The very fun Witch's Patter, \"Greens\", from Stephen Sondheim's \"Into The Woods\", book by James Lapine.
English (North American)
Middle Aged (35-54)
Note: Transcripts are generated using speech recognition software and may contain errors.
in the past, when you know more than a mere babe. Your father brought you and your mother to this very cottage. They were a handsome couple, but not handsome neighbors. You see your mother was with child, and had developed an unusual appetite. She took one look at my beautiful garden and told your father that what she wanted more than anything in the world was greens, greens, and nothing but greens, parsley, peppers, cabbages, and celery, asparagus, and watercress, and fiddle friends, and letters. He said, all right, but it wasn't quite because I got him in the autumn in my garden one night he was robbing me, robbing me, rooting through my rutabaga, raiding my arugula, and ripping up the ramp in my champion. My favorite! I should have laid a spell on him right there, but I turned him into stone or a dog or a chair, but I let him have the ramp. Ian I'd lots to spare and return. However, I said, fair is fair. You will let me have the baby, that your wife will bear, and we'll call it square. I thought I had been more than reasonable, and that we all might live happily ever after. But how was I to know what your father had also hidden in his pocket. See, when I had inherited that garden, my mother always warned me I would be punished if I were ever to lose any of the beans, beans. The special beans. I let him go. I didn't know he'd stolen my beans. I was watching him crawl back over the wall, and then bang Crash! And the lightning flash. And well, that's another story. Never mind. Anyway, at last the big day came, I made my claim and I take away the baby. They shrieked and screamed. But I did. And I hit her where she'll never be reached. And your father cried, and your mother died went for extra measure. I admit it was a pleasure. I said sorry, I'm still not mollified. And I laid a little spell on them. You too, son, That your family tree would always be a barren one. So there's no more fast and there's no more scenes. And my garden thrives, hon you should see my nectarines. But I'm telling you the same. I tell kings and queens don't ever, never, ever mess around with my greens, especially the beans.
Diva, Evil Queen, Misunderstood Villain, Storyteller, Wicked Witch, Angry, Animated, Bold, Commanding, Crackly, Eccentric, Lyrical, Over The Top, Playful, Versatile