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I'm a well in this great land. Looking at its millions of boys and girls to draw from me the inexhaustible divinity and spread his grace everywhere, as does the water drawn from a well. This is my story. The story of the son of General Abdin and Nachama, the story of a lad who sold newspapers to help his brother. The story of a pupil reared by Shiva Subramanian and I adore Solomon. The story of a student taught by teachers like Panda. The story of an engineer spotted by M. G. K. Menon and groomed by the legendary Professor Sarah. By the story of a scientist tested by failures and setbacks. The story of a leader supported by a large team of brilliant and dedicated professionals. This story will end with me for I have no belongings in the worldly sense. I required nothing built, nothing, possessed nothing, no family, sons, daughters. I do not wish to set myself up as an example to others. But I believe that a few readers may draw inspiration and come to experience that ultimate satisfaction which can only be found in the life of the spirit. God's providence is your inheritance. The bloodline of my great grandfather, owl, my grandfather and my father, General Abdin may end with Abdul Kalam. But God's grace will never cease, for it is eternal. Yeah, I was born into a middle class family family in the island town of Ramesh. Warm my father, General Abdin had neither much formal education nor much wealth. Despite these disadvantages, he possessed great innate wisdom and a true generosity of spirit. He had an ideal helpmate in my mother Asham. I was one of many Children, a short boy with rather undistinguished looks. Born to tall and handsome parents. We lived in our ancestral house which was built in the middle of the 19th century. It was a fairly large packer house on the mosque street in Ramesh Rem. My austere father used to avoid all in essential comforts and luxuries. However, all necessities were provided for. In fact, I would say mine was a very secure childhood, both materially and emotionally. The famous Shiva Temple which makes Ramesh Forum so sacred to pilgrims was about a 10 minute walk from our house. Our locality was predominantly muslim, but there were quite a few hindu families to living amicably with their muslim neighbors. There was a very old mosque in our locality where my father would take me for evening prayers. The high priest of the remission from Temple bakshi Lakshmi Shastri, who was a very close friend of my father's. One of the most vivid memories of my early childhood is of the two men, each in his traditional attire discussing spiritual matters. My father could convey complex spiritual concepts in very simple down to earth. He once told me when troubles come try to understand the relevance of your sufferings adversity always presents opportunities for introspection. I have throughout my life, tried to emulate my father in my own world of science and technology. I feel convinced that there exists a divine power that can lift one up from confusion, misery, Melancholy, and failure and guide 1-1's true place. I was about six years old when my father embarked on the project of building a wooden sailboat to take pilgrims from Ramesh or um to Cody and back. He worked at building the boat on the sea shore with the help of a relative ahmed Jalaluddin, who later married my sister Zohra. Hamad Jalaludin became a close friend of mine. Despite the difference of 15 years in our ages, we used to go for long walks together every evening as we started from Mosque Street. Our first halt would be at the imposing temple of Lord Shiva where we would circle around the temple with the same reverence as any other pilgrim. Jalaluddin schooling had been limited principally because of his family's straitened circumstances. At the time I speak of, he was the only person on the entire island who could write english. He wrote letters for almost anybody in need. Jalaludin always spoke to me about educated people of scientific discoveries, of contemporary literature and of the achievements of medical science. Another person who greatly influenced my childhood was my first cousin Shamsudin. He was the sole distributor for newspapers in remission for um and a one man operation. The newspapers would arrive at Ramesh or um station by the morning train. The Second World War broke out in 1939. When I was eight years old. Soon India was forced to join the Allied forces and something like a state of emergency was declared. The first casualty came in the form of the suspension of the train halt at Ramesh or um station. The newspapers now had to be bundled and thrown out from the moving train on the Ramesh Aurum road between Ramesh Warum and Cody that forced Shamsudin to look for a helping hand to catch the bundles and as if naturally I fill the slot, Shamsudin helped me earn my first wages. Every child is born with some inherited characteristics into a specific socio economic and emotional environment and trained in certain ways by figures of authority. I inherited honesty and self discipline from my father, from my mother. I inherited faith in goodness and deep kindness, but it was the time I spent with Jalaluddin and Shamsudin that perhaps contributed most to the uniqueness of my childhood and made all the difference in my later life. The Mhm. Then, then the war was over and India's freedom was imminent. I asked my father's permission to leave Ramesh forum and study at the district headquarters in Raymond, Shamsudin and ahmed Jalaluddin traveled with me to remain at a forum to enroll me in Schwarz High School. Somehow I did not take to the new setting. The town of Raymond was a thriving factious town of some 50,000 people. But the coherence and harmony of Ramesh was absent, I missed my home and grabbed every opportunity to visit Ramesh. Once I settled down at Schwartz High School, the enthusiastic 15 year old within me re emerged. My teacher, I adore Solomon was an ideal guide for an eager young mind that was yet uncertain of the possibilities and alternatives that lay before it. During my stay at Raymond, my relationship with him grew beyond that of teacher and pupil Solomon used to say, To succeed in life and achieve results. You must understand and master three mighty forces, desire, belief and expectation. Solomon, who later became a reverend, taught me that before anything I wanted could happen. I had to desire it intensely and be absolutely certain it would happen to take an example from my own life. I had been fascinated by the mysteries of the sky and the flight of birds. From early childhood I used to watch cranes and seagulls, soar into flight and long to fly. Simple provincial boy though I was, I was convinced that one day I too would soar up into the skies. Indeed, I was the first child from Ramesh room to fly. By the time I completed my education at Swartz, I was a self confident boy, determined to succeed. The decision to go in for further education was taken without a second thought. In 1950, I arrived at ST. Joseph's College. Tricky to study for the intermediate examination when I later joined the BSC degree course at ST joseph's, I was unaware of any other option for higher education, nor did I have any information about career opportunities available to a student of science. Only after obtaining a BSC did I realize that physics was was not my subject. I had to go into engineering to realize my dreams. I wonder why some people tend to see science as something which takes man away from God. For me, science has always been the path to spiritual enrichment and self realization. I managed to be on the list of selected candidates to Madras Institute of Technology M. I. T. But admission to this prestigious institution was an expensive affair. Around ₹1000 was required and my father could not spare that much money. My sister Zora mort gauged her gold Bangles and chain. To settle my fee. I was deeply touched by her determination to see me educated and by her faith in my abilities. What fascinated me most at M. I. T. Was the site of two decommissioned aircraft displayed there. I felt a strange attraction towards them and would sit near them long after other students had gone back to the hostel after completing my first year when I had to opt for a specific branch. I almost spontaneously choose aeronautical engineering in the course of my education at M. I. T. Three teachers shaped my thinking. Professor Sponder. Professor K. A. V. Panda and Professor Nursing wrong. Professor Sponder taught me technical aerodynamics. I consulted him before opting for aeronautical engineering. He told me that one should never worry about one's future prospects. Instead it was more important to lay sound foundations to have sufficient enthusiasm and an accompanying passion for one's chosen field of study. I myself would like to tell all novitiate engineering students that when they choose their specialization. The essential point is to consider whether the choice articulates their inner feelings and aspirations. Professor K. A. V. Panda taught me a row, structure, design and analysis. He was a cheerful, friendly and enthusiastic teacher who brought a fresh approach to every years teaching course. Professor Narsingh Row was a mathematician who taught us theoretical aerodynamics. After attending his classes I began to prefer mathematical physics to any other subject. Um But apart her deal and a good son. He's from M. I. T. I went to hindustan aeronautics limited H. A. L. At Bangalore as a trainee. Two alternative opportunities for employment, both close to my long standing dream of flying, presented themselves before me when I came out of H. A. L. As a graduate aeronautical engineer. One was a career in the Air Force and another was a job at the directorate of Technical Development and production at the Ministry of Defense. I applied for both. The interview calls arrived from both the places almost simultaneously I was asked to reach Dehradun by the Air Force recruitment authorities and Delhi by D. T. D. And P. My destination was more than 2000 km away and was to be my first encounter with the vastness of my motherland. Through the window of the compartment I watched the countryside slip past. It is astonishing how landscape changes as one moves northwards. I halted for a week in Delhi and appeared for the interview at D. T. D. N. P. I did well at the interview. Then I proceeded to the Herod. Soon for my interview at the Air force selection board. I could only finish 9th in the batch of 25. I was deeply disappointed and it took me some time to comprehend that the opportunity to join the air force had just slipped through my fingers. I tracked down to Rishikesh with the knowledge that the days ahead would be difficult. I bathed in the Ganga and walked to the chiffon and the Ashram situated a little way up the hill I met swami. She wanted a man who looked like a buddha wearing a snow white dhoti and wooden slippers. I was struck by his irresistible, almost childlike smile and gracious manner. I told him about my unsuccessful attempt to join the indian air force and my long cherished desire to fly. He smiled and said Desire when it stems from the heart and spirit. When it is pure and intense possesses awesome electromagnetic energy. This energy is released into the ether. Each night as the mind falls into the sleep state. Each morning it returns to the conscious state reinforced with the cosmic current that which has been imaged will surely and certainly be manifested. You can rely young man upon this ageless promise as surely as you can rely upon the eternally unbroken promise of sunrise and of spring. I returned to Delhi and inquired at the D. T. D. P. About the outcome of my interview. In response, I was handed my appointment letter. I joined the next day. A senior scientific assistant on a basic salary of rupees 250 per month. Three years passed. Then the aeronautical development establishment A. E. Was born in Bangalore and I was posted to the new establishment Bangalore as a city was in direct contrast to Kanpur, where I had been posted during my first year at the directorate. In fact, I feel our country has an uncanny way of bringing out extremes in her people. I suppose it is because indians have been both afflicted and enriched by centuries of migrations, loyalty to different rulers has dulled our capacity for a single allegiance. Instead, we have developed an extraordinary ability to be compassionate and cruel, sensitive and callous, deep and fickle all at the same time to the untrained eye. We may appear colorful and picturesque to the critical eye. We're about shoddy imitations of our various masters in Kanpur. I saw ponch doing imitations of Wajid Ali Shah and in Bangalore. It was replaced by dog walking sides In Bangalore two, I longed for the depth and calmness of Ramesh. Warm the workload at A. D. E. During the first year was quite light. A project team was formed to design and develop an indigenous Hovercraft prototype. In three years the hovercraft completed ahead of schedule was christened Nandi after the bull written by Lord Shiva for a prototype. The form fit and finesse was beyond our expectations. However, to my great disappointment, the project became mired in controversies and had to be shelved. Professor M. G. K. Menon, director of the Tata Institute of Fundamental Research, paid us a surprise visit one day asking me several questions about Nandi. He requested a 10 minute ride in the whole craft with me. A week later I got a call from Inca Spa, the indian committee for Space Research. I went to Bombay to attend the interview for the post of a rocket engineer. I was interviewed by Dr Vikram Sarah by along with Professor M. G. K. Menon and Mr Saraf, then the Deputy Secretary of the Atomic Energy Commission. I was almost immediately struck by dr Sarabia is warmth. The next evening I was told about my selection. I was to be absorbed as a rocket engineer at Inka Spa. Sometime in the latter half of 1962 in khowst part took the decision to set up the equatorial rocket launching station at zumba, a sleepy fishing village near Trivandrum in Kerala. This was the quiet beginning of modern rocket based research in India. Very soon after this I was asked to proceed to America for a six month training program on sounding rocket launching techniques at the National aeronautics and Space Administration. Nasa I took some time off before going abroad and went to Ramesh Warm. My father was very pleased with this opportunity that had come my way. He took me to the mosque and organized a special no mas in thanksgiving. I started my work at Nasa at the Langley Research Center in Hampton Virginia. Later I went to the Goddard Space Flight Center at Greenbelt Maryland. My impression of the american people can be summarized by a quotation from Benjamin franklin. Those things that hurt instruct I realized that people in this part of the world meet their problems head on. What makes life in indian organizations difficult is the widespread prevalence of contemptuous pride. It stops us from listening to our juniors subordinates and people down the line. You cannot expect a person to deliver results if you humiliate him. Now can you expect him to be creative if you abuse him or despise him? The line between firmness and harshness between strong leadership and bullying between discipline and vindictiveness is very fine, but it has to be drawn On 21 November 1963. Soon after my return from NASA India's first rocket launch took place. It was a sounding rocket called Nike Apache made at Nasa. After the successful launch of Nike Apache. Professor Sarah by chose to share with us his dream of an indian satellite launch vehicle. The development of indian rockets in the 20th century can be seen as a revival of the 18th century dream of Tipu Sultan. When Tipu Sultan was killed, the British captured more than 700 rockets and subsystems of 900 rockets in the battle of in 1799. His army had 27 brigades called cushions and each brigade had a company of rocket men called Jerks. These rockets had been taken to England by William Congreve and were subjected by the british to what we call reverse engineering today, With the death of People. Indian rocketry also met its demise at least for 150 years. Rocketry was reborn in India thanks to the technological vision of Prime Minister Jawaharlal Nehru. Professor Sarah by took the challenge of giving physical dimensions to this dream. Very many individuals with myopic vision questioned the relevance of space activities in a newly independent nation which was finding it difficult to feed its population. But neither Prime Minister Nehru nor Professor Sarah by had any ambiguity of purpose. Their vision was very clear if indians were to play a meaningful role in the community of nations, they must be second to none in the application of advanced technologies to their real life problems. They had no intention of using it merely as a means to display our might slowly but surely to indian rockets were born at number. They were christened Rohan and Monica the following year. Professor Sarah. But I wanted to see me urgently in Delhi. At the meeting, I was introduced to group Captain V. S. Narayanan from air headquarters. Professor Sarah by unfolded his plan of developing Rato rocket assisted takeoff system for military aircraft. By that evening the news was out. India was taking up indigenous development of a device to help short run takeoffs by high performance military aircraft. And I was to head the project. I was filled with many emotions, happiness, gratitude, a sense of fulfillment And these lines from a little known poet of the 19th century crossed my mind for all your days, prepare and meet them ever alike when you're the annual bear when you're the Hammer strike. Two significant developments occurred during the work on ratto. The first was the release of a tenure profile for space research in the country prepared by Professor Sarah. To me it was the romantic manifesto of a person deeply in love with the space research program in this country. The second development was the formation of a missile panel in the Ministry of Defense. Both Narayanan and I were inducted as members. The future satellite launch vehicle. GslV had also been conceived by this time, Professor Sarah by had already hand picked a team to give form to his dream of an indian SLV. I consider myself fortunate to have been chosen to be the project leader. Professor Sarah by gave me the additional responsibility of designing the fourth stage of the SLV. It was my usual practice to brief Professor Sarah by after every missile panel meeting. After attending one such meeting in Delhi on 30 December 1971, I was returning to Trivandrum. Professor Sarah by was visiting zumba that very day to review the Slb design. I spoke to him on the telephone from the airport lounge about the salient points that had emerged at the panel meeting. He instructed me to wait at the to random airport and to meet him there. When I reached Trivandrum, a pall of gloom hung in there. I was informed that Professor Sarah by was no more. He had passed away a few hours ago following a cardiac arrest. I was shocked to the core. It had happened within an hour of our conversation. It was a great blow to me. I consider Professor Sarah by as the Mahatma Gandhi of indian science, generating leadership qualities in his team and inspiring them through both ideas and examples doesn't but not that God go ahead, go ahead. After an interim arrangement with Professor M. G. K. Menon at the helm. Professor Satish Dhawan was given the responsibility of heading the indian space research organization. Isro The whole complex dumba was merged together to form an integrated space center and Kristen the Wickham Sarah by Space center V. S. S. C. As a tribute to the man to whom it owed its existence. The renowned metallurgist dr Brahm Prakash took over as its first director. Anyone who has taken up the responsibility to lead a team can be successful only if is sufficiently independent, powerful and influential in his own right to become a person to reckon with. This is perhaps also the part to individual satisfaction in life. For freedom with responsibility is the only sound basis for personal happiness. What can one do to strengthen personal freedom? I would like to share with you two techniques I adopt in this regard. First, by building your own education and skills, knowledge is a tangible asset. Quite often the most important tool in your work. The more up to date the knowledge you possess, the freer you are, knowledge cannot be taken away from anyone except by obsolescence. A leader can only be free to lead his team if he keeps abreast of all that is happening around him in real time To be a successful team leader, one has to stay back after the DIN and Clutter of a working day to emerge better equipped and ready to face a new day. The second way is to develop a passion for personal responsibility. The sovereign way to personal freedom is to help determine the forces that determine you work for the things you believe in. If you do not, you're surrendering your fate to others. The first three years of the SLV project was the period for the revelation of many fascinating mysteries of science. Gradually I became aware of the difference between science and technology, between research and development. Science is inherently open ended and exploratory development is a closed loop. Mistakes are imperative in development and are made every day, but each mistake is used for modification, upgradation or betterment like any other act of creation. The creation of the SVV three also had its painful moments. One day when my team and I were totally engrossed in our work. The news of her death in the family reached me, my brother in law and mentor, john Ob Hamad Jalaluddin was no more. For a couple of minutes I was immobilized when I could focus on my surroundings once more. I realized that with Jalaluddin, a part of me had passed away traveling overnight in a combination of district busses, I reached Ramesh Warum only the next day. I had no words for Zora or for my niece Mehboob, both of whom were crying uncontrollably. I had no tears to shed for many days back in tumble. I felt a sense of futility. I'd never known before about everything I was doing, had long talks with Professor Durban. He told me that my progress on the sle project would bring me solace. The confusion would first lesson and would later pass away altogether. In 1976, My father Jan lab din who had lived on Roma sure um island for 102 years ******* Leaving behind 15 grandchildren and one great grandson in worldly terms, it was the death of just another old man. No public mourning was organized, no flags were lowered to half. Must no newspaper carried an obituary for him. He was not a politician, a scholar or a businessman. He was a plain and transparent man. His life inspired the growth of all that was benign and angelic wise and noble. I sat for a long time with my mother, could not speak. She blessed me in a choked voice when I took leave of her to return the SLV three apogee rocket scheduled to be flight tested in France was mired with problems. I had to rush to France to sort them out before I could depart, I was informed that my mother had passed away with three deaths in the family. I needed a total commitment to my work in order to keep performing the desire to work at optimum capacity, lives hardly any room for anything else. With this total commitment and single mindedness, the SLV three dream was finally realized. In the middle of 1979 we had scheduled the first experimental flight trial of SLV three for the 10th of august 1979. The 23 m long four stage SLV rocket weighing 17 tons, took off elegantly at 7 58 hours. Stage one performed to perfection. There was a smooth transition from this stage to the second stage. We were spellbound to see our hopes flying in the form of SLV three. Suddenly the spell was broken. The second stage went out of control. The flight was terminated after 317 seconds and the vehicles remains including my favorite fourth stage with the payload splashed into the sea 560 km off Sri Hari Kota. The incident caused us profound disappointment. I felt a strange mix of anger and frustration completely drained mentally as well as physically. I went straight to my room and slumped onto the bed. A gentle touch on my shoulder woke me up. It was late in the afternoon. Almost approaching evening I saw dr Brahm Prakash sitting by my bedside. I was deeply touched by his affection and concern, I was said but not alone. A post flight review established that the mishap occurred because of the failure of the second stage control system. Everybody was convinced by the technical cause and effect sequence presented and there was a general feeling of satisfaction about the whole exercise of failure management measures taken. I was still unconvinced though and felt restless on the spur of the moment, I stood up and addressed Professor Donavan sir. Even though my friends have technically justified the failure, I take the responsibility for judging the R. F. N. A leak detected during the final phase of countdown. As insignificant As a mission director. I therefore take responsibility for the SVV three failure. The pursuit of science is a combination of great elation and great despair. I went over many such episodes in my mind. The idea that a man could land on the moon, developed by Russian mathematician, was realized after nearly four decades and by the United States of that, prof Chandrashekhar had to wait nearly 50 years before receiving the Nobel Prize for his discovery of the Chandrasekhar limit. A discovery made while he was a graduate student at Cambridge in the 1930s, how many failures must von braun have gone through before his Saturn launch vehicle? Put man on the moon to live only for some unknown future is superficial. It's like climbing a mountain to reach the peak without experiencing its sights. The sides of the mountains, sustained life, not the peak. This is where things grow, experiences gained and technologies are mastered. The importance of the peak lies only in the fact that it defines the sites. I went in little steps, just one step after another, but each step towards the top. On 17 July 1980, 30 hours before the launch of the second SLV three. The newspapers were filled with all kinds of predictions. Many reports preferred to trace the history of the first SLV three flight and recalled how the third stage had failed to ignite because of lack of fuel and the rocket had nosed out into the ocean. Some were a general prognosis of all that ailed our country and related it to the SVV three. I knew that the next day's launch was going to decide the future of the indian space program. In fact to put it simply the eyes of the whole nation were on us In the early hours of the next day. 18 July 1980 at 803 hours to be precise, India's first satellite launch vehicle S LV three lifted off, I saw the computer displaying data about stage four giving the required velocity to the Rohini satellite to enter its orbit within the next two minutes. Rohini was set into motion in a low earth orbit. I spoke in the midst of screeching decibels. The most important words I've ever uttered in my life Mission director calling all stations standby for an important announcement. All stages performed to mission requirements. The fourth stage apogee motor has given the required velocity to put Rohini satellite into orbit. There were happy cries everywhere. When I came out of the block house I was lifted onto the shoulders of my jubilant colleagues and carried in a procession. The whole nation was excited India had made its entry into the small group of nations which possessed satellite launch capability. It was both the culmination of a national dream and the beginning of a very important phase in our nation's history. Prime Minister Indira Gandhi cabled her congratulations but the most important reaction was that of the indian scientific community. Everybody was proud of this 100% indigenous effort. I experienced mixed feelings. I was happy to achieve the success which had been evading me for the past two decades. But I was sad because the people who had inspired me were no longer there to share my joy. My father, my brother in law Jalaluddin and Professor Sarah by the credit for the successful SLV three flight goes first to the giants of the indian space program. Professor Sarah by in particular who had preceded this effort next to the hundreds of V. S. S. C. Personnel who had through sheer willpower, proved the mettle of our countrymen and also not least to Professor Donovan and dr Brahm Prakash who had led the project Within a month of the SLV three success. I received a call from Professor Donavan in Delhi asking me to join him the next morning to meet the Prime Minister. Mrs Indira Gandhi. I had a small problem. It had to do with my clothes. I was dressed casually as is my wont and wearing slippers, not by any standards of etiquette, suitable attire in which to meet the Prime Minister. When I told Professor Donovan about this problem, he told me not to worry about my dress. You're beautifully clothed in your success equipped. Professor Devon and I arrived at the Parliament house annex the next morning. There were about 30 members of the Lok Sabha and Rajya Sabha in the room. Professor M. G. K. Menon and dr narc Choudhary were also present Timothy Gandhi spoke to the members about the success of the SVV three and lauded our achievement. In January 1981. The renowned nuclear scientist professor Raja Ramona invited me for a private meeting. The Devil missile program had been shelved in spite of tremendous achievements made by Narayanan and his team at the Defense Research and Development Laboratory D. R. D. L. The entire program of military rockets was reeling under a persistent apathy. Professor Ramana asked me if I would like to join D. R. D. L. And shoulder the responsibility of shaping their guided missile development program. I felt honored by the esteem in which Professor Ramana held me Republic Day 1981 brought with it a pleasant surprise the confirm mint of the padma Bhushan award on me. I filled my room with the music of bismillah khan's Chennai. The music took me to another time. Another place. I visited Ramesh and hugged my mother. My father ran his caring fingers through my hair. My mentor, Jalaludin announced the news to the crowd gathered on Mosque street. My sister Sora prepared special sweets for me, put a lock on my forehead. Father Solomon blessed me holding the holy cross. I saw Professor Sarah by smiling with a sense of achievement. The sapling which he had planted 20 years ago had finally grown into a tree whose fruits were being appreciated by the people of India he things. And then I joined D. R. D. L. on one June 1982. To the horror of many old timers, I started inviting people from the indian Institute of Science, Indian Institutes of Technology, Council for Scientific and Industrial Research, Tata Institute of Fundamental Research and many other educational institutions where related experts could be found. I felt that the stuffy work centers of D. R. D. L. Needed a breath of fresh air. I made a presentation in the south block although some questioned our ambitious proposal, everyone was excited about the idea of India having her own missile systems. When the Defense minister R Venkataraman suggested that we launched an integrated guided missile program instead of making missiles in phases. We could not believe our years. The proposal of the missile development project had been turned overnight into the blueprint of an integrated program with far reaching consequences. When I presented the government sanction letter before the missile technology committee at D. R. D. L. They were enthused with fire and action. The proposed projects were christened in accordance with the spirit of India's self reliance. Thus the surface to surface weapon system became the earth. The tactical co vehicle was called tissue. The trident of Lord Shiva. The surface to air defense system was named akash. The Sky and the anti tank missile project knock cobra. I gave the name agni fire to my long cherished dream of R. E. X. Reentry experiment launch vehicle dr Arunachalam came to D. R. D. L. And formally launched the integrated guided missile development program on the 27th of july 1983. It was a great event in which every single employee of D. R. D. L. Participated. Everybody who was somebody in indian aerospace research was invited. This was the second most significant day in my career. Next only to 18 July 1980 when the SVV three had launched into the Earth's orbit. The launch of the integrated guided missile development program was like a bright flash on the indian scientific firmament. Missile technology had been considered the domain of a few selected nations in the world. People were curious to see how we were going to achieve all that was promised. We were at a meeting laying down the targets for 1984 when news came of Dr. Brahm Prakash is death on the evening of three January at Bombay. It was a great emotional loss for me. His compassion and humility were exemplary. His healing touch. On the day of the failed sl ve one flight surfaced in my memory serving to deepen my sorrow if Professor Sarah by was the creator of V. S. S. C. Dr Brahm Prakash was the executor. He had nurtured the institution when it most needed nourishment. His humility mellowed me and helped me discard my aggressive approach. His humility did not consist merely in being modest about his talents or virtues, but in respecting the dignity of all those who worked under him and in recognizing the fact that no one is infallible. Not even the leader. He was an intellectual giant with a frail constitution. He had a childlike innocence and I always considered him a saint among scientists. Wow Prime Minister Indira Gandhi expressed her desire to personally apprise herself of the progress of the integrated guided missile development program. The entire organization was filled with an aura of excitement. On the 19th of july 1984 Sri Mathie Gandhi visited D R. D. L. Prime Minister Indira Gandhi was a person with a tremendous sense of pride in herself in her work and in her country. The esteem in which she held her work in the field of guided missiles, boosted our morale immensely. We were working on the action plan that had emerged from the earlier months review when the news of Sri MTI Gandhi's assassination broke timothy Gandhi's death was a tremendous loss to the scientific community. She had given impetus to scientific research in the country. Her son, Rajiv Gandhi took over as the new Prime Minister of India. He went to the polls and obtained a mandate from the people to carry forward the policies of mrs Gandhi. The integrated guided missile development program, being a part of them Work on Part three was nearing completion when we entered 1988. Poetry was launched at 11, hours on 25 February. It was an epoch making event in the history of rocketry. In the country. Poetry was not merely a surface to surface missile. It was in fact the basic module for all future guided missiles in the country. The launch of poetry sent shockwaves across the unfriendly neighboring countries. The response of the western bloc was initially one of shock and then anger. A seven nation technology embargo was clamped, making it impossible for India to buy anything even remotely connected with the development of guided missiles. The emergence of India as a self reliant country in the field of guided missiles, upset all the developed nations of the world. The Agni team was comprised of more than 500 scientists. Many organizations were networked to undertake this huge effort of launching Agni The agony launch had been scheduled for 20 April 1989. This was going to be an unprecedented exercise. Unlike space launch vehicles, a missile launch involves wide ranging safety hazards, all activities preparatory to the launch went according to schedule, we had decided to move the people living in nearby villages to safety at the time of the launch. This attracted media attention and led to much controversy. By the time 20 April 1989 arrived, the whole nation was watching us. Foreign pressure was exerted through diplomatic channels to abort the flight trial. But the indian government stood behind us like a rock and scaled off any distraction to our work. We were at T. 14 seconds when the computer signaled hold indicating that one of the instruments was functioning erratically. This was immediately rectified. Meanwhile the downrange station asked for a whole in another few seconds multiple holes were necessitated and this resulted in irreversible internal power consumption. We had to abort the launch. The missile had to be opened up to replace the onboard power supplies. The press was up in arms and fielded various interpretations of the postponement of the flight. To suit the fancies of the readership, cartoonists sketched the shopkeeper returning a product to the salesman saying that like Agni it would not take off. Another cartoonist showed one agni scientist explaining that the launch was postponed because the press button did not make contact. The hindustan times showed a leader consoling press reporters. There is no need for any alarm. It's a purely peaceful nonviolent missile. After a detailed analysis conducted virtually around the clock for the next 10 days, our scientists had the missile ready for launch on one May 1989. But again during the automatic computer check out period at T 10 seconds whole signal was indicated. A closer inspection showed that one of the control components S. One T. V. C. Was not working according to the mission requirements. The launch had to be postponed yet again. Now such things are very common in rocketry and quite often happen in other countries too. But the expectant nation was in no mood to appreciate our difficulties. The hindu carried a cartoon by cassio showing a Villager counting some currency notes and commenting to another. Yes it's the compensation for moving away from a hut near the test site. A few more postponements and I can build a house of my own. Another cartoonist designated agony as I D. B. M. Intermittently delayed ballistic missile. Amal's cartoon suggested that what agony needed was to use their butter as fuel. Detailed analysis of the component failure during the second attempt led to the refurbishment of the control system. Finally the launch was scheduled for 22 May the previous night. Dr Arunachalam General K. And sing and I were walking together with the Defense minister, K. C. Pant. It was a full moon night. It was high tide and the waves crashed and rolled as if singing of God's glory and power. Would we succeed with the agony launch tomorrow? This question was foremost in all our minds breaking a long silence. The defense minister finally asked me Callum, what would you like me to do to celebrate the agni success tomorrow? What did I want? What was it that I did not have? What could make me happier And then I found the answer. We need 100,000 saplings to plant, I said his face lit up with a friendly glow. You're buying the blessings of Mother Earth for Agni. The defense minister equipped. We will succeed tomorrow. The next day, Agni took off at 7:10 hours. It was a perfect launch. The missile followed a textbook trajectory. All flight parameters were met. It was like waking up to a beautiful morning from a nightmarish sleep who had reached the launch pad after five years of continuous work at multiple work centers. We had lived through the ordeal of a series of snags in the last five weeks we had survived pressure from everywhere to stop the whole thing. But we had done it at last. It was one of the greatest moments of my life. A mere 600 seconds of elegant flight washed off our entire fatigue in an instant. What a wonderful culmination of our years of labor. I wrote in my diary that night. Do not look at Agni as an entity directed upward to deter the ominous or exhibit your might. It is fire in the heart of an indian. Do not even give it the form of a missile as it clings to the burning pride of this nation and thus is bright. Prime Minister Rajiv Gandhi called the Agni launch a major achievement in our continuing efforts to safeguard our independence and security by self reliant means. The technology demonstration through Agni is a reflection of our commitment to the indigenous development of advanced technologies for the nation's defense till the agony launch. The indian armed forces had been structured for a strictly defensive role. To safeguard our nation to shield our democratic processes from the turbulence in the countries around us and to raise the cost of any external intervention to an unacceptable level. With agni India had reached the stage where she had the option of preventing wars involving her. On Republic Day in 1990 the nation celebrated the success of its missile program. I was conferred the path of evolution along with dr Arunachalam. Memories of the abortion awarded a decade ago came alive. I still lived more or less as I had lived then in a room 10 ft wide and 12 ft long, furnished mainly with books, papers and a few pieces of hired furniture. The only difference was at that time my room was in Trivandrum and now it was in Hyderabad. The mess bearer brought me my breakfast of Italy's and buttermilk and smiled in silent congratulations for the award. I was touched by the recognition bestowed on me by my countrymen. A large number of scientists and engineers leave this country at their first opportunity to earn more money abroad. It is true that they definitely get greater monetary benefits but could anything compensate for this love and respect from one's own countrymen. On 15 October 1991 I turned 60, I looked forward to retirement and planned to open a school for the less privileged Children. It was during this period that I decided to put down my memoirs and express my observations and opinions on certain issues. The biggest problem indian youth faced I felt was a lack of clarity of vision, a lack of direction. It was then that I decided to write about the circumstances and people who made me what I am today. The idea was not merely to pay tribute to some individuals or highlight certain aspects of my life. What I wanted to say was that no one however poor underprivileged or small need feel disheartened about life problems that are part of life suffering is the essence of success. As someone said, God has not promised skies always blue flower strewn pathways all our life through God has not promised son without ring, joy without sorrow, peace without pain. I will not be presumptuous enough to say that my life can be a role model for anybody, but some poor child living in an obscure place in an underprivileged social setting, may find a little solace in the way my destiny has been shaped. It could perhaps help such Children liberate themselves from the bondage of their illusory backwardness and hopelessness, irrespective of where they are right now. They should be aware that God is with them and when he is with them, who can be against them, let the latent fire in the heart of every indian acquire wings and the glory of this great country, Light up the sky. Mhm It makes me get out, I see you nine Hi, Hi, hi!