Satirical Mattress Store Ad
Description
Vocal Characteristics
Language
EnglishVoice Age
Young Adult (18-35)Accents
North American (General)Transcript
Note: Transcripts are generated using speech recognition software and may contain errors.
Today we are so excited to announce the prospective opening of our very first brick and mortar establishment. The word of the day mattress store. We've got high quality mattresses at competitive prices, plus free set up in delivery and a sleep like a baby money back guarantee. But if we're being honest, a lot of mattress stores offer these things. I mean, it's a very competitive market place, and it's really difficult to differentiate yourself in this year industry. But here's what we have that the other guys don't You see, we believe here at the word of the day mattress store that the key to a great night's sleep isn't memory foam, resilient springs or anti sack support for your neck and back. No, we think a farm or important factor is a clean conscience, one that's totally devoid of feelings of compunction. You see if you're heading to bed with the knowledge that you wrong someone or you have remorse about how you've acted or things you've said, Well, get ready for a whole lot of tossing and turning, even if you've got the best mattress money can buy. That's why when you come down to the word of the day mattress showroom. I mean, sure, you'll see some mattresses here and there, and they'll be nice enough, I guess. But you'll also see our in house team of trained therapists, conflict resolution experts, mediators and chaplains, all of whom are standing ready to ask you a Siris of probing questions about the true reasons for your restless nights. And now, perhaps you could find the peaceful slumber you seek not through built in gel pods that keep you cool even on hot summer nights, but rather through reconciliation with estranged friends and family, through facing your mistakes and coming to terms with your past.