Alzheimers. Poetry reading. Narration. Radio. English.
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I'm in this home. They put me here. Don't know the date. I don't know the year I sit, I think I reminisce if the days gone by total joy and bliss. But confusion sets in and I start to panic. Medication wears off. It makes me erratic. Where am I? I don't know this place. Someone is speaking. I see their face, the one that speaks, I may recognize something familiar, something about those eyes. I think he's not all there. I think he may be mad. Why does he hold my hand? Why does he call me dad? They will not leave, they will not go. So I sit in silence. Signs of life. I won't show still. They hold my hand and speak to me. They just won't let go. Who can they be? My mind is addled. I'm all confused. My mind feels broken and it feels bruised and I wish my wife was still around. She'd ease my pain. She was so profound. I listen as they all mill about, I hear them whisper and I want to shout, what do they want? Why don't they leave? I think they're liars. I disbelieve. I remember times of long ago, but not recent times. My mind has slowed endless summers and times of joy when I was small. Just a little boy. I remember. Well, my wedding day, a happy memory that's here to stay. But it all goes fuzzy. All goes gray. I can't remember. Even yesterday. They think me mad and they think me senile. They are the ones that are in denial. This mental illness is no joke. I used to be normal. Now I'm just smoke. The onset came. It took hold it in my mind and has left me cold deep inside. They try to fight. I push at it with all my might. Some days are good and some quite bad. But either way when my end comes, I won't be sad. My brain has gone now left to this place. I have passed on the next world. I shall embrace my mind is back. All suspicion, gone, my bitterness to them. It was so wrong. I don't blame them now for what they've done. I know them. Now my daughter and son, they love me. Now, I see that clear. They cared for me. Year after year, time passed on and I got worse. They needed help and I needed a nurse, but I'm no longer there. I have a blessed relief. I'm gone. Just don't want to cause their grief. But leave. I must, I'm no longer a burden. They'll live happy lives of that. I'm certain make no mistake. The illness I've suffered changed their lives. I would not have recovered. Decline was slow symptoms. Hard to see, but it just got worse. And Ed Me, I'm in a better place. My head now clear. I love you all and I hold you dear. My mind is focused. I have full perception. I shower you in love down from heaven.