I speak English. In all industry backgrounds. Female, powerful speaker

Tamara Dooley

0:00

Audiobooks

Description

46 years experience.

Vocal Characteristics

Language

English

Voice Age

Middle Aged (35-54)

Accents

North American (General)

Transcript

Note: Transcripts are generated using speech recognition software and may contain errors.
Hm. To attain to something greater than yourself, you have to be willing to give yourself away in physical reality. We understand that if you're standing in a given place, so you're climbing a mountain and you're standing in a given place and somebody's up further on the mountain and you say, hey, come here, look at this and you really want to, but you don't wanna leave where you are. You understand that you can't see higher up until you're willing to leave where you are. But somehow with personal growth, spirituality, we don't see that we somehow want that who we are now, be able to see higher than we are. We want to keep who we are. But we want that person to see more. That's not possible that how it works. You have to be willing to let go of yourself in order to see beyond yourself to see more than yourself. That's why Christ said you must die to be reborn. It's just so simple. It's so true. You can't stay there and yet go elsewhere. But this is very, very uncomfortable to the ego, very uncomfortable with the psyche. What we've done is develop these self concepts about ourselves, but who we are and how we think and our state of evolution and just all of our relationships and positions with everything else in the world. And yet we have a concept that we want to grow, that we want to better ourselves, that we want to get closer to God or spirituality or whatever. That's a very deep thing that has to go, you have to realize that in order to go beyond yourself, you have to give up yourself. Otherwise you are your own anchor, you are holding yourself back. In fact, you don't even have to think about going beyond yourself. That's the great mystery and mysticism of the deep, deep teachings. True spirituality says to you that if you understand that you must die to be reborn. If you understand that you must leave one rung of the ladder to go to the other. If you understand, you must leave where you're standing to go beyond yourself, then you shouldn't be worrying about what's beyond you, you should only be dealing with letting go of where you are now. The way it works is if you let go of where you are now, you will naturally ascend. The only thing that is stopping the ascent of the soul into the infinite is you. Nothing else is holding you back. Nothing, no one, nothing, no circumstance ever happened to you. No physical mental or emotional handicap. Nothing at all holds you back except you, your concepts, your views, your psyche where you're stuck right now. So if you let go of yourself and you will go up a wise being has no notion of where they're going. The deep teachings, the really deep teachings, the deep Zen teachings, the deep Taoist teachings say, don't even read, don't even talk about these things, don't even think about these things. Just let go of who you think you are. Which part? No, let go of who you think you are. Because who you think you are is not who you are. It's who you think you are and that is what's holding you back. You think about yourself this way, you think about your, that way, you have this concept of yourself, that view of yourself. All these things are things you're making up in your mind about yourself to the extent that you believe what it's saying. Then that's what you are. You hold yourself back. If you sit there and say I'm the person who got, you know, uh a car accident when I was 12, then that's who you are. Even though you're 40 years old now and you're not the person who was in the car accident accident when you were 12, that person is gone a long time ago. All right, all that stuff already passed. But you carry mentally within yourself that I'm the person who was in the car accident when I was 12. That is a mental concept. It's not a reality and the reality happened 20 years ago, but it's not happening anymore. It doesn't exist. You can't find a single atom in creation that is still there 20 years ago. The only thing that still exists there now is your mind, just your mind. What's left in your mind are these mascaras? Are these impressions? They're not real. There's nothing real about them. They're just dead energy that you are carrying around inside of yourself in the form of a mental concept. To the extent that you think of yourself as I'm the one that was in a car accident when I was 12. Look what you've defined yourself as you define yourself as something dead that doesn't exist. It's a dead thought. But you said I am the one that was in a car accident. I'm the one that lived at the street. I'm the one that had this situation. I'm the one that this happened to all dead things. But who really are? You wouldn't you still be you? If those things didn't happen to you, if you got amnesia, wouldn't you say? Oh my God, I can't remember anything who can't remember anything? The same person who thought that they were in the car accident when they were 12. There's only you in there. If you lost all your memories, you'd say, oh my God, I lost all my memories. Who the person who used to have the memories did you lose yourself. No, I'm still here. But I can't remember anything. It's weird, but you're still there, aren't you? How do you know that you used to remember anything? He didn't forget that you used to remember. He just forgot what you used to remember. How do you know that sense of knowing? You didn't get that bad in amnesia that you didn't know that you used to know. So the self still has a sense of awareness, a sense of being and that sense of being is aware that what it is now looking at its mental panorama is very different than the way it used to be. The mental panorama used to tell it who it was and what happened to it and all that now it's not. And so it's a totally different experience to the self. What spirituality says to you, what yoga says to you, what the depth says to you is what matters and all of your spiritual connection exists within the self, it does not exist within what the self is looking at. So if the self looks at a thought pattern that says I'm the one that was in the car when I was 12. I'm the one that got married in this day. I'm the one who did this. You are lying to yourself about who you are. You really are is I'm the one who's watching the mind. Say I'm the one who was in the car when I was 12. I'm the one who's watching the mind. Say this is my husband. I'm the one who's watching the mind. Say that's my child. I'm the one who's watching the mind. Say there's my house, I'm the one who's watching the mind freak out when it says where's my house? No matter what the mind is doing, it's not who you are. It's something you're watching, that's who you are. You are the consciousness, the essence, the being, the self, the only aware entity within the system. Spirituality under all conditions is about coming back into that state. Your only experience with God is going to be by coming back into the state of self. There is no thought that is more God than any other thought if you have a thought. And it says God and you have a thought and it says devil, neither of those are more God than anything else here. God devil is that clinic really more God and that clinic is really more devil. That's ridiculous. They're both Kleenexes a thought is a thought, ok? You can make a thought about God and you can make a thought about not God. What you have in front of you is two thoughts. One is about God and one is about not God, but they're really both thoughts. You can sit there and you can take clay and you can make it into a certain type of object or you make it into another type of object. It's still clay. Why he is being looked at. And it says there's clay, not, there's a holy object and there's an unholy object. There's a lump of clay shaped a certain way. There's another lump of clay shaped a certain way. It is not true. That one of those is more holy than the other. It is not true. That one thought is more God than another. They are just thoughts. They are just clean exes, they are just clay. So ultimately, you reach a state and your awareness, your understanding of your growth that you don't play that game anymore, that you don't sit there and say I'm this, I'm that you just watch the part of you that says I'm this, I'm that all right. And then the question becomes, once you understand that the only way you're going anywhere is when you leave that the journey, the journey is a journey into self. The journey is not a journey into different thoughts. It's not a journey into different clothes. It's not a journey into different places to live. It's not a journey into different books to read. Those are just different objects that you can move all around. The only place you're really going anywhere is when consciousness pulls back into consciousness, when self awareness of self focuses on the self that it's aware of, instead of the object that it's aware of, you're just aware of the one who's aware instead of being aware of what you're aware. You must contemplate this because it is all of spirituality is right here. This is all of Taoism. There's all of all of Buddhism. It is all of mystic Christianity. It is all of the Kabbalah. Every single thing that was ever written in the death of spirituality is about what I'm talking about right now. Period. That's the beginning and end of all. Basically, it is a question of subject object. You, the subject are aware of objects. You're aware of thoughts, they come and they go, you're aware of things. You see, they come and they go, you're aware of feelings, they come and they go. Are you going to pay attention to what you're aware of the object? Or are you going to pay attention to the act of awareness to the one who's aware? Are you going to contemplate with consciousness, the particular object of consciousness that's in front of you right now or are you going to contemplate with consciousness, consciousness itself? Do you see the difference? So it's like you're back here looking down, you look down through these eyes and you see things. Are you going to focus on what you see or are you going to focus on the fact that you do see it's so deep yet it's simple under all circumstances, every time you're in both places, aren't you? You are out here consciously projecting your consciousness onto the object, aren't you? You're also in here, looking out, if you have a thought, both you are involved in the thought, you're also aware that you're having a thought. And what yoga says is who's aware what the world says is what thought. So you have an emotion, you feel fear and you go to a therapist psychiatrist and you say I have a tremendous problem. What problem do you have? My dear friend? I have all this fear and a psychiatrist says to you fear, what kind of fear? What's it about? Fear of? What? When did you start feeling it? What does it say to you? How is it related to your mother? Your father, what color is it? There's a million billion questions about the fear. Perfectly reasonable. If you make a gross mistake and you end up knocking on the wrong door and there's a great yogi not the psychiatrist. You went into the wrong door and you walk in and you say, oh hello? And he's sitting there and you sit there and say, excuse me, sir, I have a problem. Oh, I think he said, oh, right. Oh, right. And you say my problem? I have all this fear. And he says, who say was he an owl? What kind of thing is that? No, you don't understand everything I have all this fear. He says, who not, what, who, who, who has all this fear? He don't wanna ask any questions about the fear. He wants to know how do you know you have fear. How do you know you have fear? I wanna know. How do you know, you know, once you get through being mad at, I mean, really mad, right? You sit there and you're all I'm in here. I am sitting right here watching all this fear come up inside of me like I told you who is in there seeing all that fear come up inside it? Who I don't want to talk about that? I want to talk about the fear. I feel all this anxiety. I have all this fear. Why don't you ask me about the fear? That's what I want to talk about. That's what I came here for. I didn't come here to talk about who sees the fear. I see the fear. OK? We're done with that. No, you don't understand. You can talk about that fear to your blue in the face. Then there'll be something else to talk about. There'll be something else to talk about. There'll be another type of fear. There will be nothing of jealousy, anxiety. Oh my God. There's so much in there. Don't even try. It goes on forever. The whole universe goes on forever. Any direction you want to look, it goes on forever. You want to get in your fear. I wanna know how deep your fear goes forever. You want to get in your jealousy and check it out, see how far it goes. Just go see what happens. See what happen you get in your jealousy, you feel more or less after a few days, the more you go in any direction, the deeper you go into it, there's no end to it. If I'm standing there out on the field and I look up at a particular angle, how far does it go? The direction I'm looking at forever? Well, what if I turn two degrees to the right? How far does it go forever? What if I go two degrees down? How far does it go forever? Every single direction I look in goes on forever. It is the same inside of you. Please listen to me. There is no direction, no vector that you can look in and start to go inside. That has an end. Let's say you're depressed. You thought you were depressed three days ago? And I said to you, hey, look, you know, let it go. He says, no, I wanna explore this. They say that I said I want to explore this. I wanna get to the bottom of this. Anyone ever make it to the bottom? There's no bottom. It's infinitely large, infinitely small, infinitely healthy, infinitely sick. How sick can you get? How psychologically sick can you get? Whoa, there ain't no end to that is there it goes on forever. Jealousy goes on forever fear goes on forever, insecurity goes on, forever love goes on forever hate goes on. Come on, hate. Can you get into hate. So it's like this and it's gone tomorrow. Sure. Can you get into hate? So, it completely absorbs every moment of your life. I mean, every moment of your life for the rest of your life. Yes or no. Have people done that? You better say yes. People have done that every moment of your life for the rest of their life. I'm telling you, it goes on forever. So now if that's true, that every vector in the whole universe where your consciousness looks goes on forever. If you look deep enough, it just goes deeper and deeper and on forever. Then the question is, what are you gonna pay attention to? You're gonna pay attention to the transient objects, all of which are part of the infinite universe that just come and go. But if you look at them, they just go on forever and the more you look at them, the more you leave self, you don't really leave self, but you lose that sense of awareness of self. So for a moment you're sitting here telling me, I see anger, I see fear. But if you get into it, then you don't see anger or fear. You become anger and fear. You literally lose yourself. Have you ever lost yourself in emotion or fear or anger or something like that where you weren't there and then you came back and you were there again. Yes or no. Ever lose it. Ever stop being there and then come back and have to look at what happened while you weren't there. Come on, what is that? That is when you totally lost your center of self, the consciousness, the energy, the shakti all got sucked into the object and the object ran everything. And then what happens is it can't keep your energy because you're really still here. And what happens is you drift away once the object loses its power over you all its force, it drifts back into the center of self and you're back again and you don't want to be back again because you don't want to have to live up for what happened. You look at what happened around there and it's not fun. All of this are the mysteries of consciousness. They're the secret of awareness. Your choice in life is, are you going to spend your life studying the objects of consciousness, thoughts, emotions form everything. Are you going to spend your life contemplating the nature of consciousness? What is it that sees when you see, what is it that hears when you hear? What is it that is aware of thoughts? When you think, what is it that feels the feelings when they emanate inside of you? What is it that dreams when you dream, you do watch your dreams, aren't you? What is it that receives the memory when your mind is kind enough to remember you are in there, aren't you? Sometimes you try to remember you can't, can you then all of a sudden it pops up, you say thank you, right? Because the mind brought this back up here. There is only one sentient conscious entity that dwells within you. You so when you say things like I'm the person who got the car accident, I was 12. You're a liar or I'm the person who lives over here, I'm the person who has this wife, I'm the person that has this husband, the person who has this child and the person, just all these different things that happened to you are just memories that are coming up before your consciousness and you're looking at them and you're saying that's who I am. It's not who you are. Why don't you say, and look at the Kleenex box and say, I'm the Kleenex box. I'm the Kleenex, I'm the wall. Then if you're not those objects, then why are you the thought objects? It's still in relationship of subject object. And so what deep spirituality says to you perpetually and continuously is under all circumstances. Pay attention to the subject, not the object. It doesn't matter what the object is. If at any given moment, even if you're having un spiritual, unholy feelings, you feel anger, that's very good. You see deep spiritual. He says, oh, you're feeling anger, that's wonderful. That can take you to God. You say what? How can anger take me to God? I thought only peace could take me to God. No, no, no. Anger and peace are exactly the same. They are things that you feel for you. Who are you that was aware of the anger, who are you that was aware of the peace? Who are you that was aware of all the different things that come up inside of you to cut through it all you don't identify self with object of self, any object, you just keep letting go of who you think you are. What will happen is you let go of the anchor. You will drift back into self, all spirituality and all spiritual experiences and all depth of being in all traditions of all times. Christian Jewish Muslim, Hindu, every single one, Dallas are all about the same thing. They are about what's back here. They are about who you are. They are about self. They're not about changing the objects of self to look more spiritual and that's what everybody does with their spirituality. Most people don't turn to spirituality at all. They just go out there and try to rearrange the objects so that their psyche is more comfortable. Don't behave like that and don't talk to me like that and please, but whatever you do don't wear that and act like this and don't do that and stay away from him. You know, I don't want you talking to him. What am I doing? I'm trying to rearrange all the objects of the world so that they don't disturb my personal self. Why? Because then I have to come to the psychiatrist say I'm so uptight and I'm so uncomfortable and I'm feeling so much fear and I have so much anxiety. All right, because your inner self is all disturbed because of the outer situations. And now the self can't be centered within itself. It gets lost in this disturbed inner self, jealousy, fear, insecurity need want all the noise that goes on in there. So you lose yourself in what is not yourself, psyche mind, emotion things basically, if you want to grow spiritually, you just start letting go. Don't go to God. Let go of what you think is you. Is that simple? Just let go of what you think is you because it's not you and you keep releasing the thoughts and what will happen as you do that is instead of clinging to thoughts and emotions and people, places and things you sit inside and you be aware of who's aware and you let go be aware of who's aware and you let go. You put all of your energy, all of your heart, all of your meaning of life into the exploration of who sees when I see who hears when I hear who thinks when I think who dreams, when I dream, who am I who loves what I love? Or do you care so much about the transient moment of love that you don't even want to know who it is? That experiences the love because you, who feels love is you who feels, it's only you and you wanna know what when you were 10 and you looked in the mirror, do you know what you saw? The reflection of a 10 year old body? Didn't you don't you recall looking out those ice? The mirror looks different now and you're not different. You are the one who looked at that 10 year old, aren't, you don't answer me just contemplate that you are the one that had the dream 10 years ago, aren't you? You see it's not a memory. You can bring the memory back up. But then it's you being aware of the memory when it actually happened. You are the one that was there, aren't you? This is the deep, deep, deep contemplation of the deepest truth of the universe. Because if it's true that you are the one who looked at the body of a 10 year old. And what age are you? Because you were there when it was 10 and you're there when it's 30 you're there when it's 50 you start understanding that it has no age. Why would it have an age? It's just self bodies can have an age and we can look at them. But that which looks at them has no age. It's just consciousness and you start contemplating what is the nature of this consciousness. But you don't contemplate it by thinking about it because then I'm gonna ask you who's watching the thoughts? Ok. Oh, I think I'm this, I know I've got it. No. Who's aware that those thoughts are going on? Contemplating self, self? That's the contemplation of self, not thought, awareness of thought. And so you start realizing you're there and you were there when you were 10 and you were there when you're five and you've been there all the time and even when you go to sleep, you're dreaming, OK? And you're just there, you're always there. It's a light that never turns off. I told you in the yoga Sutras of Patan, he's discussing deep, deep, deep sleep, the deep state which you call unconscious. He says there is no such thing as unconscious or not conscious. There's no such thing. Consciousness is never not conscious, it never turns off 24 hours a day. All the time. Consciousness is conscious and water is never not water. At what time is water, not water. There's always water. Consciousness is never not conscious. It's his nature. He says in your absolute deepest state of deep sleep, you are not unconscious, you are just conscious of nothing. So like if you're seeing and you see objects and then all of a sudden it becomes pitch black. Do you sit there and say, oh, I'm blind, I no longer have the ability to see or do you say I can't see anything you see the difference you're seeing still but you can't see anything, you're seeing nothing. So it's not true that you can't see. You see perfectly well. You're seeing nothing, you're seeing nothing but yet you see exactly the same as when you're seeing something and the act of seeing is the same and the depth of the deepest sleep, you're just conscious of nothing. You're conscious of void, you're conscious of emptiness, there is no distinction. And so consciousness just sees nothing. It is not unconscious. And so the great masters say consciousness never turns off. In other words, it's eternal. All right, you will eventually get to a state. If you will contemplate the nature of self, how every time it is aware of something instead of putting your energy into what it's aware of. You ask who's aware, you sit there and you look at somebody you say, oh, I feel so much love. How do you know, always bring yourself back to self? How do you know you love this person because I'm in here and I see all this love come up. OK? Very good. Then you're in there when it stops coming up too and you'll be OK. It's just you and everything else that you're aware of. As you contemplate the nature of self, you will be aware that you are aware and have always been aware and you will touch places deep inside yourself where there will be no question that you have always been aware and that you're just there and you've always been there and that you have no beginning and no end and that your presence of being has absolutely nothing to do with this body, this psyche, this life, it just happens to be watching it just like you watched the body of a 10 year old or yesterday, you watched a thought go by someday you will understand, you watch this life go by same consciousness, same awareness of self, same presence of being, there is no distinction. All right. And eventually you will realize you don't even come or go. You have always been. You will always be. There is no break in the continuity of consciousness, not through sleeping or awakening, not through birth and death, not through anything. All right. And you start to touch the part of you that's eternal, infinite, unmoved, unchanging permanent constant. The one, the one, there's only one of you in there. Objects are many subject is one. So all the deep teachings are fulfilled in self. When Christ said, where I go, you cannot follow now, you know where he went. When Christ said I am the way the truth and the life. No man cometh under the father. But by me now, you know who he was. It's all self, it's all who you are. It's in every scripture of every religion of every time nature of self, no difference, self, God, same consciousness, Brahman. It's the same essence, it's the same substance and you don't have to read about it and you shouldn't think about it. Tag your it. Now, if something that exciting is who you are, how can you waste your time whining and complaining about all the stuff you're seeing when who you are is so great that there's not a thing that you can see or experience that is beyond you who's experiencing it and so deep, deep teachings teach you that let go of the part of you that you think you are so that you can experience who you actually are. Once you catch on to this, that it's all about the exploration of self, then this is what you do every single minute of every single second period, every second of your day, all it takes is for you have a couple of deep experiences inside and you understand that you who is experiencing is beyond anything that you can experience. I mean, how in the world can an object makes you feel more deeply about yourself than you yourself. This is absolutely ridiculous. The object is something you're looking at the self is the one who experiences it. So why not explore self? All experience is fulfilled within the exploration of self, infinite joy, infinite ecstasy, infinite fearlessness, everything dwells within the self of being. So once you experience this and you see this and you see the escape route, then you use every minute of every second. It's not something you do on Sunday. That's something you do when you come here, it's every minute of every second is your escape route. Is your way out. Why? Because you're always conscious, it's always subject object. So either you're aware of the subject and you're contemplating the nature of self or you're getting caught in the object, you're either getting out or you're getting more caught. And so I started by saying the way you go to God is to give yourself away, just give away the part of you that's not you. But you don't, you defend the part of you that's not you, you sit there and demand your rights and do this and argue about that. Oh my God, it's absolutely unbelievable. And you just sit there and say, don't talk to me this way and don't do this and don't do that and I'll do this this way. And I said I wouldn't bother you become an unbelievable person. And what you're doing is letting consciousness get involved in this thing that's holding you down. And so instead you decide I don't want to do that. I wanna know who knows when I know how about you. You should just every minute of every second, be aware of who's aware of what's going on inside of you and then let it go. There's nothing to do about it. Now, this is where spiritual practices come in. You're gonna find this. Not that easy because your lower self, the anchor is very strong, very strong, isn't it? Ok. It's always got something to say, doesn't it? And you're pretty interested in what it's got to say. I'm telling you, give it away. Give it away. Learn to be comfortable being wrong, learn to be comfortable having people disagree with you, learn to be comfortable doing it. Somebody else's way learn to constantly, perpetually incessantly give it away anything that would resist anything. Give it away. You don't want anything inside of you that can bind you to the falsity. And so you just give it away, give it away. There will be plenty of opportunities. Don't worry, everyone in your life will give you an opportunity to do it. But it used to feel like they're trying to take it from you. Now, it will never feel like it because you want to give it away. So all of a sudden everybody is someone who helps you go to God. Every situation is something that helps you go to God, just keep letting go, give it away and just be aware of who's in there noticing what happens next. That's your soul. All you have to do is be the one who's watching and you'll understand soul me that which is beyond all this. And then as you explore it, it opens up inside of you and all the mysteries of the universe open inside of you. And then all of life becomes fun. It becomes a joy, becomes a journey to awakening and exploration of self. All relationships are only about learning about yourself. The highest thing you can give to anyone around you is your presence of being, is the self. The more you let that awaken inside of you, the more you become a blessing on the face of this earth and spirit will flow through you because you're not, you just make a game of it. Find God. But don't find God in your mind and don't find God in this world through objects and things find the root of your being, self presence of consciousness and you will find the greatest thing in the whole universe hiding inside of you.