NewsMinute with Don Edgerton!
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Vocal Characteristics
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EnglishVoice Age
Middle Aged (35-54)Accents
North American (General)Transcript
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good evening. I'm Don Ed Girton, and this is news minute all the news that's fit to print and then some. An explosion rocked a prominent nudist colony in East Roxbury, Massachusetts, today, ripping a large hole in the outer wall of the complex. The cause of the blast remains unknown, though police are looking into it. The Instagram model community was shocked today by a sudden crashing of the popular social media platform. While the models interviewed expressed no immediate fear of having to weld and actually get a real job, they were dismayed by the temporary inability to pose nude next to a pizza. Coincidentally, Starbucks reported a spike in sales of their famous pumpkin spice latte around the same time. What's left to say, but OMG fam o M g A Man in Toads Borough, Arkansas, today caused an uproar the local hardware store when he promptly asked the clerk if they carried **** rings. When the shocked employees suggested visiting the adult entertainment store across the street, the man stated that he simply was looking for a way to keep his roosters fenced in. Police in Comstock, Nebraska, today were shocked by D brazen robbery of all the toilet seats in the local precinct house, putting aside the obvious question as to why anyone would steal so many toilet seats. Police have nothing to go on high drama today at the International Blindfolded X throwing Contrast in Cross Plains, Texas, when an axe thrown by Archibald Red Cools be in the hotly contested semifinals narrowly missed hitting the head of event host Ray Bob vehicles. So now his previously scheduled circumcision surgery is largely unnecessary. Executives at the former Yugo car company today announced plans to resurrect a failed brand with the backing of several prominent California venture capital firms. Though the executives are encouraged by the enthusiastic response from the male overweight gamer slash craft beer community, there are concerns as to whether or not enough hamsters can be bred to power the engines. A survey of online retailers has found that, once again, the most popular toy for Children under six this holiday season is the Tickle Me Elmo, the least popular. You guessed it the Tickle Me Steve Mnuchin, And that's all the news that's fit to print and then some until next time I'm done at Girton, stay informed and rule the world