Note: Transcripts are generated using speech recognition software and may contain errors.
Well, where ladies and gentlemen seems like it's that time again. It's about midnight. So, uh, it's time for the Midnight Madness this week. Well, you'll just have to find out. Uh huh. Ah, sure. I'm glad to be out here in the middle of nowhere. Roswell, New Mexico. Sure is a change of pace from that hectic New York lifestyle. Um, man, I can even crack a beer on the job because no one is around. This is the life. Wait. What? What's that? Just get my flashlight on it and get got. No, I damn badgers. I thought there were only supposed to be armadillos around here. Oh, well. Ah, nothing exciting ever happens here. I swear, a meteor could fall out of the sky, and I would probably be the only one that would notice. Holy crap. Ah! Ah! Beautiful. Naked women would fall out of the sky, and I would be the only one here. Damn, it never works. Well, it was kind of a small explosion for a frickin meteor. Did you get to do that? Did you do? Yeah. It's the strangest looking meteor I've ever seen. Kind of looks like Wow. I think I think these air alien, uh, talk and and and speak English. Of course. It's not like we haven't been here before. You. You've been here before? Well, yeah. We were here about 60 to 70 revolutions of your son ago. You mean that really were aliens at Roswell? Yes. And your government doesn't want to knowing because otherwise it would cause a worldwide meltdown of all your economies. That would be bad for you. Well, touche. Have you been here before that? Well, we haven't specifically. Butlers have visited your planet in the past. The Aborigines new and made drawings as well as various others of your kind Neanderthals. I think you called them well. How? Ah, how do you know how to speak English? We have universal translators attached to the base. If I thought next disease, that's how you can understand us. And we can understand you. We've got the basics of your language in the U. Many encounters we've had with your people. Well, what do you want? A friend of ours landed nearby. May have crash landed. In fact, have you seen him? Well Ah, all I saw was ah badger a few minutes ago. Why? Well, we've had a malfunction and need to repair our equipment. If there's anybody else for my recount force than we can get the necessary parts re kon force. That doesn't sound good. It's ah, just am an expeditionary thing. Anyway. Look, we're not here to hurt you. We just want to find out, comrade. Well Ah, you can always check out that field at the end of town. There's been talk that recently some weird things been going on there. We'll start there. Well, here we are. But, uh, there's nothing here. Well, that's because it's probably made out to be that way. I wonder if there's anything that we can see it. Usual indentations along the ground. Probably because there's a cloaked ship and just some minor modifications of my universal remote control. A deep be and, uh, they knew it. This looks like the work of Zelda. Ah, Zelda are he's kind of a weird guy. He lives with his whole family in one spaceship when he really doesn't need Teoh, and he just kind of goes around the galaxy and looks for exotic herbs, spices, various radioactive things and novelties. Well, what's he doing here? Hello, everyone. What can I do for you, Zelda? That you? It is you. I thought you were out near some supernova. I was out there getting some really cool radioactive stuff. But then I just needed some time to sit down and think about what to do with it. Well, look, we're in trouble. Our equipment malfunction. Didn't we need some of your spare parts to fix it? Sorry. Can't help you. What? Well, well, why not been stuck here myself for a while. I landed in a field of green leafy trees. Looked kind of odd to me. Anyway, they got in the engines and come them up. Been stuck here ever since. Well, didn't you try and take it off or something? I did. But whenever I trying to use my laser removal system, it would just heat up and smoke would come out that I just kind of forgot what I was doing and felt good. That is weird. Well, it looks like the invasion of Earth will just have to wait. Wait, wait. Invasion? Why it? He doesn't know. Yeah, whatever. This plant in the engine is pretty nifty. Though I've made clothes and various things out of it. Well, all right. I suppose the invasions waited this long. I guess it could wait another few galactic revolutions. Ah. What are we gonna do about him? Don't worry. No one knows anything, and none of his guide will believe him. Just let him go. Besides, we've got plenty for you in here who I did. I, uh But who? Okay, I think I'm gonna go back to New York. Less action there. Moral of the story. There's no place like home more madness right now.