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Podcast Episode - A Robot Reads You Your Rights (English)

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Voice Over • Podcasting


I made this completely on my own with my home recording setup and royalty free sound effects. I also developed the robotic filter myself using Audacity post-recording.

Vocal Characteristics



Voice Age

Middle Aged (35-54)


North American


Note: Transcripts are generated using speech recognition software and may contain errors.
you really thought you could get away with it, didn't you don't look so surprised. You had to know. We would catch you sooner or later. I recognize that. Look, you're still coming around from being stunned by our combat majors during your arrest. Let me catch you up to speed. I suppose I should begin by making you aware of your rights. Mhm. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you. I would ask if you have any interest in speaking to me. But that option is not available to you at the moment. Yeah. The handcuffs connecting you to the table are enchanted with silence and prevent you from speaking. You have already proven yourself to be a dangerous arken ist and we cannot risk you attempting to cast anything though if you ask me and I know you did not. It is a bit of overkill. Do you see these walls? They may look like plain metal panels, but I assure you they are inscribed with some very powerful runes. No magic can be cast in here and most pre existing magic falters within this space. If it is powerful enough, even I cannot stay in these interrogation rooms for long. But you will be in here for a while. This room doubles as a holding cell as well as your permanent cell. If convicted it takes a lot of time. Energy and resources to make a magic proof room like this. So we do not have many here. No. All that being said. I am only here to appraise you of your situation and make you aware of the charges against you. Once I have finished, our agency questioners will come in and get the information they need. I advise you to cooperate with them. Resisting telepathic probing can have nasty side effects. We arrested someone who was dealing an artificial magical enhancer who did their best to keep interrogators from finding anything. Not only did they find everything they needed, but the dealer also forgot how to read and write in the process. A nasty bit of work. Which is why we encourage cooperation as it stands. You have been arrested on charges of possession, unlawful manufacture and manufacture with intent to sell arcane resources. You are also being charged with distribution, teaching and demonstration of illegal arcane practices with malicious intent. As per recently enacted statutes. Yeah, do not try and argue. Your computer and its history have already been combed through by our text after we received the proper warrants from the court. You were unconscious for quite a while. Unfortunately, our combat mages are very good at what they do, but they can be a bit overzealous. This is part of why they are only authorized to use stunning spells. Anything stronger requires paperwork and express permission from the agent in charge before use. So you may be a bit sore but as a medic, I can confirm that you are perfectly fine. Aside from your current predicament that is, you are not injured or damaged in any way, not even a bruise or scratch, but I am not going to lie to you. You are not in a good situation based on the charges against you. If found guilty, you are looking at collectively 28 years in prison at a minimum. And because of the nature of your offenses, it will be at an agency prison, not a state prison. There are not many public facilities capable of handling arsonists at a felony level. The state attempted to have us house are inmates in their facilities but quickly realized that it was not a viable option after escapes riots, mesmerize ations, property damage and so on. While it is a very useful tool, magic can also be problematic, which is why again, we have rooms like these, We put our most skilled mages in here to test their durability on a regular basis. Agents who can conjure storms of Meteors in the blink of an eye can't manage so much as a candle flame in here. Asians who can freeze lake solid can't even chill a beverage. They also have to be discharged between uses to prevent magical build up. The last person in the cell was a real piece of work. He was here much longer than you're going to be. His lawbreaking was far more severe. Mind control is a nasty school of magic. And unfortunately there have been websites cropping up in the last few months with spells on influencing and dominating other people that has to be dealt with swiftly and severely. And he had an entire crowd of people hanging on his every word. He is part of the reason that we implement the silencing cuffs. Now, he had integrated an item into his own body and was generating magical energy at a rate that the nullifying glyphs could not match. He wasn't able to escape or do any damage. But it was enough that we added a few more fail saves. Unfortunately, that is why there are not windows in here. We cannot afford to have any gaps in the magical field. I am aware It is unpleasant, but it is also unavoidable. However, there are ways to mitigate your experience with the agency. If you cooperate with us and assist as requested, we can make sure that your incarceration is Kennedy. This is not a threat. I am going to be very clear on that. You are free to refuse and you will be treated identically to any other prisoner we have in our facility. Anyone that chooses to behave and comply may be granted additional privileges not offered to our other inmates. We cannot reduce your incarceration of course, but you may consider it temp work. Several of our agents began as inmates. We do not discriminate against criminal records. In fact, if the records are magical in nature, we see it as pre existing training. You look surprised. I'm not sure why there are so few people in this world capable of higher level magic. There's no sense in restricting the talent pool. There are contracts and agreements beforehand of course. And he would be held to the same high standards as all of the other agents. But it is an excellent career path. Full benefits pension 401K. Not to mention paid time off and job security. It is dangerous. We make no effort of hiding that. This is not the police. We are not beat cops around here. We are highly trained government agents skilled for the express purpose of removing magical threats to the community and to the world. Unfortunately, due to your actions, you registered as one of these threats which is why you ended up here in one of our holding cells. I'll give you some time to think about it. This isn't an offer, mind you just mentioning a potential opportunity for your future but it definitely won't be made available to you. If you don't cooperate with our investigation. In the meantime, food and drink will be brought to you after the questioners visit in the morning. You will be brought before a judge for your initial appearance and arraignment and the potential of bail. If you are granted and able to post bail, you will be released under supervision until your formal court date, with the understanding that if you violate any conditions of your bail, you will be immediately brought back here and not released until you are found not guilty at trial or have served the duration of your sentence. Have a good evening inmate. I will see you in the morning.