Bojack

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Description

So this is my version of the free churro monologue from Bojack Horseman, it's one of my favorites and I'd like to think I do it justice

Vocal Characteristics

Language

English

Voice Age

Middle Aged (35-54)

Accents

North American (General)

Transcript

Note: Transcripts are generated using speech recognition software and may contain errors.
So I stopped as a check in the box. On the way here, the girl behind the counter said Hi. Are you having an awesome day? Not. How are you doing today? No. Are you having an awesome day? Which is pretty sure ****** because it puts the onus on me to disagree with her. Like if I'm not having an awesome day, suddenly I'm the negative one. Usually when people ask how I'm doing, the real answer is I'm doing ******. But I can't say I'm doing ****** because I don't have a good reason to be doing ******. So if I say I'm doing ******, then they say, Why? What's wrong? And I have to be like, you know, all of it. So instead, when people ask how I'm doing, I usually say I am doing so great. But when this girl at the Jack in the box asked me if I was having an awesome day, I thought, Well, today I'm actually allowed to feel ****** today. I have a good reason. So I said to her, Well, my mom died and she immediately burst into tears. So now I have to comfort her, which is annoying and meanwhile, there's a line of people forming behind me who are all giving me these really judgy looks because I made the Jack in the box girl cry and she's bawling and she's saying, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm like it's fine, It's fine. I mean, it's not fine, but, you know, it's fine. And I'd like to order a double jack meal and I kind of got somewhere to be. So maybe less with crying and more of the frying, huh? And the girl apologizes again, and she offers me a free churro with my meal. And as I'm leaving, I think I just got a free Charo because my mom died. Whatever tells you, when your mom dies, you get a free Charo.