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Urban Guy Audiobook Sample - Monologue of Evolution - Comedy

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Voice Over • Audiobooks
25

Description

Urban dude is talking to his friends about his theory on evolution. Comedic Monologue.

Vocal Characteristics

Language

English (North American)

Voice Age

Young Adult (18-35)

Accents

US African American, US General American (GenAm)

Transcript

Note: Transcripts are generated using speech recognition software and may contain errors.
I guess it started when I realized there were some major problems with evolution. I know you don't believe in evolution, but just shut up and let me finish. I just couldn't figure out why some monkeys would evolve into humans and others would just stay monkeys. You follow me. I just don't think monkeys would look around and say, Hey, that guy used to be a monkey. And now he's making weapons out of brass. I suppose I should evolved to. Nah, I'll just sit here and eat bananas. I mean, once humans started evolving, we all evolved. You don't have a bunch of cavemen still walking around today. You see, something happened to a couple of those monkeys, and I know what it was. Aliens. You see, I figure there was this race of super aliens traveling around the universe, you know, just looking around. Well, they landed on Earth, and I'm not sure if it was some kind of experiment or whether they were just real lonely after all the miles on a spaceship. But either way, they impregnated the monkeys. You see, that explains why all the monkeys didn't evolve. They didn't fool around with the aliens. Okay. You see, a couple of 1000 years ago, the aliens came back. Yeah, but no monkeys at this time. This time they impregnated just one person. Mary. You know what it says about that angel appearing in her room and telling her not to be afraid and getting her all pregnant and everything that was an alien. Jesus was human, too, but he got a double dose of those super alien genes. And that's why he was so wise and everything. He was way beyond us and mental things physical to all those miracles. He was just using his alien powers.