Silver Sky by J.D. Allen
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Chapter 11. Like most people suffering from the same affliction. She had her good days and her bad days for Dottie Olson. The day of her death began as a good one. She didn't waste any time spent looking for the ladybug slippers that she never owned. And she did not once ask her husband to take her out dancing. Glenn made breakfast, bacon, toast eggs over easy. And daddy drank her glass of tomato juice happily with a smile on her face rather than back handing it against the kitchen wall in a rage. Glenn still had to remind her to take small bites and chew her food. Odd. The thing she sometimes forgot. Strange how many of them reduced her back into a state of childhood. But otherwise she seemed pretty sharp that day pretty with it on the radio by the toaster. Jeffrey Osborne sang on the Wings of Love. Glenn turned off the radio. Let's go into the bedroom and have a talk. Glynn said after they finished eating their breakfast and he had cleared the plates into the sink. Glenn led his wife by the hand into their bedroom. He sat on the bed, he closed the bedroom door and then he took his seat on the edge of the bed beside her. I've been wanting to talk to you. He hesitantly began. I've just been waiting for when it would be a good time for you. A good time for you to understand what I'm saying and hopefully remember it. Well, you can always talk to me, sweetheart. She replied sweetly smiling, her reassurance any time at all. Always whatever. I know. I know he stammered. He swallowed her hand. You see, what is it? Honey. Her smile faded into an expression of concern. Well, I've been worried daddy. He said his words suddenly pouring out of him. Worried about you, worried about us right now. There's a lot of talk on the news about trouble in the world and I've been really worried about you getting out and getting lost out there and right now out there is a scary place and I glen, I'm not going anywhere. Her smile returned to reassure. Not without you. Anyway. What's all of this about? Well, pause. We haven't talked about it much but pause. But would you please just tell me what's bothering you? She begged, you're starting to scare me. He took a deep breath and then he let it all out. We haven't talked about it much daddy, but you've been getting quite forgetful lately and I'm just afraid of losing you. There's this thing going on right now where people who are getting forgetful, are getting lost in the world and I don't want to lose you. I'm afraid of you getting out of the apartment by yourself and then forgetting how to get back to me. I'm afraid of. You just drifting off from me. Drifting off to where I can't get you back. I can't keep an eye on you all of the time. I'm trying to do my best to keep up with everything and take care of you too. And I'm just exhausted all the time and now I've got to worry about what's going on in the world and you getting lost in it. I worry so much about you getting out of the house and not being able to find your way back. And what little time I have to sleep. I can't sleep anymore. And I'm just so worried about tears, interrupted his words and he buried his head in her lap. Honey, I promise. She said, hugging him. I won't go anywhere without you. He sat up and looked into her eyes. But when you're in one of your bad days, you, you might forget. He said you might forget and you might decide to go out even just out front and then forget your way back or worse. You could just drift away. I can't lose you daddy. She took his hand in hers. All I can do is try and remember she whispered, all I can do is try. He opened his mouth but said nothing. And I promised to try my best. She promised and she forced her reassuring smile to return. Other than that, I don't know what more we can do. He looked away from her. Well, pause, there's one thing, pause. I hear people are doing. If there's anything I can do to help reassure you and give you some peace of mind so you can get your sleep again. I wish you'd just tell me what it is. Sweetheart. Not interrupted, Glen Clare destroyed daddy. It's hard to talk about. He replied, I love you so much and I'll do anything to keep you here safe with me. And well, he stood up, be down, reached under the bed and pulled out the coil of rope. He had just purchased the other day at Ace Hardware. He sat back down on the bed next to his wife with it in his lap. I didn't come up with this idea myself. He whispered, still not looking at her. Other people started doing it first. I don't know if it works, but if you're willing to try it, well, like I said, I do anything to keep you here safe. You want to tie me down? Do he asked her? Smile is slipping. No, not tied down. Glenn, quickly corrected. You'll be able to walk around the whole apartment as freely as always. But now if you started to float, if you start to wonder away, there's a chance to keep you here. Daddy said nothing. Glynn used the moments of her thoughtful silence to work up the nerve to slowly return his gaze, to meet her eyes. I would never ask this of you if it wasn't important. He said if you don't want to do it, I'll never bring it up again. But I hope you'll consider this. I think it could give us some peace of mind that he continued saying nothing for quite a while. Then she released her husband's hands and placed her own on his face. If this is what we need to do to make this easier for you. She said that I'm happy to do it moments later with tears in his eyes. He had one end of the rope tied around the foot of the heavy oak bed and the other end tied around the ankle of the wife with whom he shared that pet. He made a cuff out of a section of a furry steering wheel cover for her to wear around her ankle to help prevent rope burns. And she tried to reassure him that she was in no discomfort but his tears continued when she was securely tethered. They sat on the edge of the bed in silence until Glenn's tears abated. Wanna play cards. Daddy suddenly asked, breaking the silence, breaking the tension. Glenn hiccupped something that always happened to him. On the rare occasions when he shed tears, they looked at each other and then they laughed for several seconds lost in the absurdity of it all. And then they return to the kitchen together, hand in hand, Dottie, dragging the slack of rope behind her every footstep. They sat at their kitchen table playing cards listening to the radio by the toaster Glenn lost more hands than usual. He spent most of his time glancing away from his cards to look guiltily at the serpentine line of rope snaking away from his wife's foot across the once white now yellowing linoleum covered floor out the door. The other end out of sight, I'll make us some hot cocoa. He said laying down his cards rising from the table trying to step away from the guilt he felt I'd like marshmallows duty requested that childish quality in her voice that sometimes signaled the onset of confusion, faintly evident. Glenn went to the pantry and retrieved the container of powdered chocolate. He pulled two cups from the cupboard and a spoon from the silverware drawer, taking a carton of milk from the refrigerator. He prepared their cups of cocoa and placed them in the microwave oven for a brief warm-up. When he turned back to face his wife, he could clearly see the change in her eyes while the day may have begun a good one for Dotty, it did not remain. So she was standing in the doorway of the kitchen leading into the living room looking back at him with terror and confusion in her eyes. She was fleeing in terror and when their eyes made contact with each other, she screamed and ran across the living room to the door that led to the outside world. Beyond help me, Carol, help me. She screamed as she fumbled with the locks. Glenn ran after his wife and caught her just as she was opening the front door. Honey, it's ok. It's me. He reassured daddy screamed. He's got me tied up Carol. Help me help me. Her words stabbed his heart like a verbal dagger. He's going to kill me. Help that ripped it open how he covered her mouth with his hand. He pulled her away from the front door onto the sofa. He turned her head by force until they were eye to eye dotty. Listen to me. He held her gently as she struggled. I'm not trying to kill you. I love you. I am your husband. He grabbed the rope that was tied around his wife's ankle with his free hand and he shook it gently. Maybe I shouldn't have put this on you but it was for your own good. You agreed to wear it. I'm not trying to keep you here in a bad way. I'm trying to keep you here safe. You're not a hostage. You're my wife. I love you and you love me. You have to try and remember all this. Can you try for me? Can you try and remember he removed his hand from her mouth. Daddy screamed Carol. She called Carol help help me. He's got me. Carol's dead. He blurted out she's dead. She's gone. She died a little girl. She died a long time ago. She's dead and she's gone. And you have to remember that he had lost control and he was screaming at her. He caught himself and stopped. Daddy's expression, changed realization dropped into sadness, awareness into devastation. Her shoulder slumped, the tension in her posture, drained her eyelids drooped and her jaw went slack. Carol's dad. She whispered in recognition. I'm sorry, daddy. I don't know why. I said that. I didn't want to hurt you. I, she burst into tears. He pulled her into his arms and held her. I will never let you go. He whispered, they sat on the sofa the rest of the morning hugging each other crying when the tears stopped. Dotty's eyes began to fade. Let's go take a nap. Glynn sighed. Mhm.