English, Novice, This is me narrating an excerpt from a book.
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EnglishVoice Age
Young Adult (18-35)Accents
North American (General)Transcript
Note: Transcripts are generated using speech recognition software and may contain errors.
he's scared, she's scared. Understanding the hidden fears that sabotage your relationships by authors, Stephen Carter and Julia. Socal excerpt from Chapter two, commitment fears and commitment fantasies. A commitment phobic response. Just the idea of agreeing to be with another human being for the rest of my life makes my heart pound. Sometimes when I'm with my girlfriend, I feel as though somebody is about to cut off my air supply and that my survival depends on my getting away scott. Obviously scott is not in any real danger from his longtime girlfriend, but he has anxieties and fears that he doesn't understand. He is unable to be realistic about his relationships. He is unable to take things one day at a time and he is unable to make reasonable and carefully thought out decisions about his personal life. He hates living alone, but whenever he gets close to being fully committed, he focuses on quote unquote forever. This triggers physical and emotional reactions that seem uncontrollable. We call this response commitment phobia commitment phobia is a claustrophobic response to intimate relationships. The dictionary defines claustrophobia as a fear of enclosed or narrow spaces to a commitment phobic. That's what a relationship symbolizes an enclosed space which he or she may get stuck. Commitment phobia comes with all the classic phobic symptoms, headaches, gastrointestinal disturbances, nausea, nervousness, excessive sweating, chills, intense anxiety palpitations, hyperventilation, labored breathing, suffocating sensations in a general sense of dread as most of us know. These are all fight or flight response is the body's way of mobilizing itself against a threat and it is how people with severe and active commitment conflicts respond when they feel they are involved in a romantic situation that bears the trappings of permanence. The brain sends a signal to the body. I'm terrified and the body sends a message back. Danger, get out. Now you do not have to be in any real physical danger for the body to mobilize its defenses. If you perceive something as a threat, then the body reacts as though there is indeed a very real threat. Give me liberty or give me death. It cries 54 40 or fight not another nickel to the king. Whether you know it or not, your body has gone to war. Why war? What's so scary that such drastic action is called for and who is the foe? For someone with a genuine commitment phobic response. The foe is the relationship itself, It's the loss of freedom. That's frightening. If on some very visceral level, you equate commitment with the loss of freedom, then commitment may be anxiety provoking or even truly terrifying. Your body gets prepared to help you escape. You will respond to that relationship the same way you would respond if you are a claustrophobic, trapped in an elevator, an airplane, a crowd or even a closet