Podcasting Sample - Hello Sunshine #SocialSabotage
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Hello Sunshine's, my name is Jonah and I'm keith and this is Hello Sunshine. Today's topic is drum roll please Social media which has been alluded to a few times on this show I believe. I feel like every episode there's always a moment where we're like we're going to social media, we're going to talk about this later actually. So we're going to hold off on that topic and here we are, we've made it to the other side. We are here to discuss social media and how it affects our mental health. So as always before we dive into things, just a little reminder that neither Janna or I are professional mental health experts, nope we are just very mentally ill and like to talk about it. Okay maybe not keith, I'm pretty mentally ill, keith's not too bad. He only has a few things to worry about me on the other hand, you know I mean I still have my things but to each their own with their mental health journeys anyhoo so as usual with that I mean we're not experts, take everything with a grain of salt but we're just trying to encourage positive conversation towards the subject of mental health. Exactly. So with that being said social media, what is it about it that Hold so much power in 2021? Just in general, I mean it's addicting, I was surprised seeing my report the other day of how many hours I spent on apps and yeah I hate when my phone does that. It just makes me feel bad. Not not as bad as it used to be by far. It used to be a lot worse on my end but facebook or something because I'm old I guess that was old. Not that old, depends on who you talk to. I mean that took up so much of my time. Yeah I know it's weird because back in the day I feel like I still use just as much maybe even more than back in the day, so kind of maybe the opposite. But yeah social media has been around for a long time and it's a big part of culture today and has been for probably the last 20 years as its grown in size and amount and I've been using it for almost 10 of those 20 years, I was. It was 2012 when I started a Facebook account I think. Well see I was on the other side where I was like I need I need all the social media accounts like I need I need a corded keyboard and a flip phone with like a touch screen shout out to the LG Voyager cellphone. I wanted to be on facebook, I wanted to be on this, this website, that website um I was obsessed with it because socially, hence social media uh you know the kids at school everyone had a facebook, everyone was cool, had a facebook or a cell phone or um had a kick account or like everybody had something online had a had a virtual footprint if you will. So I remember I actually didn't get a facebook I think until fifth or sixth grade, so that would have made me 11 or 12 and that probably would have been back before middle school, so maybe like 22,009, 21 before me that this was, yeah, I was 16 years old. When and back then you had to be like at least I think 13 to have one And I lied about my age for the longest time. So Facebook would say the wrong year, like I would say I was born in 96, but I was born in 97 and it wasn't until years later that you could change it. Um but yeah, I was I was living a lie for so long because I wanted to fit in and I wanted to see what everyone was up to because everyone talked about facebook facebook facebook, but I also think what comes with social media also comes the responsibility of what you post online and how you're perceived online and sometimes that can be a positive thing and sometimes it can be a very negative thing because you're trying to uphold a positive image of yourself, assuming generally people want to share a positive image of themselves, right? Like so fast forward to 2 23 year old Janna, I use my social media accounts typically to showcase the positive things going on in my life and so maybe from an outsider perspective, someone might be looking at my profiles and be like, wow, like, you know, she seems really happy, like her ships together and I think naturally because it's a bit of a taboo thing to do to be, you know, completely uh you know, transparent online and be like, yo like life really sucks right now because people don't want to hear about that, people want to see the positive parts of your life and so it creates this false image and this false idea um which I think can be very dangerous because as much as we want to celebrate the positive moments, we also need to remember that there are negative moments in life that shape us to be the people who we are, how about you? How do you feel about that? I mean, I just want to add that all of that is true. However, in the world of social media, who cares about everything that's negative, you only got to show what's good about what's going right, which is what could really become toxic. Exactly, because no one wants to hear you like complaining, they want to hear about the concert you went to or that new restaurant you checked out or like how great your boyfriend is and trust me, I've seen people who use social media to complain and I don't want to see that, right? So there is a little bit of truth to that, but it's also social media doesn't show the whole real image, right? They only get like a snapshot of your life and I feel like that can be so just so it's such a tricky slippery slope because God forbid somebody that, you know in your life, something terrible happens to them or they do something to themselves or what have you and your only reference to how their life is is how they portray themselves online and you're like, well that doesn't make any sense. Like tammy's so happy. Like tammy has a great life, What do you mean? She, she's depressed or she has these issues like, I don't, I don't get that, that doesn't make sense. That's not the, the image she she puts out into the universe. That's weird and a big thing of that is people who may be depressed and of course this isn't everyone, but people who may be depressed might try to look for validation through social media. Getting those likes, getting those follows right. Exactly. Getting the attention that maybe they're not getting in in other arenas of their life. That's where they're getting their little dopamine surge. Yes. Yeah, pretty much. It's like, it's that instant gratification of um, you know, you, you post a picture of yourself and you're like, oh, I look good, but like, I don't know. And then a bunch of people like it and you're like, I'm a supermodel. I never felt that way. See what I used social media for a lot was posting like dumb sh it, like that's the difference between boys and girls and how they post you see I don't have, I, I'm not even crapping on myself, but I don't have that sort of physique to really show off to be, I'm pretty, so I'm just going to share funny stuff, that's how I am going to get attention through these means, if something, if something stupid happened during the day, I'm gonna share that a lot of the time, mental health and having mental health issues um or just like having crappy moments in your life equates to weakness, so you know, who wants to air their dirty laundry on a platform that reaches lots and lots of people um whether that's you know, just family and friends, whoever you're friends with or if you have a more public account, like on twitter or an unsecured instagram, what have you, but something that I've noticed because there is this one side, I'll give instagram as a example, you have instagram, you have your instagram and then you have your fence to have, you heard of this before? I've heard of it? Yes, I don't have one, neither do I, but I am well aware of what it is, right? So back in the day when I was in high school and keith was like, you know, riding chariots in ancient Rome um I really don't know how to interpret that. Um back in the day tumblr was a really really big place where people would put all kinds of things, it was like an online blog and a diary for people so they would write you know the negative parts of life, the positive parts of life, you know I felt like the most authentic people were was on tumblr then you have instagram and instagram is more for the likes and it's more for the positive parts of life and then you have your fence to and your fence to is pretty much your fake instagram and when I was introduced to it I had no idea what it was until I got to college and a friend of mine um it's like they took a version of their instagram handle and they turned it into something like anti that so like my one friend, it was like her name with like a bunch of letters and then like the fence to was like something with a curse word in it, like something you know profane um and she only had like three followers on that account or four followers, like very select number of people compared to instagram that had like tons of followers and that was like this online diary where she could post the things that she felt like she couldn't normally say on you know a facebook post or her regular instagram and I feel like that's becoming more and more popular and I think I know why but I want to hear your opinion first. If anything, I think that for instance are becoming more popular is people have, might just have trouble sustaining the quote unquote real version of themselves in their more populated instagram feed and of course they don't want to share the negative version of themselves or the quote unquote fake, which is actually the authentic version of themselves through the higher traffic source. So to a select group of people, they are willing to air out some things too. That's what they have this source for, right? And there's a part of me that definitely agrees with what you're saying. I think what it comes down to is sometimes people, I know I've personally felt this way, but sometimes like when you're really upset and you don't really have someone to talk to or maybe the people you normally talk to in your support circle just aren't available. Um, and you know, you just need to like get it out almost like a diary. Like you instead of journaling like you put a post on your fence to and because you have a limited number of followers, you get the attention that you want in that moment of like I'll give you an example. Well I have, I have two friends who have two very different vince to. So I have one friend who would post about how great her boyfriend was and like how you know, they were celebrating this anniversary, that anniversary and then she would go on her fence to that her boyfriend did not follow and she would like pitch and complain about him. And then you had my other friend who her fence to was more just like about the dumb stuff that she would do in life. Um, so her rinse to her real instagram. Um, it would just be, you know, like the flowery positive happy posts and then you'd go on her fence to and it wasn't necessarily to like crap on anybody or be mean or, or you know, super depressing. It was more just like I picked my nose today and I ate my booger. Like that is just like the, you know, the, like it would be funny. So I'm not saying that all fenced a czar like negative, not all of them are not, I'm aware of some of that were positive there. Like silly. They're like, OK, normally I wouldn't get away with, you know, posting this on my own or even like inappropriate that you wouldn't share in public is not necessarily bad, but you don't want that associated with your image, whether it be like something sexual or drug use or your drink. Yeah. Like I mean, and that's the thing too about social media, it's very powerful, which it can, it can ruin a person. It is a digital log of everything you do from morning to night and what people don't realize is that there's some stuff that like just, it does not go away, it does not disappear and it can really affect you professionally. You know, I'm a teacher and I was told from day one once I started student teaching like you know, do not let the kids ask for your social media's change your name, change your security um because you will cross a line that can be very dangerous, even if you don't even mean it and sometimes, you know the kids, they find you and that's whatever, but you need, that definitely happens. Not like keith has any idea of what I'm talking about, it's not like you have like half of an entire grade trying to follow me on instagram right and pester you. Yeah. And like there's also this obsession to, of like, you know, you want to find adults because you want to know more about their personal lives because if we're associating that with mental health, that's something that really my anxiety Well yeah, because you're worried about is what I'm doing appropriate. Am I crossing a line? Um you know, did I post something that maybe was a little off color and it's going to come back and I'm gonna lose my job. Like there's so many things you have to worry about, especially social media, like I remember I did this observation thing in college where I got to sit in this classroom for a few weeks like once a week and the teacher goes, I googled you like not even like a good morning. It was like, the first thing was I googled you and me and my partner Lauren and he was like, yeah, no, I looked at your names. I mean you should expect that because if I can google your type, your name in on youtube and something comes up, I hope it's a positive thing. And I mean, luckily the only stuff that comes up for me is like performance videos that I've pretty much posted myself, but that's kind of how you have to live life. You have to realize that social media is like, it's like a black hole of detritus of like everything and it all gets traced back to you. So if you're being frivolous with how you're posting and and not taking into account the consequences of that, you know, you could be in big trouble and it can also mess with your head trying to go full circle. I mean, yeah, if you're being protective of your image, that totally explains why people find a use for something like a fence to right? That's another way to, to protect yourself because you have a limited number of followers. So you know exactly who's seeing what you're posting and you can kind of, it's like I said earlier, it's, it's an online diary and sometimes like, it's nice to get something off your chest and like, send it into the universe, but I feel like you have to be so careful because if you, you know, talk about other people or maybe say something that's like really not okay or illegal, you know, you gotta, you gotta, I understand you got to take ownership of that. Yeah, let's focus on our social media usage now because we're talking about people in general. But how have your social media habits been over the years or in addition, how has social media affected you mentally or emotionally? Well, like I said my social media kind of journey, I was always a huge like computer kid, like I loved playing computer games and and then as soon as online games were a thing and then like Webkinz and club penguin and then like all these games where it's it's not just you playing, it's like there's this, you know, people playing online with you, it was very exciting and I was very much into that and I know that's not necessarily social media, but as an introduction. Um the reason why I mention it is because when we were kids, you know, we because of how prevalent and how present just online things were. Um we were constantly getting, you know police officers to come in and talk about, you know cyberbullying and to talk about, you know talking with strangers on the internet and being careful and um so there was a part of me that always wanted to be very careful and cautious, but then there was another part of me that was like, I just want to do what everyone else is doing. And there have been times where I've made some pretty dumb mistakes on the internet, nothing like, you know, heinous or anything like that. Really simple stuff. The one thing that comes to mind is I made a band with my two best friends in fifth grade and I was like, we have to have a gig because that's what bands do. And I made a website that no one knew about and um except me and these two band members and maybe some of our friends and I put the address of my house on there too, be like, oh we're having like a, like this event in my house, here's my address. And I later discovered it was this like girl that I knew but anonymously someone commented on it and was like, whoa, this is like the dumbest thing anybody could ever do. Why would you put your address out there? Like someone could show up to your house. And it scared me to the point where like I remember bursting into my mom's room like mom, what have I done? We're gonna die. Um you know, we deleted it. No one saw it, but in my head I was like, oh my God, someone's gonna show up to the house. So from that moment on I was always very weary and careful about like the very personal information I shared and also when you post things that opens you up to being criticized or commented on as much as you get like the likes and the loves and this and that. You're also inviting everything else. Yeah, you're inviting criticism and critique and some people handled that with grace and majesty and other people not so much like during Covid another example, uh I volunteered To buy groceries for people who couldn't leave their house and my dad and my mom sometimes would would come along with me to go buy groceries for people and my dad loves to take pictures and loves to post on Facebook because he's you know 69 years old and that's just like his personality. He just loves to do that. He loves to be like going on a walk eating dinner like that because he thinks everyone wants to know about that. And um. Sorry dad. But it's true, it's true you know he loves he loves to share his life online um and he has friends who eat that stuff up. So he took a picture of me in a moment where um I had pulled my mask down to fix my glasses or something um while we're in the store and he posts that and then all of these people because he tagged me in the photo were like that's not how you wear a mask. Um you know that's really stupid, how could you do that? Do you know how serious this is and I just I told him I was like antagonist and please delete the picture because I didn't know he was going to post it, I didn't even know he took it. That's a perfect example of people can just come up with an opinion and post about it and then everyone else can see it and that's embarrassing. It didn't make me feel that good that day. I can't think of anything on my end where something was posted of me that I felt really uncomfortable about um Also people can tag you and stuff. Yeah that's what I'm trying to think, I don't think anyone's really tags me in anything that made me like be like whoa uh that's not cool. I have another example. Oh you could you could share that. Well since we're just this is just my therapy session today um Well then I'll just take the vaccine keith come back. No. Um Well again I think this has a lot to do with like boys versus girls not to exclude uh those who have yet to make up their minds um movies out there but I just feel like with guys, you know things are not as personal like you know they're not posting about their deepest darkest feelings because because guys barely do that in real life and then you have women who are very emotional creatures who like to share and and and want to have a positive image. So the nature, I think of what we post can be very different and depending on what is posted you're open to to that specific kind of criticism. So for example, when I was in high school, a friend of mine who was just, I guess really excited that me and this group of people came over her house to go swimming, she decided to take a bunch of pictures of us while we were in our bathing suits and then posted those shots online. And mind you, I was wearing, you know, not a scantily clad bikini, but I was wearing a two piece, my my full stomach was showing in my back and you know, I was thinking, oh God, like you, no one not even thinking of necessarily about like the body image issues that I that I had with that, but just the fact that I'm half naked online on a platform that, you know, I'm friends with, like uncles and cousins and aunts and grandmothers and um and is this something that I want to come back to me later? I'm not saying that all bathing suit shots aren't, you know, Okay, but at the time I was very like, that's an that's an image of yourself that you didn't want to be presented to other people, right? And I also felt bad saying like, hey, can you take that down. So I ended up just a tagging myself, but the picture still exists. The picture is still there. It just isn't associated with my account anymore, which, you know, even if they did take it down. You know, God forbid somebody screenshot it and saved it on their computer because people do that too. And you have no idea if someone like will take your images or take your messages and then like edit them and put them out of context. And I mean, I wouldn't blame people for having ptsd from that, just like dealing with people being creepy and and and doing things like that. Now, the friend who posted the picture wasn't trying to be creepy, but it was an uncomfortable conversation I had to have of like, I'm really glad you had fun at the party, but like, I don't really want like my 15 year old cleavage out on the internet, please not from my mom and my dad to to see like, please. Um and I mean in that situation it was out of my control, it was another person, but um I'm very much like, I'm very in control of what I put out there. Do I have emotional slip ups. Yes. You know where I'm like, I'm going to put this really vague post on facebook and it's going to be about someone and anyone who truly knows me will know who I'm talking about, but otherwise it's vague. I might, I might have done that once or twice. There's the slip ups for the most part. Yeah, I haven't had those experiences where someone posted something that I'm uncomfortable with because it's mostly been in my control and that's when it gets out of control, that it's when it gets out of the control that um, you realize how easy it is for people to access your information and to take your pictures and um, which can be very anxiety producing. That's where like the internet safety lectures you've got in, you know, fourth grade, they start to make sense because you never think it's going to happen to you, but it can very much can and mess with your head. If anything, If I'm looking at my social media experience, it's been my own problem with how I felt using it in terms of just early on, we said we've stressed so much how people are trying to share positive images of themselves that causes anxiety and depression for people. And I could definitely say that for myself because it's so easy to compare yourself two other people on these platforms. If they're presenting these, oh, look at this vacation, I'm I went on, oh, look at my physique right now. Yeah, it goes along with my philosophy of life, which is you really, truly do not know what's going on in someone's life or in their head, so, you know, don't judge a book by its cover, but it's so easy, but it's easy to do. It's so easy to do that if it's something you're not taking into consideration. And most of the time I've Had social media the past nine years. Yeah, it was easy for me. My I mean I mostly got caught up in what everyone else was doing, whether it's like being left out or like, oh I really got to amp this up. How am I going to get that little uh surge of dopamine? Like I remember um a milestone of social media was you could change your relationship status on facebook and you were mentioning this the relationship episode, right? I was because there's there's something about, you know, you feel like you hold this power, like look at me and my relationship and I'm in love and I'm happy and pu u and and all this, but It's when the relationship ends and now you have like 16,000 pictures that you're tagged on Facebook and now you have to, this isn't relevant to Facebook now because you can do it pretty privately. But back when Facebook was still kind of new, um I remember like if you ended a relationship and you changed your status, it would literally make a separate post on your timeline of like, Jonah is no longer in a relationship or Jonah went from in a relationship to single or it's complicated and then everybody else before you can even delete it, people are liking it and being like, we love you, like, you don't need no man, like and it's like airing out my dirty laundry unintentionally now there's a lot of different things on not only facebook, but a bunch of different platforms on how to kind of like passively behind the scenes, deal with it. Like there's like privacy settings where, you know, your relationship status is only visible to you or to specific people. So if you were to undo that you can a bit more privately, that's another thing too. I'm very weary about posting certain things like relationships because I don't like having to do the cleanup after because that that messes with my head. I know that that makes me really sad, is having to like undo all of this stuff and delete it and then have people notice it and then make a comment about it and then, oh, like I saw, you know, you're no longer tagging all those photos with chad, like did something happen and then you have to be like, we broke up and it's like you make your business other people's business and then people don't always know the line of like, when not to cross overall in general, it has been the comparisons for the most part, it was only until about around the time after I finished undergrad when I realized for a few different reasons, I stepped away from social media, but overall, it was like, yeah, I really don't need this, I am clearing out my head. It's easier to focus on myself rather than playing the comparison game, seeing what everyone else is doing in life. I can just focus on myself and it's nice. Sure, I've gone back on social media platforms, I've deleted them again. I've gone back on just whether it's boredom or telling myself, hey, you need to chill a little bit, but at least I have a little bit of that perspective and now I feel like I it's not even just comparison. I don't feel like the need to show off anything and respond to that subconsciously or totally consciously for some people that's their self esteem right there. That is their self worth. That was a lot of it for me for a period of time, not like all of my problems, but I mean it's so easy to get that validation and approval right in a digital space. Oh yeah, I mean, I think number one I know for me, I loved the attention, like the positive attention obviously like depression, what I mean I have and this was especially at a time where I didn't even acknowledge or realize I had anxiety and depression. I didn't know what I was feeling. I just need like, okay, I'm feeling bad, it'd be great to have some approval. That's all it was to me that dopamine release of like it was just as simple as that. I didn't, I didn't understand the underlying feelings as to why I felt so inclined to do it. I mean, I know for me like the thing was everyone got like a super fancy camera, like a DSLR and like took like pretty much selfies but not with their phones instead. You know, they were using these like fancy shmancy cameras and taking these high quality photos of themselves and it was like a competition almost like an unspoken competition of um, who had a nicer profile picture and normally your post would get like 12 likes and then like, you know, something is really good when you get like hundreds of likes and it would boost my mood. It would boost my self esteem and I just be like, oh my God, I must be pretty because everyone else thinks I'm pretty like, but that's so negative because that's not good for you. I mean, yes, it's nice to have people like and, and leave encouraging things, but you shouldn't need that kind. You should find that validation elsewhere. It's very, um self serving and I just think unhealthy overall over the past few years, I've tried to go more of a healthier out and how I use social media, like whether it's even instagram or something instagram facebook, I use social media for updates that are relevant to my life, not looking for up the life updates of my friends or the people I follow you use it for what it's supposed to be, I use it for what it's supposed to be for and actually like gaining new friends and some groups I'm involved in because that's genuinely happens in the years I've tried to like, okay, I'm going to use social media for what it's for to connect myself with people. It's nice actually making friends on a platform like that. Yeah. On the other side. Um, I have a friend who met her husband on tumblr and obviously I said husband, so they got married, this person lived in Australia and this other, you know, this friend of mine lived where I live in America and they bonded, they met over tumbler posts and years later they were married and living in Australia. And that's, that's one thing too, is that as much as the internet can be a negative place for some people, it's a refuge. It is a place where you can find like minded people that maybe you don't have in your real life. And I think for some people that's very helpful for their mental health, I've had so many discussions on this kind of thing in grad school the past year, right? Because you're, you're actually, if you're in, say you live in a very conservative town and you're *** as **** and like there's no one to talk to and you could go on like tumble or you could go on Reddit, you could go on facebook even like, you know, you can go on all these different social media platforms and meet people and talk to people that normally you don't have around you and that can be very helpful for some people, but I feel like you have to be so careful because your entire social life should not be dependent on your profile. It all, it really does all depend on how you use these platforms and services. Like if you're only friends are from online, we gotta, we gotta work on that. You have to be self aware, what it comes down to is you got to be self aware and balance, yeah, balance, understand what you're doing, why you're there, if it feels at all unhealthy, maybe it won't seem that way initially, but I'm just like shooting things in the air. I don't know entirely what I'm saying Janet, but I think you get the no idea and I hope the audience does as well. No, I do like one of my best friends is a big gamer and um she streams on twitch and shout out to the O. G Bojangles. Um she's amazing and she has a great Youtube channel but like before she got kind of big on twitch and youtube um you know, she'd play Xbox live and before she, you know, like recorded herself playing um she met a lot of friends through playing video games and luckily, you know, she had a good balance of online friends and then she had her friends at school and eventually what was really cool, She got to meet up with those online friends or she would meet them at conventions. Um, and then it turned into like networking opportunities for her line of work, which is, it was just video editing and, and gaming and things and um, so in, in some regards, obviously social media is great because it is one giant networking platform from person to person. Um, but it's like the deep, dark parts of the internet that you still have to be wary of. So I'm not saying that social media is all that bad, but you do have to kind of go into, there's linkedin that social media that's used for professional purposes. Yes. It's all a matter of how you use it, what the services for and keep your, you know what you're posting, keep your eyes open and you know, don't blindly be posting things and also don't believe everything that you see. No, there's usually more to it. Right? So be a detective and go and do some investigating before you emotionally invest into something that you see because it might not be what you think it is Jenna, we're here talking about how social media can be positive. But how could social media be positive in the world of mental health specifically. This is something that you brought up right before we recorded, this wasn't even anything discussed. But I would like the direction this conversation, what a sec away, what he is referring to is Tiktok. Tiktok is a huge gap right now that lots of people are using. It's replaced the hole in my heart that vine has left behind. And what's really cool about it is that I'm seeing more and more health professionals using it as a way to um, you know, get their message out there and especially like psychiatrists and therapists and also bringing awareness to different things. Um, not even Tiktok, but I see you when I am on facebook, share mental health related posts through that. I do. Um I always like to present myself as somebody who I am very comfortable talking about mental health issues maybe a couple of years ago I wasn't, but I'm just at this point in my life where I'm an open book and I would rather have a conversation about it than pretend like it's not there because that doesn't help anybody. And what I like about Tiktok is as much as there are like funny, silly, gross vulgar videos. There are also mixed in these other videos of people that I can relate to either talking about their experiences with mental health issues or dealing with other people, like understanding the signs of abuse, understanding the signs of manipulation. Understanding when you're not in a healthy situation and what you can do to get yourself out of it or things you can do to take better care of yourself. And I love that because it's almost like Everyone's writing these like love letters to each other of like, you're not alone and I'm not going to present myself in this like false way, like I'm going to be 100% genuine. And yeah, there are still people on there that are doing the same thing they do on instagram and facebook, like my life is amazing. And then there's the other people that I just like shout outs to them because I think it's amazing that these like therapists and these doctors and gynecologists and proctologists, like all different kinds of doctors, like being like, hey, screen yourself for breast cancer, Screen yourself for testicular cancer. Talk to somebody if you need help, DM me if you need help, you're not alone. So what keith is referring to is when we first started talking about creating this podcast together ever since then, I have had a like notes app open on my phone of just a continuous list of Tiktok's that I've found in the last couple of months that I felt were related either directly or indirectly to mental health. And you finally showed me the list earlier today, we didn't even get through half the tick talks. We didn't even get through a quarter of the Tiktok. So there's a lot and I kind of got a little embarrassed because I was like, this list is way too long. But then again, I've been, I've been putting, you know, videos on there for months now because we didn't really get started until May. And we've been talking about it for a month or two before that. So I've been just saving them and it's a mixture of all kinds of things. Some of them maybe not even that directly related to mental health, but I just felt like it spoke to me in a way. Um, one example was a girl was singing a song about feeling like being with her in a relationship was like being at a crappy job and how she understands that this person left the job or quit, quote unquote the job or left the relationship because they needed more. They needed better. And that spoke to me because I'm sure a lot of people feel that way, but didn't have the words to describe. And so having these like comparisons um, is really nice. And also just seeing examples of things that maybe I didn't even know were like abusive or like not good. Like a big thing on Tiktok is people love to discuss power dynamics between people. It gives. There's like examples like people sharing either their own personal stories are like little skits of Yeah, that skit you showed me stuck out to me which one I was thinking about the one the guy played the two roles. Yeah. The emotional manipulation, right? And some people don't even realize they're being emotionally manipulated until they see this video. And they're like, oh my God, that's that's me that's happened to me before, oh my God, am I being emotionally manipulated? And it like brings awareness that stuck out to me when I was watching that video. I mean I stopped focusing on it for a good few moments because my mind went back to a moment from a few years ago when someone was talking to me like that, right? And just to give context in the video, um some of this one guy who plays himself, it's two different characters, it's just one guy, but person A goes, hey, can you find that that thing for me? And so person B goes, yeah, of course, and goes to look for it, and they go, I'm sorry, I I can't seem to find what you're looking for, and person A reacts angrily and goes, you know what, you're just so stupid, you're such an idiot, like why can't you do anything and then slams the door and then, you know, there's a caption a couple hours later, and uh Person A comes out of their room and is all of a sudden in a way better mood and is like, hey, you know, hey what's up, what's going on? What are you up to? Person B obviously still very upset for being yelled at and being called an idiot and personally just doesn't get it. They're like, wow, you're really, this is a really big, you're making this out to be something, it isn't like you're like this is ridiculous. Like you're being so sensitive right now. And it wasn't until I watched a video like this, I was like Holy Ship, I've had people talk to me like this before and I didn't even realize it was emotional manipulation until this person gave a perfect example of it. And that's kind of what I like about Tiktok as as much as it's kind of like blown up the last, you know, Couple of years memes dance crazes, right? 40 songs. There are still mixed into those videos. These ones of examples of things that I think are important for people to be aware of in their life. Um because otherwise you're not really gonna hear about it or see it, it's not going to be as obvious or it's not going to be as digestible or understandable. So here's this platform where things are made to be digestible because the creators want all kinds of people to see it and to understand it and to hopefully save it and keep it and refer back to it if they're ever in that position again. And again, I'm only like touching the surface, but I also appreciate the authenticity of some of the posts that people will put like as videos, like people will record themselves in the middle of panic attacks and show people like what they do to calm down. I would have killed someone in cold blood if they recorded you having a panic attack. No, I would I would kill just to know to have a video like that. Oh no. I mean I wouldn't be happy if someone like film me in a moment of vulnerability. That's where I thought you were going. No, no, no, no. Um but you know when I was in the middle of having panic attacks, I felt so alone and I had no idea if anybody else felt as horrible in those moments as I did and I didn't always know what to do really. Like my therapist was the one who who and and the doctors that I that I went to go see had, you know, tangible bits of advice, but here's the people promoting grounding, which is a great exercise to do where you distract your body and your brain from the panic going on. Um, so you'll count how many tiles on the ceiling or you spell your name and it's like you are shutting down the um the negative thoughts to try to calm yourself down, bring you back in the moment because that's what anxiety is. It's like a roller coaster you can't get off of and only you are in the driver's seat. Um, Other other things I've seen, I mean speaking of things that are tangible, other things you've seen that you showed me, I really got a kick out of the one video you showed me of the girl in the therapist's office sharing the different toys in there. Right? Yeah. So like I know that was entertaining and educational exactly. Like for me when I go to therapy, like my therapist always has a bunch of like stones and kinetic sand and just like things to like, you know, rub in your hands because sometimes when you're talking, does she have any llamas that take craps? Like what was shown in this Tiktok, he's talking about a rubber toy that like shoots a ball out of its. But it's really funny. But like there are lots of therapists who have like just like little, um, you know, manipulative in their office for clients. And I saw that video and it just cracked me up one because of, you know, the llama exploding ball out of its butt. But also I was like, oh my God, that's, that's exactly what it happens in my therapist's office. That's so relatable. That's so nice to see that someone is talking about this thing that no one else ever talks about. Like that's I think down to its core, that's what I love so much about these specific kinds of videos is that they speak to me in ways that I've never seen before that I've never experienced and wished I had seen when my mental health was really bad. And listen, that's what we're trying to do, at least in the slightest in this podcast itself. Exactly like opening the door to the conversation and just as a side note, I have every intention of putting on our social media is a link to this set of videos that I've collected and probably will keep collecting as time goes on. Um because I think that these creators and their messages need to be shared with everyone and if there's any creators that interest you, we'd like to hear about them as well. Absolutely, I am 100% down. That is what I do at night, laying in bed at two in the morning. I am flipping through Tiktok. Please send your recommendations. I am into it. So keith, what have we learned today? What have you learned about social media? I don't know if I really learned anything today. No, I mean, but it's it's something that I've really wanted. I was really looking forward to this episode because social media is relevant to everyone and I know that it was very much ingrained in how I responded to my mental issues I said before it was just you know, as I keep saying that dopamine surge, it was very easy to go onto social media and ignore it. And social media while useful for some things, not so much for others. So one last time, be self aware of why you're using the outlet. Exactly. And also to make sure you got you got a chip on your shoulder, stay vigilant, stay aware that not everything is as it may seem and be a part of the solution. Don't be part of the problem. So what I mean by that is be yourself, share what you are comfortable with sharing but also understand that people may look like they have their whole lives together and they might not actually have their lives together and really do you need everyone to know what you're doing? No, no, no, nobody cares. Do you think they do? But they don't While we're telling you, you really don't use social media for those reasons. Use social media to follow Hello Sunshine. The internet sucks. But not for us, not for us because hey, where else are you going to get that endless those endless lists of different media that we're sharing. Exactly. Come on. You've got to go on social media to see that or resources that we ourselves have personally used and can recommend like what Jenna. Well, now that you mention it, we like to provide different resources for as many people as possible. And those resources are psychology today which is therapist dot psychology today dot com. What's great about this website is that you can look up therapists in your area that are covered by your insurance which helps a lot when you are on your mental health journey and have nowhere to start. Then there's also a suicide prevention lifeline dot org and crisis text line. If you're uncomfortable calling the suicide hotline, you can use this text line. Text the word reason to 741741. It's free, confidential and 24 7. Do not struggle alone and don't let the internet get you down. No, please don't. We're here to lift you up though. Exactly. So stick with us. I'm glad. I mean, I'm glad. I hope you got something out of this episode. And if you listen to this far, I'm glad you did. Thank you for doing that. Thank you for listening. We got our ship together. Anyhoo things may not always be easy, but don't forget to stay on the bright side. Adios. Bye.