The Lion and Albert

Profile photo for Stephen Holloway
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Description

A well known humorous monologue from the music hall era of British entertainment. It showcases humour and a regional accent (Lancashire)

Vocal Characteristics

Language

English

Voice Age

Middle Aged (35-54)

Accents

British (England - Liverpool, Manchester, Lancashire, Cheshire) British (General)

Transcript

Note: Transcripts are generated using speech recognition software and may contain errors.
The Lion and Albert by Maria Tecca, Read by Steven Holloway. There's a famous seaside place called Blackpool that's noted for fresh air and fun. Mr and Mrs Ramsbottom went. There were young Albert there soon a grand little lad were young Albert, all dressed in his best. Quite a swell with a stick with a horse's head handle the finest. That wall was cancelled. They didn't think much to the ocean. The waves. They was fiddling and small. There were no wrecks and nobody drowned it fat. Nothing to laugh at it all. So, seeking for further amusement, they're paired and went into the zoo with it. Lions and tigers and camels and old ale and sandwiches, too. There were one great big lion called Wallace. His nose were all covered in scars lay in a somnolent posture with the side of his face on the bars. Now Albert had heard about lions. How there was ferocious and wild to see Wallace lying, sir. Peaceful. Well, it didn't seem right to the child. So straight way the brave little fella not showing a morsel of fear. Talk is stick with resources that handle and pushed it in. Wallace is here, you could see that the line didn't like it for giving a kind of a raw. He pulled Albert inside, gauge with him and swallowed the little lad. All then Power, who had seen the occurrence on, didn't know what to do next, said Mullah. He on lines at Albert. A mother said, Well, I am vexed then Mr and Mrs Ramsbottom, quite rightly, when all said and done, complained to the animal keeper that the lion had eaten there soon. The keeper was quite nice about it, he said. What a nasty mishap. Are you sure it's your boy's eaten and pass it? Um, I sure there's his cab The manager had to be sent for. He came and he said, What's to do? Pass it? Young lions that Albert and a mini suddenly best, too. Then Mother said, Rights, Right, young fella, I think it's a shame and a sin for a lion to go and eat Albert on after we've paid to come in. The manager wanted nor trouble. It took out his purse right away, saying how much to settle the matter and pass it. What do you usually pay? But Mother had turned a bit awkward when she thought, Where are Albert had gone? She said, No, Someone's got to be summoned. So that was decided upon. Then off they went to the police station in front of the magistrate chap. They told him what happened to Albert and proved it by showing his cap. The magistrate gave his opinion that no one was really to blame, and he said that he hoped the Rams bottoms would have further sons to their name. That mother got proper blazing hand. Thank you, sir. Kindly said she What Waste all our lives Raising Children to feed Roddy Lions, not may.