Peanut Butter and Brains by Joe McGee

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Not Yet Rated


A reading of one of my daughters' favorite stories. A charming tale of a zombie who is a little different than the rest of the horde. We should all be a little more like Reginald.

Vocal Characteristics




North American (General)


Note: Transcripts are generated using speech recognition software and may contain errors.
peanut butter and brains. A zombie culinary tail. Reginald was not like the other zombies. The other zombies want brains for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Not Reginald. All Reginald wanted was a peanut butter and jelly sandwich brains. Mon dieu, zombie horde shuffling through the streets of quirk fell wherever the zombies went. People ran screaming in fear nobody wanted their brains eaten, not for breakfast, not for lunch, not even for dinner. Reginald didn't shuffle with them. His stomach grumbled and growled and all he could do was dream about a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Sweet jolly, moaned Reginald, sticky peanut butter, No brain. The other zombies ask, no brains said Reginald. Peanut butter and jelly. The other zombies shook their head. If you tried peanut butter and jelly, said Reginald, you'd never want brains again. But the zombies just shambles off. Reginald went to the corner cafe and tried to order a sandwich, but the man behind the counter shook his head and pointed to a sign. No zombies allowed. He tried the school cafeteria, but the lunch lady slapped a hunk of meat loaf on his tray. Instead, it looked an awful lot like brains. Reginald even tried Officers grocery when Oscar rang up the loaf of bread, the peanut butter and strawberry jelly. Reginald couldn't pay. Sorry, said Oscar, paying customers only Reginald left the store and his groceries Behind Across the street stood little abigail zinc. The smartest girl in Kirksville. She carried a lunch bag in her hand. Reginald recognized the familiar jelly stain that was sleeping through the paper bag. Peanut butter and jelly. He moaned. The zombie horde shuffled and shambles around the corner brains, they moaned, licking their lips at the sight of little abigail zinc. The townspeople froze in their tracks, including the mayor and his prancing poodle. Suddenly little abigail zinc dropped the bag holding her peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Reginald lurched forward and seize. He raised the jelly stained bag to his lips, he could practically taste the delicious sticky peanut butter and sweet strawberry jelly, Little abigail zinc let out a shriek, the mayor's poodle yip and yap, and the townspeople all screamed, Yeah, if the other zombies could just smell the peanut butter, Reginald thought, if they could just taste the sweet jelly brains! Cried Reginald, holding up the peanut butter and jelly sandwich brains, Mon dieu, zombies reaching for the sandwich. Reginald threw it into the crowd of drooling zombies when the zombies tore into the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, their eyes lit not brains, they said, licking their lips yummy better than brains. The zombies rub their bellies and the townspeople smiled. Why? They're just hungry, declared the mayor and peanut butter and jelly does the trick. Peanut butter and jelly did do the trick, the zombies no longer wanted brains and the townspeople were no longer afraid of the zombies. Soon zombies were a regular part of cork ville. They collected the garbage, walked the dogs and swept the streets. They were happy to help and even happier to be paid in peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. But Reginald still wasn't like the other zombies because while they were enjoying their peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, Reginald had moved on to pizza.