A sophisticated female narrator telling a sci-fi story about chickens.
Description
Vocal Characteristics
Language
EnglishVoice Age
Middle Aged (35-54)Accents
North American (General) North American (US Mid-Atlantic)Transcript
Note: Transcripts are generated using speech recognition software and may contain errors.
greetings. I am so Vondra, the brains brawn and beauty behind humans be gone for macos. The city's best in pest control. If you're watching this, it means you're interested in learning more about jobs. Very astute of you. And if I may add very sexy, of course it would be sexier yet if you knew the proper term for an animal with bones is vertebrate and not. But I guess we can't have everything. Speaking of controlling pests around this time of the bladder cycle, you may have noticed chickens on your front porch and your walls and your ceiling, even the cracks in your exoskeleton, especially the ones you don't want anyone to know about. There's no shame in it. Age affects the best of us. Luckily chickens are not parasite Lloyd's. Believe me, you'll know when you're dealing with a parasite oid bird because you'll be passing out from pain now, unlike the bloodthirsty canary, the common chicken simply wanders and picks up food wherever it can find it. You just need to control where that wandering winds up. Now let's talk about what exactly a chicken is though, chickens are vertebrates, they have much in common with the wild starfish you might find going through your trash, luckily, unlike a starfish, a chicken won't try to take your leg off. Of course this is only during the motel stage of their life cycle, chickens spend most of their lives in the cecil stage known as roosting during this period they wrote in place and their feathers extend to filter feed on pro to cules. However, a field of roosting chickens may present a hazard for the unwary goob as well. And whether you like it or not, the existence of Pro to cules is proven scientific fact. Yes. Your ancestors, maybe even your progenitors were very tiny and may have been eaten by chickens, said Petro, moving on, you may be saying, well, this is all well and good, but how does that take care of my chicken problem? And to that, I would say wait, just wait for them to go into the cecil stage. That's it. Problem solved. But no one has any patience. So they called me now. This is no easy task, chickens aren't sheep, you know, you can't hurt them, but if you know anything about chickens, you know, they love eggs, specifically snail eggs. So I had the idea, I'll just put a hole in a snail egg, wait for them to crawl into it and then I close the whole simple good is done, or so I thought you see the smell of that many chickens in one place was enough to attract weasels, a lot of weasels and weasels. Well, they were really excited about finding that many chickens in one place. So, you know, they started doing their visceral versions and that wouldn't be a problem, but the smell of all that Israel was enough to attract vultures. The vultures weren't a problem either. Completely harmless birds, very docile, you know, when they saw the weasels weren't dead. They lost interest and left. Unfortunately, hawks are dedicated vulture mimics and they'll usually hang around vultures to complete the skies and well, hawks love chickens and now hawks are canaries either. They're not paris the toys. However, once they get riled up, they will attack anything and weasels are mammals. They're not paris the toys either, but they will hide just about anywhere they can fit. That's a lot of places. Sure the bullock or will take care of them eventually. But that's not a fun time. So there I was trying to keep the hawks and weasels from getting into the egg at the same time trying to keep the hawks and weasels from getting into me. And then I realized, oh, I could just let the hawks and the weasels eat the chickens. So I dropped the egg anyway, I got the chickens and really the client was very lucky. I was there not only did I take care of their chicken problem, but I also took care of the weasel problem. The vulture problem and their hawk problem. And suffice it to say I learned a very important lesson that day. Never put all your chickens in one egg. Well, that's my past tip. Until next time. I don't know why I watched that to the end because she called you sexy