Gerry Conway - IVR System (Parody) Mental Health Hotline
Vocal Characteristics
Language
EnglishVoice Age
Young Adult (18-35)Accents
North American (General) North American (US General American - GenAM)Transcript
Note: Transcripts are generated using speech recognition software and may contain errors.
Hello and welcome to the mental health hotline. If you're obsessive compulsive, press one repeatedly. If you are co dependent, ask someone to press two for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 345 and six. If you're paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line will trace your call. If you are delusional, press seven and your call will be transferred to the mothership. If you're schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer you If you're dyslexic, please press 96969696 If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the punky until the beat. After the beat, please wait for the beauty. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later. If you have low self esteem, hang up. All of our operators are too busy to speak to you