Lessons From a Shit Talker
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Vocal Characteristics
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EnglishVoice Age
Middle Aged (35-54)Accents
North American (General)Transcript
Note: Transcripts are generated using speech recognition software and may contain errors.
Chapter one Growing up, I am the son the only child of Willie and Betsey johnson reflecting on the memories of these amazing parents. They were the epitome of sacrifice. Like most parents are while my parents were not rich, they made sure I had all they could give and sometimes even more than that, my father was a gym teacher on the Newark board of Education and my mother was a secretary at the Newark museum. My father was always looking for a way to stretch his entrepreneurial spirit. At one point he owned rental properties and pay phones Until I was about 13. My father owned a few multi family dwellings in Newark when one of the properties burned down the city refused to allow him to rebuild. The entire street was labeled as a bad area and speed bumps were put in place to keep the drug dealers and car thieves from racing up the street and getting away. I never felt unsafe in Newark going through the city, none of his properties are there any longer. It's weird today going through Newark and thinking of it as unsafe. Such a contrast from when I was growing up, I knew that it was vastly different from the suburbia cultists act that I grew up in scotch plains, New Jersey and different. It's always fun to some degree when you're a kid, one of my first lessons in life came from new york. My father was a football coach and during the late summer's weekdays were filled with practice. I would either go to my aunt's house who lived right down the street from the school or I would go with my father and watch the team practice one day I was bored tossing the football in the air. Some kids came and asked me if I wanted to play bell. Of course I did. Are you kidding me? I was the only kid my age, we made teams in the first place. The kids threw a long pass and ran off with the football laughing, I just stood there unsure of what had just transpired. The young delinquent stole the football and I got my *** handed to me. My father always told me not to trust anyone. Unfortunately I was a gullible kid and my mother always told me that not everyone is your friend. Even if someone is smiling, this person isn't always your friend words. I will always keep in my mind today, I'm still gullible on some level, but I always hope that people see that I'm being honest with them and that they return that honesty sadly, in this world, most people are full of ships, so much so that people will believe liars and people who play games versus people who are just honest. This is true in friendships dating work or any kind of relationship that is about interaction. Trust me, the majority of people will find a way to screw you. Some will say this is a sad way to look at the world. The reality is that it's truthful. No matter how you chalk it up, it's foolish to think that everyone is going to give you back what you give them In business. If you make $1 million, the people at the top are making $10 million. If you don't think of the world this way, then you will get led by ******** every day. You will always assume that people are doing right by you. I was very fortunate and blessed to go to school in scotch plains with a pit stop at a catholic school in mountainside. Growing up in my town during the 80s and 90s, to be fair, was not what you have seen in the movies, but very much an experience. Most can't understand the stark difference. If you ask some non black residents, they might tell you something vastly different than someone who is black. Many non blacks take an issue with accepting the experience of blacks. Either way, I chalk it up to being a ship talking person from day one there's not a time where I can remember not talking sh it to people. **** I've even got my *** beat a few times. There was no bullying back then or maybe we just didn't know what bullying was now, it's not that I grew up in a tough neighborhood. I grew up in a predominantly black neighborhood in a predominantly white italian heritage town, reflecting back most black people lived in Jersey land downtown Kramer manner and if you were sprinkled in some of the more affluent neighborhoods For the most part, we were in three locations. By the time I hit freshman year, all the black people knew each other. We made up only about 5% of the school's population. We have the block. The block was the midsection of the school in urban areas, people would be out on the block in the street, hanging out in our school. It was a place to meet up before school between classes and after school. It was there we would congregate and it was mostly people of color. Everybody knew about the block, even the white kids and everything, water fountain, few trash cans and a telephone booth. It was also right next to the entrance of the girls locker room. Now who created the block to be right next to the girl's locker room, you would tell people to meet you at the block. Most of the cool kids hung out there. I was a pastor buyer of the block. I knew most of the people there and they knew me. Unfortunately I wasn't cool enough to be hanging out on the block. Matter of fact, I got my *** whipped a few times on the block for thinking that I was one of the cool kids. Now we had some racist teachers, administrators and kids when you are black. This is a reality you live and that's a sad thing. Most non blacks don't get, we knew that our skin color did not define who we were, but did anyone else growing up, I had the most beautiful life any child could ask for, I can't think or imagine asking for more. My parents were from the segregated south while they worked among whites outside of work. They really had no white friends. It was basically all black family and friends. It's hard to break a chain of what you know, majority of your life, no matter who you are. My parents always had this thing, Don't you embarrass me in front of these white folks today? Most people would say that my mother and father were racist. Yet that notion comes from not understanding segregation in the effects mentally it had on the victims of it. I hate to use the word victim. People always accuse blacks of claiming to be victims when they talk about being treated fairly. It's always a default line. Stop playing victim. It's what I heard from people I perceived to be cool. Wait, who called me a friend personally, I was shocked when Obama was elected. Let's get real The same folks calling me a victim did not want to vote for a black man to lead our country growing up. I was always acting out and pretending to be fictional characters. I love making people laugh. It was an internal organic feeling. Think about the following for a second. Oftentimes we discourage kids from doing things, fearing the consequences in the long run. This is true, especially when their parents think about something that is so far out of reach for their Children. They don't know how to get them involved minus a few black people. We saw on tv during the seventies and eighties. We did not see many black entertainment nowadays. When people say, what about this actor or that actor, we don't realize that these old school actors were coming from acting schools or vaudeville. The best example of this phenomenon is Michael Jackson, whose father saw the talent of his boys and said, we're gonna make money on this. I'm the son of Willie johnson. Willie Johnson's father passed away when he was 14, Willy graduated from high school and went into the army, a segregated army. Willie johnson marched for civil rights. He played football for Allen University and was a teacher. He pushed books. That was his plan. For me. It wasn't a bad plan. Always tested off the charts. Mouth. On the other hand, math is some function. I hated Math. Math to me was like chlamydia, you can get cleared of it, but it will always come back if you mess with the wrong one. When I was in school, you had to at least get up to Algebra one who in the world uses algebra daily. I know my black as don't X two plus X three equals 25. I know that 10 plus five equals 25 But that X two and X three function can kick rocks if you're not a stockbroker, financial services, structural or civil engineer or any engineer for that matter. **** I'll even throw in. Science, algebra is some straight funk ****, prove me wrong. Don't worry in my cat Williams voice, I'll wait. My father was always on my case about my grades. He was big on discipline, which in reality was a good thing today. People would say we should not spank our kids ********. Kids need a whipping from time to time. People never look at the reality that spanking is never really hurt anyone. Look at me, I turned out fine as whippings and all the problem with the mentality of not spanking is people think you can reason with kids. Yes, some kids can reason with, But some kids need an ax whooping. When I was eight years old, my father told me to get changed from his pocket. It took 75 cents extra for myself when he asked me about it, I lied, he whipped my *** and for good reason It might have only been 75 cents, but that was his money and not for me to take even during a whipping. Well after, since Dorner as whipping. Most parents are too into the as whipping to talk to you, he said if you wanted 75 cents, all you had to do was ask for it, a great lesson I should have learned at that point, but I was a knucklehead. So much so I stole from him again. Later in my teenage years wanting to fit in. See my mother and father were not tech savvy. Like I was naturally, it made no difference What the technology was. I could figure it out. I had a job and was making money. I wanted more money and I was being greedy. I wanted to be a baller and I have nice clothes and spend money. This is when a Tms appeared and one could withdraw money from a credit card. I took my father's credit card a few times and withdrew money. What a moron. I made a terrible thief. A TMS had cameras as a security feature. My father called the credit card company when he saw the withdrawals on the bill. I had to confess to taking the money since I was older, my father did not physically discipline me instead he took the car away and grounded me. I think that I was ashamed of myself more than anything. In reality my conundrum came from a selfish aspect, not thinking nor respecting my parents sometimes we don't realize how much we hurt those who love us the most by simply being ignorant to the things that we do. My parents always had my back. Oftentimes I believe they had my back way too much. My father used to say he should have let the police take me away and see how much I liked it. I was a troubled kid with no direction and no goals just floating through life. I think I had always known I wanted more, I wanted to be that guy on tv. I wanted to be someone famous yet I didn't know how to be famous, I didn't understand the work that it took, There was no one step. What was amazing? Was that anything that was remotely close to being in front of people? I was always good at public speaking class Tv class, even in distributed clubs of America deca. When I signed up for modeling, I came in the top 16, I had confidence on stage, I knew the stages where I wanted to be when I was on stage in front of a camera, I came to light naturally go figure when we reflect on who we are. It all starts in our youth very rarely do we stray from the habits we started when we were young, these are absolutes, especially if bad habits go unchecked. My father was a disciplinarian and my mother was my consigliere. E I was always an independent free thinker to be fair. I would have done better in art school. Do you remember the Tv show fame? I would watch that show in amazement. It seems more involved and less watch repeat and sit on your ask for extra many hours. I hated being stuck at a damn desk to this day. I hate it. A desk in four walls is death to me. I've worked in I. T. At Verizon wireless equal lab, General mills, United Healthcare and Target. Target was one of my best jobs ever. It combined my personal skills with my technical skills. It did not feel like work honestly. It felt like fixing a computer for a friend versus fixing a computer for a ******* who's clueless about which one is a monitor and which one is the actual pc. I'm always shocked at the amount of moronic fools there are out there. Ultimately though, No desk or four walls has ever felt like the right place for me. Some years after high school I went to school at the very college of technology. I figured that I would always have a text skills for the rest of my life. This to be fair has helped me in many endeavors immensely more than working for any of the big employers ever did. Corporate America is built for non creative people who want to rely on a consistent check And are okay with the daily grind of 9-12 hours per day. That's what it takes for you to become successful as a man of color in corporate America. You must outwork your white counterparts and never ever offer up a problem. That's just the reality that many don't understand. I recall working on a service desk at equal lab. For those of you who don't know what a service desk is. A service desk is. A communications center that provides a single point of contact Spock if you will between the company and its consumers. I recall working on a service desk at equal lab for those of you who do not know what a service desk is. A Service desk is a communications center that provides a single point of contact Spock if you will between the company and its customers. Whoever those customers, maybe the purpose of the service desk is to ensure the users receive support in a timely manner. I remember working at equal lab as if it was yesterday. I started there in September 5, 2005. It was my first full time job after I uprooted and moved to Minnesota. Most of the people working on a service desk were locals, Minnesota's love being passive aggressive Minnesota, ice Minnesota Nice. The midwest is very different than what I knew growing up. Most of the white people who I came into contact early on did not have much contact with people of color. Culturally Minnesota and New Jersey were night and day experiences. It was amazing how comfortable people felt talking down to me when I made a mistake Yet at the same time demanded respect for me. one morning I took a call. I can't recall what the call was in reference to, but I recall the exchange between me and the other service that's agent. One morning I took a call. I can't remember what the call was in reference to. But I recall the exchange between me and the other service desk agent either missed a step or miss documented something. The young lady turned to me and openly shouted, if you're gonna do it, do it right in a very nasty tone. I spun around to her and said don't you ever speak to me like that again While she kept complaining. I told her that I don't give a damn about what she thinks she had a problem with me. She could speak to me personally and not make a scene. You see minnesotans are very nonconfrontational. They smile to your face while snitching behind your back to anyone willing to listen coworker, supervisor, manager, directing manager of another department. Suffice to say we lived and died by a reputation and not by a work ethic in Minnesota's version of corporate America. Now that's not to say that I was the best employee ever. However, in my experience, assertive black people, men especially were not welcome in corporate America. Head down, do the job seen but not heard was the desired black employee growing up where I did and my experience with people taught me to speak up and not allow anyone to speak to me in any demeaning manner as I got older and began working more and more in corporate offices. Things got worse and had a direct negative impact on my personal life. A lot of people think they can embarrass someone, especially a lot of white people not accustomed to dealing with people of color from the East Coast. When I was giving my opinion in a meeting and a coworker interrupted me. Nobody told him to let me finish. When I returned the favor, I was told to let him finish, which again made my back straighten up and pay attention to how I was treated differently than others. I recall a meeting I had with the manager of the service desk. I told her that I didn't think that I was being treated fairly, she said or should I say asked me if I felt like I was being picked on her words, not mine. I said that I just didn't think my coworkers had the level of respect for me to help me grow. A few weeks later I was having lunch with an assistant supervisor and a few other colleagues. I made a comment and the supervisor said under breath, almost like you were being picked on. Huh? It was a deliberate commentary Minnesota, nice Minnesota ice. The corporate world of Minnesota was probably the worst work experience of my life and made me realize that my personality was not meant for this arena. Don't get me wrong, I could work any corporate job for a good 2-3 years. However, I have never seen myself as a corporate America guy, none of my friends believe me to be that guy. It's not a good fit. One thing about me is that I am confident in who I am. My insecurity came from thinking that this is all I will ever be well. I hope to aspire to be a manager here and maybe one day become a branch manager. That's not what I saw for myself. I give credit to those people who can be desk jockeys and excels at the mundane daily tasks. Many of my friends are tied to a desk and they are beyond successful. I also know they are not like me, outspoken and willing to tell people to go **** themselves when pushed another time when I put in a ticket, I made a mistake. A young lady in a very belittling tone told me to get it right out loud in front of everyone. I was living in Minnesota, but I'm Jersey through and through, I ripped her a new one. Who does she think she was talking down to me? She in turn said that she felt threatened. A future caring. This is what I mean by people will **** you! Given the chance. I never threatened her and my words weren't meant to be mean. I simply demanded that she could give me the same respect I had given her. Unfortunately in Minnesota's corporate America, people could get away with being ****** to others. If you respond, you will always be the bad person, it's ingrained in their system to be assholes at some level. Ad underlying racism and the color of my skin. And I had a recipe for disaster on my hands in New Jersey. On the other hand, I would have had to swear at my colleague in order to be reprimanded. I recall meeting with the division manager and telling him the frustration I had, he closed the door to his office and said Markland, do you know why we hired you? We hired you because you were, to be fair, the smartest candidate with the highest potential of all applicants. I remember interviewing for that job during the interview, when a manager left the office, I read his notes, candidate was was too confident and seem defensive when answering questions. Why in his mind could a black man not be confident in himself? How can someone be too confident? I had experience and knowledge and was proud to show it off. This is a reality most black people have to deal with when encountering ignorance. Black people can't be too confident since confidence to perceived as threatening. You must be humble. I'm the son of William Betsey johnson and they raised me to be the man who believed in himself During interviews, there was no shaking me after every interview, I always got the job, I knew my ship and in the world of technical abilities. That is what matters to clarify my skill set, Associates degree in information technology, technically sound great interpersonal skills speaks clearly A K sounds white, great potential. The words that haunt me to this day, what always got me in trouble was my mouth. I mean, let's be honest, I don't care. Or should I say I could give to fox about what people think. Now the reality is, I really do care, We all do, it's all about wanting to be accepted for who you are. Yet the sad reality is that what worked for me is a **** you, I don't care mentality, there is an inner strength that you get when you figure out who you are, when you allow others to define you, you will always be the voice they gave you. Most people find comfort in that I love saying that I'm an ******* who talks ****, being the ******* who talked sh it keeps people at bay, ironically, when people expect an ******* who talk ****, they're stuck on stupid when they see you are way more than that limited description. In 46 years, I have failed more than I have succeeded. I've watched my friends live their best lives but remain miserable because they hated their jobs. I have wallowed in misery because I hate doing open mics. I constantly feel like I'm spinning the hamster wheel and possibly never becoming my best me. A few years ago, I made a choice to follow my dream, I created a podcast, started doing stand up and became a public speaker, Everything was always within my grasp. But I needed to go through the pain and misery to learn valuable lessons to realize what was there all along through all the misery and pain. There were lessons no famous person can teach you if you listen to your parents and they're being real parents, you can learn tough lessons. Some of these lessons might not make sense because to be fair, our experiences in life with sex, race, age, religion, region, etcetera, lessons are just that lessons are meant for us to grow and become a better self. Markland T. Johnson, a K. A. Mr Direct, is the creator producer, host of mister directs real talk. He's an aspiring stand up comedian and host of live events. His goal is to have a nationally syndicated show where he could share his crazy with the world. It's just real talk baby.