Alan Rachins - Narration

Transcript

Note: Transcripts are generated using speech recognition software and may contain errors.
Alan Rations. Notes from an acting career to pursue an acting career is I have experienced It is to suffer many losses for the privilege of a few winds. The number of auditions and rejections could be in the hundreds before something breaks in my favor. Each rejection has its own particular set of circumstances and disappointing realities, contrasting with the dreams, hopes and fantasies that was brought into that audition this week, I'm involved in a play reading A Woman produces a subscription Syriza to Jewish community centers, where she engages actors to volunteer to read new and non plays, usually with a Jewish theme to a mostly elderly Jewish audience. I could say no and sit home, or I could continue to work with other actors and put myself out while waiting and hoping for a bigger wave to come along. The play is about a poetry student at Bennington and her professor. It has value to it, but the conflicts need to be sharpened and the characterizations deepened. One does the best one can with the material available. I arrived 15 minutes early for the 1st 3 through on Sunday as I pulled to a stop in a parking meter in front of the community center. I noticed the billboard facing West, announcing the play with the name of the actress playing my wife above the title. My name was nowhere to be seen. This was a jolt. Immediately my emotions began to churn and a monologue began inside my head. Well, that's a shock, boy. My name is not even on the billboard. Not that I knew there was a billboard, but now that I see there is and see the absence of my name, I am definitely distressed. First of all, I've never heard of the actress playing my wife. Maybe everyone in the world knows her, but I do not. And second, my part is a lead, and hers is not so. How did this happen? I casually agreed to the producer's offer. I'm easily approachable. She doesn't even have to deal with my manager or my agent. And look what happened. I feel completely unprotected and taken advantage of unprotected, taken advantage of old and very deep feelings. Unfortunately, easily stimulated by this incident, I can't say anything. I can't say anything because the emotions are too deep and the actual provoking incidents seems so petty. I doubt that I could express this like a rational person. What I start to yell, What? I even start to cry? That's unacceptable. I'm sitting here stung, insulted, not valued. Swept aside. Once again, I've fallen through the cracks. I'm already ridiculous to myself for having this response. I refuse to be ridiculous to the producer by saying anything. No, the thing that I can do is to say nothing. Yes, I must let it appear is if I didn't even notice the billboard I'm is rise above this. I won't be able to pull off being too friendly to the producer, but I can put on a mask of neutrality of detachment so she won't know what response I have. That's it, just not to her and engage with the play as best I can. Do not let this interfere with the morning. Let no one. No but Alan, don't do this again. Learn the lesson right? Learned the lesson. Practice saying it now I'm interested in the project, but you should speak to my manager. Good. Say it again. You should speak to my manager. What's that great thing that Dr Phyllis said. We train people in how to treat us that such a hard lesson to learn. I'm reminded of a remark my uncle said to me 40 years ago when I announced to the family I was not going into the business. I was going to be an actor, Alan said. My uncle Listen, go into the family business, join a temple, act on the side. It could be your little hobby. I remember how stung I was to hear that act on the side. And here I am, 40 years later, acting at a Jewish community center and not on the billboard. Sure, because I didn't say make the arrangements with my manager. At this point, it was time to go into rehearsal. I got out of the car and glanced up with the billboard from the angle facing East. The other side of the billboard. They're over. The title of the play was my name. It looked wonderful. I felt elated and silly for all that energy that oh so easily stimulated Downward spiral for nothing. Did you notice the billboard? It was the producer, smiling of the doorway of the centre waving to May. Oh, I noticed it, I said