English
Description
Vocal Characteristics
Language
EnglishAccents
North American (General)Transcript
Note: Transcripts are generated using speech recognition software and may contain errors.
poets and mystics always seem to have their transcendental awakening somewhere divine on a mountaintop while staring off into open sea by a babbling brook next to a burning bush. Mine happened in a log cabin in the middle of the woods where I found myself sobbing uncontrollably into a bowl of oatmeal. I was in upstate new york with my partner lolly on what was supposed to be a vacation, a retreat from the stress of city life in philadelphia. I ate my breakfast. I poured through the pages of another psychologist book, my version of a beach. Read the topic, emotionally unavailable mothers as I read it for professional enrichment or so I thought the words activated an unexpected and confusing emotional response. You're burnt out. My partner lolly offered. You need to take a step back, try to relax. I brushed her off. I didn't believe that I was in any way unique in my general feelings and experiences. I heard similar complaints from so many of my clients and friends who doesn't get out of bed in the morning, dreading the day ahead. Who doesn't feel distracted at work? Who doesn't feel distanced from the people, they love who in this world can honestly say that they aren't living each day for their vacation. Isn't this just what happens when you get older? I had recently celebrated my 30th birthday and thought to myself, is this it? Even though I had already checked off so many of my boxes that I dreamed of since I was a child living in a city of my choosing, running my own private therapy practice. finding a loving partner, I still felt like there was something essential in my being that was lost or missing. I've never been there in the first place. After years of being in a relationship, yet feeling emotionally alone, I had finally met a person who felt right because she was so different from me. Whereas I was hesitant and often disengaged. Lolly was passionate and headstrong. She often challenged me in ways that I felt were exciting. I should have been happy or at the very least, content. Instead, I felt outside myself detached, emotionless, I felt nothing.