Come on Allen comedy podcast sketch
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Alan, the three legged stallion. Please report to the stage. Allen to the stage. Come on, Ellen. That's us. Pick it up now, Ellen, the kids are waiting on you. I don't want to disappoint the kids. Now. You love the kids, don't you? I just love it when they cheer for you on your adventures or cry whenever you fall down A Well, because they're afraid you might not be able to climb back out this time. But you always do. You get your way out, and then the kids go from crying to cheering again. Come on, Alan, you got it. The best thing that could ever happen to an old horse like you is having those kids cheer you. On. I go. I tell you this all the time. It's just so special. What you got? Nope. Never met a draft horse racing horse, dressage horse, carnival, horse or horse that rich people keep in their front yard. That had three legs. Only in show business could that kind of thing happen. Gratitude is what you should feel every day, and I know you do. Come on now, Ellen. Come on. He means looking great today, Alan. good shine on it. You feeling yourself on that? Go ahead. No one's stopping you. Get you straight on in front of those kids today. Show them why they came. I bet more than half of them leave today with one of them new plus versions of you. They really captured your main shine on That did me. I meant to say, I told them putting the tag for it right on your stump was a bad idea. But they didn't listen. Just have the tag sticking out of his. But like every other stuff toy, I said. But they wanted to brand recognition to really be on the forefront there. Makes you look like you got a little ghost leg, I think flapping white ghost leg from a smaller horse. What do I know? Gets love them. Come on, Ellen. Up the steps now. Mm. Oh, don't give me that. It's not like it's a well or anything. Just a couple of flights of stairs go a little sideways if you have to. Just get up these steps now. I told Hank to stop making you enter stage left. There's no stairs to stage left, but he doesn't want to redesign the whole set. Now I think you've been doing it all these years. Why should have changed now? It's not the nineties anymore. He doesn't get that. You were a little cold then. Just skipping up these babies on your back. Loves Hank likes to think of lumbar injury is just a couple medium sized words that mean a lazy horse that wants him to spend money to the waiting on Allen. We know, we know. And jeez, come on. Come on, Alan. Let's show him. Here it is. Here's my guy. Put the clip in front of the clock, just like you always do. Let's knock this one out real easy, and then you can poop all the way down the hallway on the way back. I got us a bottle of that four roses. Whiskey like I don't know about you, but I can already smell a couple of glasses with two of pores at each. Come on, Ellen. Come on. It's just a little oil spill. Yes, sir. Awful weird that there's an oil spill on the stairs. But that's not gonna stop us, is it? Nope. Just gonna lying on this oil and keep on going up like a hero. There we go. No slips and slides for us today. He remember that slipping slide, though There was a great day you went clear into the bush and just mangled the thing. I still have the picture of you all splayed out and twisted up in those branches. Come on, Ellen. Now, if you can't laugh anything like that, what? Can you laugh at the thought? So here we go. Top of the stairs and the stages. Right there. You're home free, my man. Come on, Alan. Come on. Let's just dip and swivel around these bear traps. They got laid out for the big finale of today's show. It was awful silly. And then to leave them open and ready to jump right here in your path. But I know a horse that could clear this deadly slalom with two of us tied to his belly. Close, but no cigar. Mr. Bear Trap. You're gonna go hungry without any Alan meet today, My metal friend. Uh, because my guy here is the most impressive equine this world has seen since Alexander the Great's horse. That could stab Persians with a spirit. His mouth Oh, Busa phallus. I would be honored to meet Mr Allen, I bet. Probably get right down and bow to you. Once he saw the way you took a challenge in life and turn it into one of the biggest daytime Children's shows airing and sharing a county Nebraska a little bit at Dawes County, too. Rousseff would probably want Alexander to buy him one of your new plush and Alexander would try to pay in gold coins and Debbie in the shop with Look at him like, Are you serious, Mr that? He tried to explain that. That's all he's God! Oh, come on. Come on, Ellen. Come on. Oh! Oh! Oh, Dang it, Uh All right. I'll see. I'll see if they'll let us start a few minutes late. Oh!