The Egg by Andy Weirs
Description
Vocal Characteristics
Language
EnglishVoice Age
Young Adult (18-35)Accents
North American (General)Transcript
Note: Transcripts are generated using speech recognition software and may contain errors.
Hi. I'm so then and I'll be reading the egg by nd via you were on your way home when you're died. It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two Children. It was a painless death. The empties tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered. You were better off. Trust me. And that's when you met me. What? What happened? You asked. Where am I? You died, I said matter of factly. No pointing missing words, though. There was a truck and it was kidding. And yup, I said I died. Yep. But don't feel bad about it. Everyone dies. I said you looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. What is this place? Us. Is this after life? More or less, I said, Are you God? You asked? Yep. I replied, I'm God. My kids. My wife. You said, What about them? Well, they will be all right. That's what I like to see. I said he just died. And your main concern is for your family. That's good stuff. Right there. You looked at me with fascination. to you. I didn't look like God. I just looked like some men or possibly a woman. Some big authority figure, maybe more of a grammar school teacher than the Almighty. Don't worry, I said. They'll be fine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn't have time to grow contempt for you. Your wife will cry on the outside, but she will be secretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If it's any consolation, she'll feel very guilty or feeling relieved. Oh, you said. So what happens now? So I go to heaven or **** or something? Neither. I said, You'll be reincarnated. Oh, he said. So the Hindus were right. All religions are writing their own way. I said Work with me. You followed along as we strode through the void. Where we going? Nowhere in particular, he said. It's just nice to walk while we talk. So what's the point? Then? You asked. When I get reborn, I'll just be a blank slate a baby. So all my experiences and everything, I didn't this life one matter. Not so, I said. You have within you all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just don't remember them right now. I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders. Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful and gigantic than you can possibly imagine. Human line can only contain a tiny fraction of what you are. It's like sticking your finger in the glass of water to see if it's hot or not. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you've gained all the experience it had. You've been human for the last 48 years, so you haven't stretched out and felt the rest of your immense consciousness. If we hung out here for long enough, you start remembering everything. But there's no point to doing that between each life. How many times have I been reincarnated than Oh, lots and lots and lots and into lots of different lives? I said. This time around, you'll be a Chinese peasant girl in 540 80. Wait, what? You stammered. You're sending me back in time. Well, I guess technically, time as you know, it only exists in your universe. Things are different where I come from, where you come from, he said. Oh, sure, I explained. I come from somewhere somewhere else. And there others like me. I know you want to know what it's like there, but honestly, you wouldn't understand. Oh, you said a little bit down. But wait. If I get rid coordinated to other places in time, I could have interacted with myself. It some point sure happens all the time and with both lies only aware of their own life spent, you don't even know it's happening. So what's the point of it all? Seriously? I asked. Seriously, you're asking me the meaning of life? Isn't that a little stereotypical? Well, it's a reasonable question. Persisted. I looked joined the I the meaning of life. The reason I made this whole universe. It's for you to mature. You mean mankind. You want us to mature? No, just you. I made this whole universe for you. With each new life, you grow and mature and become a larger in greater intellect. Just me. What about everyone else? There was no one else, I said. In this universe, there's just you and me. You stared blankly at me, But all the people on Earth Oh, you difference incarnations of you. Wait! I'm everyone. Now you're getting it. I said with a congratulatory slap on the back. I'm every human being who ever lived or who will ever leave. Yes, I'm Abraham Lincoln. And you're John Wilkes Booth too. I added I'm Hitler. You said a polled, and you're the millions he killed. I'm Jesus. And you're everyone who followed him. You fell silent every time you victimized someone. I said you were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you've done. You've done to yourself every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human waas or will be experienced by you. You thought for a long time why you asked me, Why do all this? Because someday you will become like me. Because that's what you are. You are my kind. You're my child, he said incredulous. You mean I'm a god? No, not yet. Your fetus. You're still growing. Once you believed every human life throughout all time you will have grown enough to be born. So the whole universe, he said. It's just an egg. I answered. No, it's time for you to move on to your next life. And I sent you on your way.