Hitchhikers Guide Excerpt
Description
Vocal Characteristics
Language
EnglishVoice Age
Middle Aged (35-54)Accents
British (General) British (Received Pronunciation - RP, BBC)Transcript
Note: Transcripts are generated using speech recognition software and may contain errors.
far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the Western spiral arm of the galaxy lies a small, un regarded yellow sun. Orbiting this at a distance of roughly 92 million miles, is an utterly insignificant little blue green planet who's ape descended Lifeforms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea. This planet has, or rather had a problem, which was this. Most of the people on it were unhappy for pretty much most of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movements of small green pieces of paper. A witch is odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that we're unhappy. And so the problem remained. Lots of people were mean of most of them were miserable, even the ones with digital watches. Many were increasingly of the opinion that they'd all made a big mistake in coming down from the trees in the first place. And some said that even the trees have been a bad move on that no one should ever have left the oceans and then one Thursday, nearly 2000 years after one man had been nailed to a tree for saying how great it would be to be nice to people for a change. One girl sitting on her own in a small caf, Ian Ricks Mons Worth suddenly realised what it wass that had been going wrong all this time, and she finally knew how the world could be made a good and happy place. This time it was right. It would work on DH. No one would have to get nailed to anything. Sadly, however, before she could get to a phone to tell anyone about it, a terribly stupid catastrophe occurred and the idea was lost forever. This is not her Storey, but it is the storey of that terrible stupid catastrophe and some of its consequences. It is also the storey of a book, a book called The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Not an Earth book never published on Earth and until the terrible catastrophe occurred, never seen or heard off by any Earth man. Nevertheless, ah, wholly remarkable book. In fact, it was probably the most remarkable book ever to come out of the great publishing houses of Ursa Minor, of which no Earth man had ever heard, either. Not only is it a wholly remarkable book, it is also a highly successful one, more popular than the celestial homecare omnibus. Better selling than 50 more things to do in zero gravity and more controversial than Gulen Kalu Foods trilogy off philosophical blockbusters where God went wrong, some more of God's greatest mistakes. And who is this God person, anyway? And many of the more relaxed civilisations on the outer eastern rim of the galaxy. The Hitchhiker's Guide has already supplanted the great Encyclopaedia Galactica as the standard repository off all knowledge and wisdom, for though it has many omissions and contains much that is apocryphal, or at least wildly inaccurate, it scores over the older, more pedestrian work in two important respects. First, it is slightly cheaper, and secondly, it has the words don't panic inscribed in large, friendly letters on its cover. But the storey of this terrible, stupid Thursday, the storey of its extraordinary consequences on the storey of how these consequences are inextricably intertwined with this remarkable book begins very simply. It begins with a house