another example of your imperialist expansionism. All that is left is keep calm and carry on bag and that makes me so angry.