Elves On Strike Radio Play
Description
Vocal Characteristics
Language
EnglishVoice Age
Young Adult (18-35)Transcript
Note: Transcripts are generated using speech recognition software and may contain errors.
The student staff of 90.7 W P S R is pleased to perform a holiday radio play to celebrate the Christmas season. We hope you enjoy our production of Elves On Strike, a radio play by Kaden Lindsey, Ian Lewis, branding Doninger and Caroline Wilson. This play was written by a couple of our very own student staff members here at 90.7 W P S R and now we are pleased to present Elves on Strike Christmas. It's the best holiday here in the US according to the Harris poll. It's a time for presents, hot cocoa and very interesting conversations with your weird uncle for many this time of year brings joy and happiness. But for Holly Jolly Sparkle and Bart, this time of year is a reminder of the long 25 days ahead with Jolly Holly Sparkle and the Elf formerly known as Bart leading the charge. More elves got on board with the idea of forming a *****. The more elves that got on board, the higher the tensions got until they finally boiled over. That is it. That is it, I've had it that cookie loving plug Saint Nick is gonna have to cancel Christmas because I'm not working like this. Oh, come on. It's not that bad here. It's a privilege to work at the North Pole. We've wanted this job since we were little elves. First of all, we're still pretty little. And second of all, a privilege, a privilege. Last time I checked, I had my mandatory 3.7 liters of hot chocolate a day. And you know why? Because the hot cocoa machine is broken and someone I don't wanna name names, but he probably has a white beard. Someone, someone hasn't fixed it. I have had to resort to drinking water. Jolly. What are you screaming about now? Well, Holly here thinks that the North Pole is heaven or something. It certainly is amazing expectantly around this time of year. Have you people lost your gum drugs? This is a terrible work environment. Hey Bart, get out here for the love of Chris Kringle. I forgot Bart pulled a prince and turned himself into a symbol. So his legal name now is the symbol of a candy cane. Would the elf formerly known as Bart? Please grace us with his presence. How's it going? Jolly? Never read this already. What the Elf formally known as Bart? Please explain to Holly and Sparkle here why this is a terrible work environment. You agree with me, right? Yeah. Well, my fingers are literally candy cane. I got my fingers stuck in the machine and I mean silver my Bells. Jolly. But they're just, it's awful. I can't drink hot cocoa the same anymore. Well, at least your fingers are candy canes. Yeah. We're acting like that's a good thing. I don't think it's too bad. Me either. It's a gift and a curse because they're not sweet. They're still salty because I don't like to wash my hands. Yeah, that's unsanitary. Well, yeah. Ok. We, we've heard enough about your candy cane fingers. Ok. You're telling me neither one of you too hasn't had a single workplace. Mishap. Sparkle. You've had to have at least one incident here. Well, now that you mention it, there was that one time that Rudolph bucked me in the windpipe. Oh, Tinsel, are you? Ok. Yeah, I, I remember that you were going for months. I, I don't have, I don't have the angelic blanks that I once had, but I suppose it all worked out. I, I don't, I, I would be really mad if I, I wouldn't take that if, yeah, I wouldn't take that if I were you spark. I would be mad. Carry a tune, I suppose. I mean, speaking of carrying a tune, I know we don't all want relive that horrible day. But remember what happened to Elvis? No. Yeah. I mean, are we, we're just blind? That ele didn't get eaten by the abdominal snowman? Oh, he Christmas without, I'll be so blue just thinking you. Oh, I don't touch Bob Blue. Oh. Oh, don't be cruel. Elvis. I miss him more and more every day. His perfect hair was scattered all over the nose and he could wrap presents just right. Yeah. But whose fault was that? Whose fault that? Well, it wasn't a blue Christmas. It wasn't a white Christmas that day was a very red Christmas. I mean, very red. The workshop was red, I mean, very, very red. But there's, there's only one man to blame for that. That's what I'm talking about. Y'all formerly known as now you could say it was the snowman's fault but we know who we know who the real issue is. Santa knew those fences were faulty, right? And he did nothing to fix it. There was that hole in the left wing. Oh, help this. Hey, hey, I, I I think we do something about this. I'm with you, Bart. I'm sorry. The el formally known as Bart. Yeah. But, but what do we do? We unionize. That's the only way we can take down Santa. If we form a *****, we need better pay more syrup, the hot cocoa machines to get fixed the fence to get fixed my fingers back to normal. You know, we'll show, we'll show him with Jolly Holly Sparkle and the elf formerly known as Bart leading the charge. More elves got on board with the idea of forming a *****, the more elves that got on board, the higher tensions got until they finally boiled over I have gathered you in the grand hall for a very important matter four score. And seven years ago, our ancestors brought forth on this icy plateau. A new workshop conceived in secrecy and Christmas magic and dedicated to the proposition that all Children are naughty or nice in pursuit of this. It was established that between ourselves and the big man himself said that we would do everything in our power to ensure a wonderful Christmas for us. A year out within this partnership. It was agreed upon that in our efforts to make Christmas wonderful that we would be treated fairly and justly no matter what. For the last seven decades, we have been deprived of our set agreements. We've been eaten, injured and thirsty and not paid nearly enough. Ok? But for the first time in our existence, we have decided to unionize. It's a battle for better pay, health care benefits and two weeks paid vacation because I have a dream that one day elves like the Elf, formerly known as Bart and the Elf sparkle will get compensated for their worst workplace accidents. I have a dream that there are working hot Coco stations on every corner of this workshop. I have a dream that Elvis God rest his soul. Would it have been eaten? But if that tragic event had to occur, we would have given him a proper burial site in a land of grace somewhere southwest of Knoxville. With this unionization. I tell the fat man one thing and one thing only give me workers' comp or give me death to his office. They got to marching and marching. They did tonight. They would confront Jolly ST Nick. Oh, hey, hey guys, listen here, Chris Kringle. We demand raises health care and paid vacation. Yeah, Saint Nick. We demand more cuddles and, and hugs. Yes, Santa, we demand spaghetti for breakfast with syrup every day. And Santa if that's even your real name, we demand the cancellation of Christmas if our demands are not met. Mm Let me enlighten you little dudes. Christmas roughly translates to giving unity and super for the hugs man. The true meaning of Christmas is all that matters. Christmas is integral to life as we know it. Christmas represents a smile, a sticky stick covered in snow and a cozy campfire with the aroma of hot cocoa filling the air. It's the time of year where people throw their issues off the back of the sled and ride towards happiness and good fortune. Christmas must survive must endure and must live forever man. But it takes everyone, man, especially you elves a giving is everything. Christmas is everything. So we uh we getting paid. Why didn't you say so? Of course, dudes with the elves, new paycheck and benefits, they were able to finally live the life they always wanted and Christmas was saved. Some elves weren't financially responsible and some bought Elf Bugattis, some invested into Elf Cryptocurrency and others gambled away their money on Elf hockey games. As for Jolly, Holly Sparkle and the Elf, formerly known as Bart Jolly went on to help other Elf activist groups. Holly invested her money in a positive way. She retired and completed her lifelong goal of opening a ski resort for Elves. Sparkle kept working for Santa and worked his way up the ranks eventually becoming head. He was inducted into the Christmas Hall of Fame in 2056 for all he gave to Christmas, but he finally got his fingers fixed and became the present rapper of the year 60 years in a row. And he would have won it 61 years in a row if he hadn't followed that magical raccoon into the forest and was never heard from again. And as for Santa, he's still going strong, giving out gifts and Christmas cheer each and every year.