Comedic Monologue - Young Adult - Long Island Accent

Profile photo for Patrick McLaughlin
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Video Narration
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Vocal Characteristics

Language

English

Voice Age

Young Adult (18-35)

Accents

North American (General) North American (US New York, New Jersey, Bronx, Brooklyn)

Transcript

Note: Transcripts are generated using speech recognition software and may contain errors.
thank you all for coming. As you know, Bob passed away on Thursday night after choking on a fiber one bar and then experiencing a subsequent heart attack. The police found her half naked in the parking lot, covered and picks blood with. I will Survive by Gloria Gaynor playing on a phone, always an optimist, that Bob now, as her husband and son are busy getting the taxes in order, they have asked me to organize this funeral. Thank you for joining us here at Olive Garden. This was her favorite establishment. As she always said, When you hear your family, I I've always felt a kinship to Bob, seeing as we're both Italian goddesses. Granted, I am a natural goddess, but goddesses nonetheless, if you will join me in a prayer. Heavenly Father, we mind today the passing of one of the humblest disciples, Bob. However, we do not doubt that your swift hand of grace brought her back to her righteous home in heaven. We ask that you keep her away from David Bowie, and Prince says they have standing restraining orders against you from their previous and most blessed time on Earth. Her spirit will forever live on in the hearts of a family and friends and to the astounding 803 men she gave gonorrhea and your name, we pray I'm in.