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mhm. Things that I've learned to say because of meditation is I release what no longer serves me. And what I find is when I say that and I say it especially to myself when I leave work, because we take on so much stuff and like when you learn about who you are, like some people are in past, some people are healers. Some people are this. Some people are that, and so sometimes you can take on so much of something of a situation of another person that you don't realize that they've, you know, really taken up space in your life. And the thing is, you might not even be with that person. The thing I said the other night to myself where I was meditating is, um, I said, I am the love that I seek if I'm alone, that I am enough. Loneliness is a toxic codependency for something that is outside of me, and that's hard to say for anybody. But the point of it was, and I said, and since I realized now that love and money or energy that I can either cultivate or kill, I'm cultivating that. So my thing was I called back to me. All the love that I gave that was mishandled, abused, not needed in that person. Because, you know, I'm not with certain excess and they've moved on with their life. But they don't need the love that I gave them because that's my energy. I want my energy back. Welcome to the love Is podcast with your host, that thorny chick Karen K. K. Rose and her co host The loveable A Hole. That's right. I said lovable Mr D. K. Walker, where they will be discussing love, duh relationships, family life, sex, self help and what it takes to be a successful entrepreneur. Why? Because love is everything and everything should be loved now to today's podcast. Hello, everyone. It's your girl. Is that chick Karen K. K. Rose alongside my co host the level assault? DK Walker D k. Are you there? I'm here. I'm hearing all my I'm hearing all my old man glory. What does that mean? Sometimes you just wake up and like, you know, sometimes you wake up and you bounce out of bed and you're like, I feel good today, and some days you wake up and your bones be like creek. It's one of those days. Then you might need to increase your, um yeah, that's a strong possibility, you know? I mean, that's what happens when you be backed up. Yeah, so impossible. Something gotta go like you start to get older, like a couple of things. No matter how you feel for your energy, right, your body is going to tell you your age. And if you had a hard life, your body is really gonna tell your age. And so I haven't had a hard life per se, but I have a physical job. And so that physical job is actually pushing me forward to an early retirement because my body is like, How long can we do this like you don't It ain't that Ain't you no more cause cause that's not you. You're losing your running behind this trash truck is whipping your ***. All you think you do is come home, take a shower and you fall asleep wherever you sit after you got the shower. True fact, by the way, I've got off the bed because you got the shower. Some of the best to draw off, laid back for a hot second. Woke up. My wife was cutting me like what the ****? What did the date go to? Hungry? I'm hungry and ship. That's one thing I woke up for, right? And I usually never go to sleep, you know, because I always put something because I don't sleep in the nude, right, cause I feel wrong. I just like I feel free. And I'm supposed to feel free. I'm supposed to feel confined, like I'm not going nowhere with this conversation. I'm just letting you know when you get older, you start doing certain things you don't normally do. Going to sleep naked is one of them. And it's not by choice. It's because I'm too tired to put some drawers on. So does that mean all of a sudden I'm gonna start wearing clothes? Um, I don't know. How do you feel? Like you might you might sleep naked cause, you know, use a young freak. I don't. I sleep naked once in a blue moon because I'm just old if all of a sudden Now I got I get older and start wearing clothes, I don't know Jesus. We might need to come to a We're gonna have to have a couple to Jesus about this. Wait a minute. I mean, it's a possibility, man. Like, you know, for me, it's just like even when I was younger, right? Like I've never been a free bowling person. Like That's not my Like, I didn't I didn't I don't know why, but you have some people that were sweeping down, like just the way to go. No drawers around this ***. I need something holding my boys. Like I roll over my boys and family affair. I don't need you. I'm laying one way. My boys and another one. I don't need that in my life. Right? I need everybody together. When I do roll call everybody's president accounted for. I mean, they don't detach in their sleep. Sir, y'all need to teach me a new trick. I'm about to say no. Listen, I'm definitely you know, when guy A listen, all my kids, they always say my kids act like me, and I'm like, Yeah, but they pick up like they've picked up the worst of me, though Not the in certain ways. Like, you know, guy a is very anti close. Um, yeah, but he's at the He's at the place where he takes his diaper off. So when I say he's literally a nudist, he's literally a nudist. But one thing I don't remember back to that age, but I do remember it's funny. Got crazy story. Look, I was at my grandmother's house and I was like, Oh, because he just turned three, right? So I had to be I'm gonna go four or five, give or take. I come out the shower, I come out the top of my grandmother's house and, like everybody over like my mom, both my brothers, my grandmother, and in a couple of aunts and some cousins. So we got a house full of people, right? So my mother finally get my badass in the tub, right? As a kid that age, I only want to play all day and go to bed dirty, get up and play against all you want to do. So my mother finally, you know, I mean, corrals me, throws me in the tub right now. Keep in mind I'm in the country country, Fayetteville, North Carolina. Right. And this is before, you know I mean, they they start to fix So this is way back in the day. So I'm 51. If I'm five at the time we're talking. 46 years ago, Mother finally gets me in the tub. You know, in the tub, I scrub up, get some soap in my eye crash. Come check on me, boy. Stop whining. Get the soap on my I drive off. Put these on and come out her words exactly. Dry off. Put these on. Come out. Dry off. Put these on. Come out. Okay, alright. I got I got some of that and get the whole message. I dried off right, and I came out. Listen, I came out that joint like everybody died laughing. My mother's mother's a brown skinned woman, but she turned beet red and my uncle was over to right? And so he was like, That's right. That's right. That's right. Now if you let it hang, no matter hanging high. Who's his uncle Fish? No, it was my uncle. It was my uncle. He's just as crazy as the older brother, right? God bless. Arrest both of them. But so we all laughed my mother anytime she getting worse. And of course she would whip my astro boy, just like his daddy. He don't got no shame. You don't got no shame, right? And so my uncle stopped like, you ain't gonna beat that boy for what? He didn't do nothing wrong. And so I'm running from her. She behind me, and I run to him. And so he grabbed his sister to go ahead, and he pushed me, put clothes on board, and the whole family was down. My mother was just hot. This man. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You embarrassed? Like I'm not understanding. I'm just being a kid, man. I'm just letting the boys get some air, you know what I mean? Listen, guy. Hey, the thing is you got to catch him before he gets out the bathtub because he has no problem by getting the bathtub. Loves the bath. You got to coerce him out. Now, the thing is, while you coerce him out the bathroom and he finally decided to get out of the bathroom, you have to corral him in the bathroom. Now, I don't always have the good sense to shut the door. Or if I shut the door, he obviously is able to reach. He's like three. He's three, something like three ft, something like three ft. Let's like 34. So he's a pretty tall kid so he can reach the door knob by himself. He'll let himself out. Next thing you know, it's a naked baby. Now when he's at his paw paws house, His papa was an apartment. He ain't got that far to run in my house. I have a house, he's got stairs. This ***** will come out the bathtub and head downstairs like it ain't and could care less about who is downstairs to see his naked behind and all his glory. And we'll stand and we'll pick up a toy and play like it Ain't nothing, nothing he don't care and listen because he's my kid. I don't even care. My mom is like, Are you going? I'm like, What am I gonna yell and holler for? I come down the stairs. Listen. I drain the bathtub, clean the bathtub, let him stay naked, bring the lotion and stuff downstairs. I'm like, Come on, like I don't even I'm not even like I'm no longer even in the process to flip out like I'm like, right, right, Because the truth of the matter is I'm his G and his g relatively does the same shift every day. Like I took a shower, I stay upstairs Sometimes I come back down in my pajamas sometimes I don't And are there occasions where my aunt in is in the living room? It has happened to the point, Like the other day, my mom yelled downstairs cause I was, like, late for work. I come flying down the stairs and in, you know, into my into the basement. She I hear her yell to my t Did she come downstairs with clothes on? She's like, Yes, she goes, that's different. And I was like, Well, what was in my mind? I'm like, What do you care if I did or I didn't? Because if I did like, it's like I took all this the fire out of her argument because I did come downstairs clothes. She was waiting for her to say no, she could have something bit about. And I'm like, What you gonna say? Now you be nice to your mother. That's what you need to do. Leave her alone. Nobody wanna see. Okay, it's cute. Like I'm assuming I was cute when I was a kid. That came out right. I'm assuming that guy is cute, right? I'm not saying you, but you're a grown grown grown woman. Another woman. I wanna see another grown woman around the house naked. Listen, I'm not wet. I dry off in the bathroom, Dry off in the bathroom. My hair. Probably. That's probably the only thing to myself moving along between wet people and wet and wet naked people move along wet, naked people. So outside of that, everybody is good. The kids have gone back to school. Um, this to know. Not Tuesday. Is it? Tuesday, 2015. Oh, Monday. Monday is my two year anniversary. In my house. You need to get a bottle. I need to go get a bottle of champagne. So And if it's two years in my house, it's almost our one year anniversary on the show facts. This is great. They go by, they go hand in hand and go right behind each other. I'm gonna call you drunk that day. I'm calling you drunk that day. Well, you know, that's the day I block you and delete you don't do that. Stop block and delete me block and delete you social media on your phone. You're not gonna call me drunk psycho babbling? We're not doing that. I think I'm family. No, no, no. I'm gonna do my mike Kamala impression again. Oh, Jesus. If y'all If y'all If y'all knew what I put up with him, y'all don't understand. Like I got more gray hairs. Not from my dog on 11 year old, right? Not from my dog on 20 year, 26 20. I'll tell you what. The 2nd 26 now for my 26 year old that's currently down in Florida, living her best life on her own means our own terms. Had to give her a call today. One of the podcast. I get most of my dog on gray hairs, not from my wife. That stays with the honey do list at the ready. Nope. I get most of my gray hairs from my ******* co host. I promise you I can't help it that I wake up and I choose violence. Sir, I can't help that you wake up and you choose crazy. You just I'm gonna live that I'm gonna go with crazy today is what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna adhere to all things in lunacy today and without that day, with wonderful the effect I'm surprised, really like we're going to do a lot of things we've been talking about promising people, delivering on a lot of things. But one thing we will never do now you have my wilderness faithful list is one thing we will never do is actually write a book or give advice on communication. Because communication, because the communication between me and my co host sex we ain't gonna never talk about how to effectively communicate now. Me personally, I may do that so I may get on. I get into a live rant about communications. Communication is the foundation to all great relationships, right? That's my new thing. I really do that. That's your new tagline. Like communication is the foundation to excuse me. Effective communication is the foundation to all great relationships, right? And that's the truth, whether it be business relationship, Um, whatever. Like, if you're not communicating your needs, you want your viewpoints and not in the argumentative mode, but just getting your point across, or at least getting your point understood. Then you're always going to be at an impasse with that person that you're you're you're trying to, you know, reach some some sort of medium with. Right. So with that being said, don't you call me drunk? You know what I mean? Once that one year anniversary hits, don't you call me drunk? Wants you to spend two years in your house. Congratulations. By the way, don't you call me. I don't. I come home, I pop the champagne. I pour myself a glass. I take this one to my people. You call when I know about who you did it in that code, You don't you take the bottle to the head. Well, okay, that's true. I pour a glass out for my mother, take it to her, and then I That's true. Glassy eyed. She devil at its finest. Listen, they don't call me the bald headed home. She queen for nothing. Hair just finally, you know, caught up to the whole Yeah, hairstyle finally caught up to the shenanigans. That's all there was. So outside of, you know, you haven't been attacked by the dog, and I was dealing with that and guy a turning three. Um, there's really not much going on in a while. I had a whole ship lifestyle. I did learn how to meditate. Um, it's kind of been my new thing for the last 30 days. I got told at work that I I looked very calm. And then, um and then one of my girlfriends said to me the other day, She goes, um in spite of everything that you're going through, because I have some other things, you know, just life, life stuff going on. She's like, You really just looked happy. You looked like you were glowing. I was like, Well, I'm definitely not pregnant Thank God for that. But it's nice to know that when you try to, you know, improve yourself that others see it because I feel like a lot of times we try to, you know, so do a lot of self improvement, a lot of self care, and people find it because people are so prone to call you selfish in a negative way that if I take time for myself, I try to improve me. Then I'm doing something wrong and it's not it. And so because we're so trained to be, you know, for the likes for the applause that, you know, we want somebody to see it that well, like almost stop doing what's best for us. We'll cut our nose off to spite our face because somebody else doesn't see our quote unquote worth or see our work. It's like I'm really not doing it for you guys. I'm thankful that you guys do see it because it's, you know, training yourself to meditate and really, you know, like getting into the place where I'm understanding, like aligning my chakras and what this frequency and that frequency means. And it does cause a lot of conversation when you are what DK likes to call me a Bible thumper. So when you're when you're raised in a Christian household and now all of a sudden you're tapping into enlightenment, right? Right, right, right, right, right, right, Right. So and I want to ask the question, How does that align with how you were raised? Right, Because that's not typical spirituality with cause, you know, meditation, chakra, You know, say DJing. Um Right, right, right. And all that stuff there. So how does that align how you were raised and how you were you able able to actually, I guess, gravitate towards that. And what happened to prayer? Did you find prayer working? Not as effective as you liked or what what gives? What's the 411? Um, the thing about how I meditate honestly, is I do my devotion like I would any other day. Um, and before I really go into, um, meditating, I pray like I'll tell God, you know, from tell God I said God from a place of gratefulness. You know, I thank you for my life. I thank you for this day. I thank you before how you lead me and guide me how you protect me, how you keep my kids. You know how you protect my kids and you know, all those kind of things. And then I go into, um really meditation for me is my is your affirmations the things that you tell yourself anyway. But I just feel like when you're in meditation, because you've caused yourself to be still because you've caused yourself to really kind of go in in word, you really get that space where you're like I am healthy. I am wealthy. I am blessed. I am protected I manifest greatness, I manifest money. I I do not chase. I attract. You know, you really begin to really believe that because there's no you really. Meditation really is cutting outside world off because But the truth of the matter is we are taught that you know that the temple, that we are the temple, that we are, God, that we that God isn't us rather. And so with that, we don't know how to tap into that because I feel like we churches promote religiosity but not spirituality. There's nothing in the so what's the difference? I'm sorry. I just want to make sure people catch that religiosity is holding you to every word in the Bible. And the thing is, the word the word of God comes, came by. Spirit came through. The thing is, it's like the Bible originally is written in one language and has been translated however many times. Well, guess what? There's a reason why it's called Lost in translation, Because every language has a different word for a different thing. Like case in point, like the word homosexual wasn't introduced into language until, like 1842. And that was by the Germans was never in the Bible, the word homosexual. So we've built a whole quote unquote religious standpoint of how we hate a certain group of people. But there's no real bible basis about Sodom and Gomorrah. Was was demolished because of sin, not necessarily homosexuality, because there wasn't a word for it. Yes, the Bible does say a man should not lay with man, But there again, there are words that get lost in translation because we're not exactly help. Me too. And I and we're not gonna We're not gonna This is not a Bible class, right? Right, Right. But since you brought this up, there's some things that you know clarity, right? So you say in the Bible that it says man should not lay with man, but didn't David because David was on the was they They would have not correct me if I'm wrong records. I'm not a student of Bible as I once was. That doesn't mean I'm not a strong believer because God is the head of my life. I promise you, when I tell you, I would not be here if it wasn't for his grace and mercy, right? And forgive me if I don't know the Bible as well as I should. But what wasn't David being chased? Because, you know, uh, him and soul has something going on Something that effect Or David got chased in the woods with something and he's something. But he kissed somebody, which was a man like a woman with lovely kiss. You know, something that effect. So could you help me out? I get that. But it's also he did something else cause that he was he was running from another king. He had he had dealings with the King's son. So there. So Okay, so how is it in one instance that he had dealings? And when I say dealings, not necessarily masculine, that's my man. That's my That's my brother. Like he didn't have them type feelings, right? He had other dealings. You know, if I'm understanding what I read correctly with the king's son, that's why the king wanted to kill him. So on one hand, God chosen. Think about that. People that you gotta really like, distance yourself from what you believe to be true and to just acceptance of people because we're not God, right? And when it's not the Bible thumping, um, episode. It's not. It's just bringing clarity to the obvious that people are scared to speak on because if you go to church, you're gonna hear about 10 sermons throughout the whole year. And it's all about deliverance and overcoming like it's all about. I need you to feel good by the time you leave, right, because you know you can get a feel good story yet. So when you come back next Sunday, I got another feel good story from you for you, right? But you here and I'm not judging. I just want people to be factual. You keep hearing the same. It's like so much more of the Bible never gets discussed, but people are asked to learn their Bibles. But when When the people that's in charge that no, I need you to learn a certain section because it's all I'm talking about. I need you to feel good to keep coming back. I'm not gonna teach you about how my man and we're talking about homosexuality is wrong. But King David, you know, I mean had dealings. That wasn't necessarily Manley was never man. And then we're talking about like they don't even make sense. So what are we saying? It's not manly because I said not to say that it's not manly. They just had an interaction, but nobody. The thing is that the Bible never comes out exactly and says what that meant. So I think it was definitely an interpretation. I think he kissed him like a woman. He kissed him like he would kiss a woman that what does that say? Well, that part. But I mean the lame part because, um, the it was the week before Easter Sunday, my mom came home and we were talking. I told her about this homosexual part, and so she was like, huh? And I said, And so my thing is that in the Bible, you know, the only animal that spoke was donkey. So I said, How did a serpent then speak to Eve about an apple? Wasn't serpent actually a serpent? Was it because I said, you know of her theories that, um, Eve was in the likeness of Lucifer's love interest in heaven? And then Lucifer was a shape shifter appeared to eve as a woman because I said, and I said, Honestly, Mom, that makes more sense because women relate to other women we don't relate to. I don't say we don't relate to men unless we're trying to flirt. But it's easier to relate to another woman cause women, you know. So I said, Who's to say so now? So now I literally have got my mother, who is a severe Bible thumper, severe Bible thumper like severe, her pastors African. So you know, she she's she's staunch. She's very particular about prayer and things like that. So it's very funny to me, but you should see the wheels in her head like turning, and I promise to God. I was sitting on the couch on a regular Sunday with my feet propped up on the coffee table, scrolling through TV, trying to find something to watch. And I said it in a very you know, like when I'm talking or I'm asking something. I'm very monotone about it. I was very monotone. I wasn't excited just how I'm talking right now. It's like and who's to say she's like and where did Easter come from? I said Easter is a pagan holiday created by such and such. I said so truthfully, it just came from Cadbury. She's like Cadbury. I said Easter eggs. Mom, Cadbury, she's like you're funny. She was like this child of mine. But back to the whole question about meditation and, you know, spiritual space, Spirituality versus religiosity. There's nowhere, you know, the Bible does say to meditate both day and night on who God is and on his word. And so meditation for me is, um, been helping me, uh, kind of channel my energy, Um, giving validation not only to who I am, but to where I want to go. And to better manage me, I will say that meditation has in the last 30 days have me face a lot of what I will call, um, the dark side of me. Not so much. Not what, like people who meditate and things like that called shadow work, which is dealing with your demons. Um, I don't feel like I'm prepared for that yet, Nor do I want to go down that rabbit hole because I don't know what that opens. And, you know, one thing we've said before is, once you open Pandora's box, you can't, you know, necessarily put the lid back on. Um, but There are some things that I don't think, um that I knew were affecting me, Uh, things that I didn't know that were bothering me. And so it's been good for me. So, um, definitely dealing with some things that past traumas, um, things on it. Basically things of that nature. So do I feel like I'm in a better place? Much? Definitely. These last three days have been amazing. I can't I cannot be more thankful than to tap into who I am. And really, I feel like when you're you become more spiritual, you have a better relationship with God. Um, honestly think that I kind of was, like, anxious about church opening back up like I was, like, ready for it? Like, just let's go, Let's go, Let's go. Um, and then the other part of me is like, Maybe we shouldn't. So I was eager and anxious at the same time. So I'm like, Let's go, Let's go, let's go. And then I'm like, because I do work in the er. I see this every day. Maybe not so one of the things our pastor said before we left, um, that had the last service over a year ago. Now, um, was, you know, that your relationship with God would increase. And so however you you know, communing with God is really, um, up to you, and you got to find what works for you. Some people are nature people. Some people are meditation people. Some people are yoga people. Some people are, you know, they can work out and have a conversation with God. Some people right, and can talk to God like it. Just however you cultivate your relationship and I think that's what's wrong. People like something you can. I don't think anyone should be told how to connect right, because it's your own personal right, Like at the end of the day, one people. One person's interpretation is just that, their interpretation, and so that works for them. And that's the way that they live their life and other people that's there. So I think within the freedom of all things, you just have to do that, you know freely express your freedoms in your relationship with God. Point blank like it's not judgment for anybody else, right? I don't like I tell I haven't said this numerous times on past podcast like I don't care how a person lives their life. As long as you're not harming anybody else. Like cause you got to take it up to God created the day that you die, you have to atone for your sins. You wanna call them sins or you call them bad seeds that you sow? How do you want to quantify wrong for what we understand? Wrongful actions to be. How do you want to quantify that you like? Because you can't do one thing you reap with yourself. No matter what you believe, no matter what religion like I don't care, you're going to read whether it's good or bad, right? You're going to reap what you sow. Israel, whatever you call that, right? Right, right, right. Whatever you call is coming back to you, right? And so just having that little bit of knowledge, I live my life through that way. I try my best to reap as much positivity so I can get back that and and And to be honest, that's where you know, great for my life, not necessarily standing and being, you know, as I joked with current Bible, just knowing that always doing right when I can do right now, there was a point in time in my life I've done horrific wrong. Am I using these last remaining years to make up for that horrific wrong? Who knows? But it just serves me better just to always walk on the side of light than to walk in the side dark. I feel that peace I'm not at and just being me. I'm comfortable in my skin. I don't got used to see me or to to hear me. And if you want to meet me and then have interaction you would feel like I've known you since Because I'm the same dude like I don't have to put on no airs like this is me. Like I'm still gonna be crazy. I'm still gonna say some wild cowboy. I'm still going to be myself unapologetically right, And I think, you know, we're gonna get into the meat and potatoes of the podcast here in a second. But you know, quick message of the day to whoever is listening is like, just be yourself like it's a hard job to even think about being somebody else. It's already bad enough to to be yourself so master being yourself, and I promise you everything else will work out fine. Listen, I like me and you're like is extra. And the whole thing is, you know, like I said, you know, and I kind of, uh I knew that. I know at some point there's gonna be some conversation about, um my religiosity is gonna be called to the carpet, and I know that. And I particularly don't care, um, about that part, because I do have I'm wearing a rose quartz necklace. Um, which roles court is supposed to, um, increase your abundance and increase your love. I have a chakra. Um, angle it. And then I have this new, beautiful warrior bracelet that I have on, um that are were commissioned pieces by a girl here, Um, I'll put I'll shout around on my instagram page. Um, about that, my mom is like, you know, she's like, you know, the Baptist are gonna think you're going too far. And I said, That's fine, I said, But my thing is, this am I happier? Am I better? Am I making myself better? Isn't that the whole point? Like to love my fellow man more than what I do, I said, And I clearly wasn't doing that. Just going to church Sunday on Sunday in Bible class and I teach in Children's Ministry. I clearly wasn't was missing something. And now that I've found whatever works for me, then that's what I'm gonna continue to do until Jesus tells me otherwise. And that's just the end. All be all facts on facts on facts on facts. Um, yeah, And then they just gotta be true to you, you know, no matter what you're going through and I applaud you for because you've been actually, you know, lack of better words indoctrinated with, you know, the way that you're supposed to have a relationship with God and it speaks volumes of you to step outside of that because there was. I'm assuming and please correct me if I'm wrong. There was an inner turmoil because you wasn't getting your desired results because you like, there was more for you to do. And for now, as you're meditating and praying and then being accepting of other ways of having, you know communication with God, now you feel more better and at and at ease, which may be a direct conflict with the way that you were brought up. But once again this is your life. Exactly. Exactly. And the thing is, I said, if I noticed that like the thing like one of the things that I've learned to say because of meditation is I release what no longer serves me. And what I find is when I say that and I say it, especially to myself when I leave work, because we take on so much stuff and like when you learn about who you are, like some people are in past, some people are healers. Some people are this. Some people are that, and so sometimes you can take on so much of something of a situation of another person that you don't realize that they've, you know, really taken up space in your life. And the thing is, you might not even be with that person. The thing I said the other night to myself or I was meditating is, um, I said, I am the love that I seek if I'm alone, that I am enough. Loneliness is a toxic codependency for something that is outside of me, and that's hard to say for anybody, but the point of it was and I said, And since I realized now that love and money or energy that I can cultivate or kill, I'm cultivating that. So my thing was, I called back to me all the love that I gave that was mishandled abuse not needed in that person because, you know, I'm not with certain excess and they've moved on with their life. But they don't need the love that I gave them because that's my energy. I want my energy back because I need that love for me, not because I hate them or have any animosity but its energy. I want my energy back. I want all that's positive to come back to me, period facts. It's a good look. You know, it's not a problem. We've been down this rabbit hole for a minute, So with that being said, let's climb across this rabbit hole. Um, what's going? It don't even matter what's going on with me. Ain't nothing new like I'm still gonna clean the house. That's what that's what's going on with you. Dickie gonna come down there and knock on the door and knock all your stuff over again if you don't get that. You know what's crazy? Because we had recorded an early podcast with a family member. She's no longer a friend to the podcast. Um, you know, remember when Rocco was going crazy, Right? Okay, Coco, this is This is crazy, like And so I heard my wife talking to somebody, and, you know, I said hello to let people know that that, you know, they can make noise. Now, you know, my family is really good about being quiet, right? And so I use the bathroom. True story. And this just happened. I use the bathroom, wash my hands, and my wife had put some new soap, um, in the soap dispenser down in the bathroom, right? I was like, Wow, this smells good, right? And I opened up the door on the door and standing right there before me is my mother in law. I screamed like a white female in adjacent movie Mhm. True story, she said. And she's looking at me like, really I'm like, yeah, really. And she first was out of her mouth. Well, I'm glad that it smells good, man. We died laughing, man. It's just like I knew somebody was here. By the way, my dog was acting. Yeah, I I thought it was two things because, like, he goes crazy when the doorbell is right. So I'm gonna just assume I assume that was just packages, right? But it wasn't. It was actually, you know, I mean, you know, his nanny making a surprise visit. So Right, right, right, right. So I would get around to cleaning. I doubt if that happens, I'll touch the house up. This is what I'll do. But that's pretty much about it. I'm tired, boss. You gotta get I am tired, boss. Well, we're gonna move on to baldheaded Horseshit Awards. A baldheaded hosted award. Music. Today's award is going to Janet Mock. She is the transgender of Advocate, um, that uses her platform and skills that she's cultivated as a journalist to bring marginalized stories to the forefront. Um, she will she's actually directing. Um, she wrote and directed the episode of the show post that will be airing on Fox here Pretty soon. Um, they're coming back for their final season. Um, but that is going to be her show. She has written two memoirs about her own experience. Her first was a best seller. Um, from the perspective of a young trans person, she also uses this hashtag girls like us to foster a sense of community online for trans women. Five years ago, she founded the hashtag Trans book Drive to Let L g B T Q and there's a letter. I think it's a now there. So all the letters please do not come after me. I don't know all of them. So sorry Books into the hands of trans prisoners. So shout out to Janet Mock, um, she is on, uh, instagram will be tagging her. Um, you can find her. Like I said at hashtag girl like us or hashtag redefining realness, facts, facts. Yeah, that's a big shout out. You know, I mean, appreciate you doing what you're doing and thank you for giving away, you know, I mean, the much sought after baldheaded whole **** awards. Absolutely. Absolutely. I love her work. Um, on post the show. If you guys have not tapped into that, you can find it. Wherever shows are streaming is actually Billy Porter is on that show. So if you guys, um, have obviously not been living under a rock. You know, he gets a lot of flack for his, uh, like, once again, whether you agree, Disagree? Just live your life. Yeah, you know, but he gets a lot of his his outfits. That's what I was right, right? Right. I seen it. I was I was I'm gonna keep it a buck, right, cause I'm not gonna act like I'm I'm not that guy, but, you know, I've seen another. I was put off for a second because, I mean, not only was he in your face except me except me talking about Billy Porter, as is right, he was just in your face. And he's, like, loud with it. And then I had to stop and regroup. But that's my man. It has nothing to do with me. The way he lived his life and what he's doing is making him happy, man, by all means. Find the best outfits. Find the brightest colors. No notice. I didn't say nothing about no suit and tie. I told him to go find the best outfits. They're gonna put a smile on his face and put joy in his heart. Go live your life, man. like, you know, if you're right, you're right. If you're wrong, you're wrong. But at the bottom, at the end of the day, it's your life. You get to choose how you want to go live it. Yeah, And then the thing is, when we I feel like for Billy Porter like he's so talented, he's so talented and, you know, to see not only us as a black culture, you know, kind of pick him apart before sexuality or what he chose to wear. It's so it goes against you know how creative he is. And it's like, What does it matter what he puts on his body? It's close. If you put it on, you might not like, You know what I'm saying, right? Right, right, cause I can't do one and I can't do other. There's something we gotta do, and people want to feel a certain type of way. So Okay, um, I have no problem with whomever right. And I like I And I'm not saying this in a pacifying way, right? I've had one of my brothers, my middle brother. He's been *** his whole life like he's been my He's my brother. Before his choice in the way that he identifies his sexuality. So I don't like that she don't move me, you know, Like it Don't Steve always gonna be Steven? He's always going to be my heart. In my darkest times, when I looked around in the room and see nothing but a face full of strangers, I've seen his face and I knew, You know what I mean? Everything is gonna be all right, right? Everything is gonna be all right. So I need people to hear me when I understand this. I don't have no problem how people decide to live their lives, but in the very near future. And it may be a, um, pointed conversation. I do want to look at how you know, black males are portrayed far as their sexuality. Right? I do want to look at that on the podcast, and I'm not judging right. I just think that everybody needs to walk in their own light and everybody needs to be given their own time to shine. My only hang up with the whole and not going down this rabbit hole rabbit hole. We're going on today. My thing is, I don't think our kids need to be subjected, you know? I mean, let them make their choices at an early age. I don't think they need to be watching the cartoons. Come on. And then there's, you know, innuendo right? Or they're seeing something that's gonna make them question. At least give us parents first chance to have a conversation with our kids. So preparing them to make their own choices because, like kids at very at a young age is uber impressionable and they'll see something not fully realizing or understanding their own bodies. And then they may take hold to something, not understanding, like I'm going just because it's popular and not because this is true who I truly am to be. That's the only hang up I got right whether we do a podcast about that or not. Like I said, whomever is doing their own thing. By all means, live your life, Live your truth. Now people want to take what I said out of context. I'm not tripping. I promise you like it's kind of hard to cancel somebody my age because I cut off the Internet. I'm going to sleep. I'm not anti anything. I'm just pro about being, you know, aware of what we subject our kids to write at such an early age. Now, if your kid happens to identify, know where they're at at an early age, I think that everybody should, You know what I mean? Take a page out of Dwyane Wade's book and then championed their kids on because their kids made a conscious decision and effort to identify who they were at an early age. But if their kid hasn't, you gotta be really careful what you subject them to, like, give them time to figure them their own Selves out. And then whatever they choose to be as they grow up, then you support them. You know what I mean? Because they're yours because you would want somebody to love you. You know, in your darkest times, right? You don't want to feel you know less than love. Especially like your house is your refuge. You don't want to at all places. When you know you step foot through your front door, you want to feel like I'm home and home is another word for safe. Right? In the end, we're going down this we're gonna end this um, and get into the meat and potatoes of it. But my cousin came out as ***, and so she, um this, you know, and again I come from a Bible thumping family, so they're very strict, very, you know, by believing. And I remember my godmother was living at the time and she turned to me and she's so I walked in the house and they were having a conversation about it. So she said, Let me hear this woman's perspective because the thing about me is I've always been the wild card. I've always been the rebel child like I will go to church and not wear stockings on purpose. I will go to church and question everything. I've always been that child. I've always been inquisitive. I've always had a thing about, you know, being defined. I guess maybe, but I always want to know why I've always been the white child. Well, why do we do it this way? Why do we have to do it that way? And she turned to me and she said, Karen, she says, You know, America's ***, you know, how do you feel about it? And I said, Why should I feel anything. She's like, Well, you know, we believe I said Yes. We believe that God is love And I said, If we as her family won't love her, why would I expect the world to? I said, Never did God tell me to judge somebody about their sexuality, their lifestyle be judged. I said no. Where did God tell me to judge a homosexual? Never in his life has he said that never in from Genesis to revelation. So I said, If we as her family won't love her, then why do I expect somebody else to? So that's that's my you know, my sticker on it. So my thing is, we're gonna get a lot of love to people like you. And like you said, if you're living in your in your If you're living in love and light and you're doing nothing that is harming somebody else by all means wreck out, it's and the thing about our kids Yeah, you gotta let them figure it out on their own. But listen, stop letting watch so much damn TV anyways. Trash, trash, trash! Give them some financial literacy books. Get them some black history books Get them on a path that's gonna make them some money. So when they are 18, they can decide whether or not they want to go to college or not. You right, Right, right, right. But no, it's crazy that you say that and we didn't even touch the meter. Like we We gotta go. Okay. All right. I'm gonna stop on this one. I promise you, we're gonna get to where we're going to write. But thank you for listening so far, right? Because we get on these tangents and it'll be so good that actually, every tangent we get on this podcast worthy, right. Um but I'll say this. You know this thing? My daughter's 11 going on 55, her old soul having gas. But when she gets into a child like cause she ain't nothing but a kid, right? So I told her, right. I was like so when I see her this lounge and not doing nothing all day long, I say you 11, what have you done today for your 20 year old self? Like what you're doing now, even at 11 years old is going to impact the future. You So you gotta at least. And this is for the next time we're talking about business and further oneself along. I'm gonna get you early and somebody take this and run with it. Especially if you got kids, right? You have to teach your kids to soc It's not, You know, you sow seeds for the reaping of tomorrow. I'm gonna say it again. I'm gonna go down, right? Slow down. I promise you, You have to teach your kids to sow seeds of today for the reaping of tomorrow. Because if you think about if you teach a child how to be financially literate, if you teach them how to get money to work for them or not to work for money. If you teach them how stocks work if you teach them how to like, you know, be into ownership if you teach these kids I said kids. I didn't say adults parents. If you teach your kids these things as kids do, you know The phenomenal life that they can have by the time they get to 20 there, you'll teach them not to be an employer. First of all right, and they can go do what they want to you. can give them all this knowledge in the world. And they can be the best burger flipper at doggone Burger King, right? Your job is to teach what they do with it is all on them. But when it comes time, they like you're giving them. You know that that that escape plan from the rat race of the 9 to 5. But you got to instill that into them now. Don't don't don't just shove something electronic in their face so they can stop bothering you. Don't don't just shove the remote control in your hands. You can watch TV mindless TV for hours on end. Give them something that's going to impact the young adult them and they can be mad talking about you taking up all my time like me and my daughter were going back and forth. But I told her that when you're 20 years old and you look at your bank account and you'll be like, Damn, I'm doing well, well, you got to follow the thing for that, right? And I expect you do the same thing for my grandkids, no matter how much they look at you, like they want to put foot in your as you like. I promise you whatever. And I hope she named her daughter and son after me. If not, if I'm dead, I'm gonna come back and harassed for not doing it anyway. I promise you that has remained of me. I know, but I promise you, if you get your kids on the path started right now, you don't have to worry about them. What happens is we just teach our kids how to cope and get along because we feel that it was okay for me. Know, And I love my mother and father to life. But what they gave me, they gave me knowledge from a limited source What I want to give my kids. I want to give them something that's going to impact their lives and then what? They understand that they live their lives in in time increments. So the 11 and 12 year old Molly is gonna so many seeds that's gonna be very beneficial to the 20 year old model. 20 year old Mollie is gonna so many seeds is gonna be beneficial to 30 year old model. And so what happens when she gets married? If she chooses to do so. And she has kids. If she chooses to do so, she'll put that back into them. And that's how you break the generational curses within the family. It ain't all about getting rich. I I'm a I'm 51. I may not get there as many plans. I just may not get there. I may go upstairs, lay down and have the best sleep I've ever had because of an internal sleep. It just may happen, right? But based on sowing those seeds, I'm guaranteeing that my dog on legacy will live on, in fact, black Mamba mentality right there, to say the least. Anyway, we was really heavy on this podcast. So should we stay heavy and then because we was real heavy on this podcast with the people, right. Listen, this is real life. This is who we are. So I mean, you know, if that's if that's the case, then we can actually keep going down this road, and then we, you know, back door and do what we're supposed to do with the joint because all we got is X amount of X amount of right. So, um, with that being said, Let's let's let's because you're pretty articulate and you're pretty, you know you can You can operate. You know what I mean and articulate, you know, off the seat of your pants. Or but you can pull so much as is what I'm trying to say nicely. Right, Um so give me some practical ways that you're instilling in your kids and that other people listeners can instill in their kids ways of, you know, sowing seeds for their future Selves. I am having adult conversations with my kids. I've never been the type I've said this before in podcast like, I never liked the way my parents spoke to to me and my sister. Uh, it was very like, Very. And I don't know if it's because they're foreigners, you know, And I make jokes about them all the time because my parents are Jamaican and they Jamaicans are loud by nature, and Jamaicans have a very authoritative way because authoritative way Yeah, dismissive way of speaking to people. And so a Jamaican woman is kind of is a little nicer about it, but it's the same. It's the same tone. It's the same tone, so I didn't like that because I felt like And I think that's why I fight so hard now to be heard as an adult like, especially in relationships in my business relationships and personal relationships. Because I need to know that you hear me and you understand what I'm trying to articulate because I don't want I don't like that, um, miscommunication. And I don't like you like I don't like the misinterpretation of it is really what it is. I don't want you to feel like I'm trying to be brass or I'm trying to be harsh, and I'm not. I just need you to understand what I'm trying to get across. So I so with them, I have adult conversations with them. And so if they tell me things like they don't like the way I say something to them, I will maybe soften my tone, depending on the situation. So I am telling them at this point in life, like, Listen, you guys have an opportunity to figure out what you want to do for the rest of your life, just like you told NJ. I said, you know, Gavin wants to be, um, uh, illustrator Or some kind of graphic designer and I said, Okay, well, then all these sketchbooks that I bought you, all these markers that I bought you you need to be utilizing that instead of watching Ben 10 or what? What is he on now? It's not a bent anymore, but whatever show he's into right now that he, like, literally binges, you know, for hours on the end instead of doing that. Five days of the week. 32. That is the week you maybe binge and two days You need to work on drawing. My niece wants to be a psychologist, I said, Okay, well, then you need to stop watching RuPaul's drag race on Hulu set 5 to 7 days of the week, and you need to start reading about that stuff early because you really need to know if this is really what you want to do. Or at least give yourself a leg up, I said, because mental illness is a severe, severe thing going on in this nation and, you know, for the again, me working at the ER. It's affecting Children more than these adults. I see more kids come through our ER for psyche valves. We see more Children, you know? And when I say Children, I mean from the age under 18 being seen for some type of mental illness or some kind of mental break and that were and they're not getting, You know, thank God for the er that I work at because they get great service. But everywhere is not like that, you know? And there's a lot of kids who really need help. So I said to her, you've got to really think this through. My daughter's 27 years old. I keep my foot on her neck because she procrastinates. I'm like, listen, what are you doing? You could have X, y and Z, and you could have X, y and Z but you choose to do what you want to do I said, I can't. I'm not. And I do the DK line under now. I'm not gonna be here for all forever. I'm not always gonna be able to figure this out for y'all. But I said, you do what you want to do. I have my own life to live. And I said so. Not only am I physically not gonna be here one day, I'm going to go to Jesus. And then there's other days where I'm going to be touring with the love this podcast. I have things to do. I have my own dreams and goals that I have to attain to that I have to atone for and get. So when I go back to God, I can say I live my life to my photos. I used all my blessings. I use my voice. I use my platform. I use myself to the best ability to into better mankind, period. So I tell them like y'all gotta figure out what you're gonna do. It's not, you know, and sometimes they make it. They want to make it, you know, grand and like, no, start small. I'm not asking you to have your life planned at 11. 9 and 14, almost 15. And I'm just asking you to put something together that doesn't, you know, need so much outside validation. That's all I'm asking for. Cool. Anything else? Um, again, I like the tone of conversations that we have. I like the fact that they know they can come to me with their stuff, and it's not well, you know, it's not that I told you so or I'm telling you what to do. It's, you know, I like the way that we communicate, and it's teaching them to be better communicators outside of me. So they, you know, they know they can ask me, you know, hard questions. I think I was telling you where I told the podcast. You know, Gavin had asked me about something about situation, what was going on in our household, and I said, Listen, it's not that we don't love them, but I can't put the keys of my happiness in somebody else's pocket because one happiness is fleeting. Happiness is as long as as long as I serve you, how you want to be served, as long as I give you candy. As long as I give you money, as long as I give you my attention. Happiness is fleeting. Joy is what you need to see. Joy, because joy is eternal. Joy is something that cannot be tampered with. Joy is something that cannot be manipulated. Happiness is temporary. It's as long as everything's going great. Everything is grand. Then you're happy. Happiness is fleeting. So I said. But I said in that same vein, I can't put the keys of my happiness, the keys of my joy to somebody else because then they get to manipulate it and control it. And so he was like, You make a good point cakes And I was like, Why thank you? I do try to make sense in this life. And so that's teaching him at nine. That he doesn't need to depend on somebody else to make him happy. He has to go within and make sure that he's okay with who he is at nine. So when he's 19 and getting relationships, he ain't got to depend on nobody else. If somebody don't move him the way he wants to be moved, he's like effort. I'll keep it pushing. In fact, he's not looking for validation through right. So that's a beautiful thing to teach all kids, right? But if you listen to this teacher, kids like their life is not dependent upon who likes or dislikes them. There's a little meme out like I like myself. Your life is extra current has been quoting that lately you've got to send you back to tiktok rehab, so got to kick that habit. But I like that right? But I like myself. Your life is extra, and that's I think that's a golden rule of Golden Nugget that we really have to instill upon our impressionable kids like they're like, You gotta like your life is enough. Like I tell like me and my daughter and those are great, you know, actionable things that you didn't that you do with your kids. And hopefully that the listeners can, if they're not already doing, start to implement that right and not only implement that for their kids, because that was great advice for their own Selves, Right? Um, but one of the things I talked to Mama, and it's along the lines about liking yourself about loving yourself. So, you know, we have this whole debate about who loves who. More like, you know, I love you. I love you more like No, it's not impossible that you love me more. And then she's like, How you think that why you say that? Like I got a tattoo, you know, paying you homage until you get a tattoo like you never love. It's all fun and games, right? But I stopped one day and I told her like Like you know, you got to love you more. I said I claim to that. End of that has to be you. And outside of friends, public opinion, um, things you you have to love you. Whereas when things are not going your way or people that that's in your circle is not vibing with you the way that you think they should buy with you, your love has to be enough. Your love has to be at the beginning of the end all in your life. That's the first thing that I teach my daughter like that because it starts ends with you. You you have to be a leader and not a follower in all aspects of your life. Because what happens is you're gonna get around some people they're gonna say and do some things that you don't agree with. And then you will feel so either you're gonna feel I would play pressure by them saying things you're gonna feel inward pressure like I don't want to seem like the oddball out. So let me go along to get along and asked you guys to make that decision right then and there, because once you start going down that slippery slope to go along just to get along. You'll be doing that for the rest of your life, right? And looking back at my life, I've always been an odd duckling. Like I've always walked to the beat of my I've always write good, better and different I've always been And then people funk with me just because they know like they get they can be themselves like that's one of that And people are like, Well, what's your gift to life Like people Just don't mess with me. You can be. You can be you You don't gotta be tough. You don't gotta be smart. You can be however you is. I'm going to relate to you because I want to accept me for me as I'm definitely gonna accept you for you. I'm not gonna look down on you. I'm not gonna try to talk over your head. I'm not na. However you rock, we're gonna rock because it's just like accepting that person. So I'm getting my daughter to, you know, to that place. Whereas it doesn't matter. And then she'll say something right. And I think I give it to a little bit too much, cause sometimes she gets the point a little standoffish. So I'm trying to find that balance. I'm like, Look, Queen Sheba, like everybody's not at your foot through There's a balance here, right? So we we we're definitely working through that, right? So I want to definitely touch upon that what you have said and the three things that, um, I'm really trying to impress upon my child and anybody's business and and what I'm giving right. It's not only for kids like anybody, because we always talk about We want change, you know, like whether you want to be an entrepreneur or not. No matter what you want to be, you can change. That comes from if you're not satisfied with your current life, change has to come. If not, you're just talking. You're just happy being unhappy and you'll never like. The only way that you are happy is that you're unhappy, right? You take solace in your term role, and for somebody to come along to help you to change, you're going to reject that because you're happy being unhappy. So please press fast forward or wait till next podcast come out right because nothing I'm about to say is going to impact your life because you don't want your life to be impacted. Not a problem, right? So I think anybody It's one of these three things I give. Give give Mama on a regular basis. I tell her she she has to read at least 30 minutes a day. Right? You gotta and I'm not talking about because like she's she's big into, um, like the Harry Potter books. And there's somebody else that she's super huge on and come to me in a hot second. Um, Percy Jackson. She's She's really huge into those books, right? Like any time she get birthday money or, you know, she gets, you know, chores money, like, I promise you, I'll make her save, you know, a specific amount, but the rest She's ordering books like and she has her own little nook like she'll go get lost in her reading nook for hours, and I love that, but I tell her, Okay, that's cool, right? But you need to read something that's gonna be a little bit more impactful to your life. So for people that's listening, read 30 minutes a day, something is gonna be impactful to your life, right? Knowledge change like. And this is a quote. And Hurtt said, and you know, I'm pretty sure he didn't hurt. Somebody said, but, you know, knowledge changes situations. Once you become knowledgeable about something, your situation starts to change. You will have a different outlook on something, right? The way you perceive something is different now, you know, I mean, so when you apply that knowledge, then your world starts to change. Like you can be aware of something, right? It's cool. You're just aware of it. But once you start to apply it now, everything around you starts to change. People treat you differently. People interact with you. Different people can't just talk over your head like it don't happen like you like. No, no, no, no, no. I see what's going on, right? No matter what you you're investing your time into. So you have to apply what you're reading, right? And that goes to the second thing. Implement what you read. Like don't read for the sake of reading what happens is, you know, um, I was listening to forget my man. I don't. His name is Neil Davis. and he dropped his e book right, the same joint essential. And he said, I gave, I gave away, he said. He said he had his his mentors calling him up. I don't know how true the story is right, but I'm a I'm a air quote him on that. He said he had his mentors called him up because he gave away everything. Every the secrets, he said, and he gave away. He paid $1000 for his information, but he gave away the store front for $47. And so his mentors was like, Why in the world would you give everybody everything and then you would give it away at a discount price? He said, Listen up, and this is really true, he said. A very small fraction of the people even finished reading books. Think about it and I'm one of those people, right? I'm gonna keep it a buck like I get to the point like Like and I don't finish. And so my thing is to work on me because I'm 51. So the moves I make announced for the 55, not only when I will finish one project at a time and implement that project, right? Like, just finish what you started and implement that it will change your life, right? It will literally. If you just I read it that I'm gonna take this one nugget I got to I'm gonna finish reading this book, but let me go implement that right now and that one thing that you may go implement. Maybe that game changer. Maybe that life changes that you need. You know, I mean, to move your life forward to move the needle in your life. Forward, right. The third thing is, you know, um if you and this is for and and and and I guess, entrepreneur aspect because I tell Mama like either you can either you you will create businesses, whereas you can, like, manage them, like, you know, a little bit here and there, or you're going to work for somebody. If you want to be your own boss, then you have to learn to be of service to people because there's only two types of people in the world today. That is producers and consumers, that that's all it is. So either you're a producer, right? Or you're a consumer I like to think myself as a producer, right? If I don't produce nothing, you know, all modesty aside, me and my my beautiful co host, we we produce a great podcast every week. You don't get no best of you don't get, you know, highlights. Right. You get a new podcast every week, no matter what we're going through. And I promise you, we go through a lot in our personal lives. Sometimes we talk about it, sometimes we don't. So I look at myself as a producer, right? And the more that you produce, that means what happens. People are gonna consume. You know your message people are gonna consume, You know, your your services, people gonna consume your content. And then you learn how to monetize that. And once again, because of, you know, you're reading something. You're applying that, you know. I mean, you're producing now you're changing your life to give those nuggets, and I know I'm talking about, so I'm almost done. I promise you that. But to give those nuggets to our kids today, right? I promise you changes the future, changes the trajectory like we always talking about the world needs to change we need to do. We talk, we talk a lot. But if you just did one simple thing change what goes on in your household and you change the world because it starts in your house The way that you talk to your kids the way that the seeds that you put it, it starts in the house. Would you expose your kids to starts? And like I love my mother. I love my aunt God bless and wrestling out of D. C. You know, southeast with the f. You know, I mean born and reared, not raised. Cattle is raised, people are reared. We're talking about that later look. And so my aunt understood that. Let me expose. I'm in d C. I never once in a blue moon we might take a field trip down. Right? But she understood. I'm gonna take my nephew and her kids well on my mom, and we're gonna see other things outside of Southeast d c. We got to see the posh neighborhoods. We got to see the monument, and it's not It's nothing to me because I lived here like it