Mairead Curran

Mairead, a top Australian female voice artist's many years experience, passion for voiceover, extraordinary talent and professional home studio are at your service. For your next imaging or media campaign, cut through with a hard or soft sell, a natural approach, whatever your need, Mairead will deliver. Listen to her demo and see why she's the first choice of leading brands. As a trained and experienced female actor in Australian theatre, TV and film, Mairead would love to get her vocal cords on your next game, animation or audio book. With compelling characters, many accents, and great comedy timing she's the voice in your next project. Listen to her demo and you'll understand why her husband's never quite sure who he's married. Balancing authority with warmth is the key to a great narration. Whether it's educational materials, a doco, presentation, website or on-hold, Mairead's got you covered, press one now in the demo panel. Oh and in case you're wondering, its pronounced 'Parade', but with an M;) I do many qualities, accents and characters, here are just a few: Check me out if you want someone who is aberrant, abhorrent yet abiding, sometimes abnormal and abrasive. Maybe you need me to be abrupt and absorbing, even abstracted and absurd. I’m also a person who can be abusive, with an accent, accessible and accurate, yet acidic, with plenty of acting skills, I am adamant and adaptable, adorable as a puppy, perfect in your advertising, with a touch of African American if needed. Some say I am aggressive, my husband thinks I’m an alien, but I see myself more as alluring, aloof, ambiguous, I do a great American neutral, I love any animal, all animals and can be animated, always useful in an animation. Why not make me your next announcer, let me be the voice on your answering machine, don’t be apathetic, instead be approachable, or like me aquatic. I can deliver a read that is arrogant, articulate, with an Asian American accent, my range is astonishing, but if you want attitude in your audio books, or should I say audiobooks then today is an auspicious day for this Aussie from Australia. As I said I am Australian, but I am also authoritative, or so I’m told on good authority, I’m available, but never average and always award winning. If required I can be a bad, barbarous barmaid or even bashful, definitely bawdy, always beautiful and believable. If required let me be the belligerent, berserk and best voice in your project. From billowy birds to a complete bitch, with bitchy and bizarre behaviour. I will voice until I’m black and blue and as you’ve probably guessed by now I am quite brash. Do you need a woman who is breathy, breezy and bright. Maybe its British RP, or another British accent for you? Its all business as usual for me, maybe you need a calf, who is Californian and can be calm and capricious in your cartoons. Then use me, because I’m great to work with, very casual, like a cat chasing a CD. But I’m also changeable with, as you have guessed, plenty of character and characters, in fact people say I am charactery, sometimes cheeky, often cheerful, but never childish. Is it childlike or chilly you are after? Then you bring the chocolate and I will be the chocolaty voice of that chubby yet classy character you need. Its all good clean fun. Have you ever wondered what a clumsy cockney who is cold and combative sounds like? Then let my comedic talents lose in your project, relax, get comfortable and find a commanding view and let me dazzle you with my range. Some jobs call for a voice that is compassionate and compelling, who can explain complex issues, sound concerned yet confident with a contemporary feel and a conversational delivery. If that’s what you need, give me a call. Other clients want a cool talent, who is cooperative and cordial, suitable for corporate projects. But sometimes you just gotta be a courageous cow, not cowardly or crabby, not even craven or crazy. Do all these vocal styles make me seem credible or creepy? You decide, just know that I am not crooked, really I’m just as cuddly cub, who is cultured and cute, not cynical or daffy, but maybe just a little damaged, but always dazzling. A deadpan delivery can sometimes sound decisive, never decorous, but you have to reach down deep, into the delightful and demonic depths of your soul. So if you need a dependable read that is deranged and determined to be devilish and didactic, maybe even digressive, dirty and disagreeable, then check out my demos. If needed I can be discreet or disillusioned, but never divaesque. As you have gathered my skill set is very divergent and diverse, it must make you dizzy. But is perfect in any documentaries, especially your documentary, even if its about a dodgy dog who is friends with a domineering dolphin. Other projects need a talent who is down to earth, even dramatic, or maybe you need a drunk duck, that has never been dry, alternatively you may want a dull and dusty professor to voice your DVD’s. Then get ready for the most dynamic and dysfunctional, yet eager and earthy chick you ever met. Throw in an eastern European accent with an eclectic, edgy and educated feel and you have me to a tee. Can I just say that whether its educational DVD’s or educational videos, I am the voice. With my effervescent and always efficacious in other words efficient voice, I would be elated to be in your eLearning, e-Learning or otherwise electronic project. Have you ever heard an elegant elephant or an elfin elite soldier, what about an eminent yet empty priest. These are all at my disposal, along with the enchanting and encouraging, all because I am very energetic, full of energy, maybe the most engaging and entertaining voice talent you will every meet. At the very least I am enthusiastic and equable, just a little bit erratic, sometimes ethereal. So if you need an ethnic voice of any kind, particularly European and whether that character is evanescent or evasive, evil yet excited I will give you the exclusive use of my exotic creations. By now you may be feeling exuberant and exultant, just a little bit fabulous, not at all faded. So let me continue by introducing a fairy who is fallacious and false maybe even a little fanatical with a fancy hat. Sounds fantastic, my mind must be fascinating to come up with such oddities so fast, its packed fat full of characters and you might suggest even faulty. To do this kind of work, you have to be fearless with all these feigned people in your head, all dancing all festive, sometimes filthy like my friend finicky fish. Yes this is really just flagrant advertising for my flamboyant and flashy talent, but all I really want is for you to recognise my flexible range. I’m not being flippant, maybe a bit flowery when I say my foal with a foamy mouth and a forgetful nature, who likes to attend formal events in French provincial towns is the most fresh and exciting character you may ever meet. Now if you cant get hold of me or book me right away, don’t be fretful, just be friendly and realise that I am not off being frivolous, but am probably having fun being funny or furious on someone else’s project. But I always take a furtive glance at my futuristic phone, and even if I am being a game show host, and smell a bit gamy, I will contact you and arrange the booking. Lets get together and be garrulous, if not gaudy and gay, with my talent I am always generous, and if you are new to this I can be gentle, but know this. I am the genuine article, a product of gen-x, and still in touch with gen-y, Like a ghost in the machine, I float in a ghostly and giddy haze of characters reflecting all the myriad qualities of society. When you book me, be sure to mention if you want a giraffe, that has a girl next door, quality, but with a hint of glamorous showgirl and a glib attitude toward the glorious show she is in. While good at her job, she is also a little goofy, totally gorgeous and strangely graceful. You may think me grandiose to use all these great words and I admit it I am greedy when it comes to language, I love it, like a green pasture full of warm greetings, on a grey morning. To me language is groovy baby, totally groovy, sometimes grotesque and if its badly written can cause me to be grouchy, but that makes me a great copy editor, it can be a blood bath, totally gruesome, when I need to cut words. Perhaps you need your voice talent to be a grumpy, guarded, yet ultimately gullible old woman or a gusty, guttural peasant with a hallowed, halting turn of phrase and sure I can do that. But I can also deliver the classic happy hard sell with a harmonious timbre and even with a touch of haughty and all these are healthy qualities for a talent to have. Maybe your project is heartbreaking, a heartfelt and heavenly look at some sort of heavy and hellish situation. In that case I can be helpful, with my heroic performances so don’t be hesitant, and aim high. The results could be hilarious, when you get a hip chick like me involved. More likely you’re in need of a purple hippo or more correctly hippopotamus, maybe for a historical piece, for that you need actors with depth, not some hollow, yet honest and honourable try hard. It may sound horrible, but you can lead a horse to water and be very hospitable, but if they are humdrum and even if their performance is humorous, it’s not the right thing for your project. If you’ve made it this far, then you’re probably hungry, but don’t be hurried, go and get a snack, I won’t be hurt, even if leaving me alone with all these voices is a bit hurtful. Maybe I can convince you to stay with my husky and hypnotic tones. If not I’ll just get hysterical and make you feel icky. I suppose the situation is rather idiotic, but let’s remain ignorant of the risks and just keep going. My talent is so broad it must be illegal, my illustrious career began many years ago, and now I have a great image and am known for my imaginary station imaging, my impartial treatment of all my clients and brilliant impersonations, I just draw on my improv skills and deliver my usual incandescent performance.
Now a word of advice to the incompetent out there, to overcome weakness you must take an industrial approach and be industrious, like insects such as bees and ants. I find them inspirational, I mean really inspiring, the way they operate is very instinctive and intelligent, imagine if they used an interactive voice response system, it would be very efficient, you would get lots of options. So how about this thing the internet, Its not all that intimate, but it is certainly intriguing, I’ve met a few men online who thought they were invincible, all casual and inviting me out, but what makes me really irate is when they start insulting the Irish. That really makes my palms itchy, even the ants wouldn’t have an IVR response to deal with that. Sometimes in this line of work, you can get a bit jaded and you can feel a little jagged because some other talent lands a real jazzy gig and you can become jealous. But I don’t often get jittery or worry that I will be jobless. Instead I am joyous because I have the good fortune to be in demand and I am judicious about who I work with. I don’t just take any work, if you do that all the jobs are just jumbled together, diluting your brand. That’s the kind of thing you do when you are just a jumpy juvenile, like a kangaroo that goes kaput, because it tries to jump over an electric fence. That sounds cruel, but I am kind hearted, and just plain kind, like an adorable kitten, that likes to play with a knotty ball of wool, knowing and knowledgeable that somewhere an indentured koala laboured very hard to make that ball. That marsupial wasn’t lackadaisical or lacking in gumption, it wasn’t laid back or in some sort of lamentable funk, This is one dynamic koala, never languid or late, its work performance is inspiring, not laughable and that’s how it affords its lavish lifestyle on the weekends, when it can be lazy, eating leading brands of gum leaves because they are lean, and low in fat, or so it has learned. Do you want a legal read, with legal strength so lethal that it levels the listeners, not lewd, and certainly not light or likeable, read by a lioness that is so literate it leaves little room for doubt that her lively performance maybe with a bit of a Londoner accent, will leave you with a longing for her lovely and loving, low pitched and low-key performances. While I have never been a lowly talent, I do count myself lucky to be doing this wonderful and ludicrous job, where one minute I am a lush, lusty babe, lying on a luxuriant bed, waxing lyrical about how good its sheets are and the next minute I am a macabre, mad killer saying maddening things to some magical beast in a magnificent castle with majestic views for malicious reasons in some game. Some people call them mam or mom, others mummy or mammy, but regardless of whether your mother is maniacal or materialistic, mature or measly, in need of medical help but too meek to ask, maybe she is very melodic, or like me a bit melodramatic, whoever and whatever your mum is she will always be memorable. Why not give your old mum a call now….. unless she’s dead like mine. Lord be merciful, please hear our message or messages, possibly via some sort of messaging device, whether they come from some middle aged stockbroker or some mindless madman, ore even from a miniature moaning sheep. Please listen to our modern message and in your best momentous, monotone voice tell us something motivational so we don’t go mouldy. Have I mentioned movie trailer yet? I’m getting a bit muddled, Well I can deliver, from the mundane idyllic town blown apart by alien invaders to the murky depths of film noir or the classic Hollywood mushy love story or some mysterious spy thriller to the classic naïve coming of age movie, I can deliver the narration that sells a million tickets because I am……The Narrator. You know what I don’t like? Narrow minded nasty people who have a natural tendency towards nauseating stupidity and ill conceived nebulous opinions making needless references to their own problems because they are so needy, though often quite neighbourly, very nervous and really neurotic, them I don’t like….. you, I’m starting to warm toJ How about I give you my neutral American, or my classic New York accent, its new, nice, a nifty little thing I picked up the other day. I glided noiseless into this mall which was pretty noisy, looking kinda nonchalant and nondescript, when I bumped into this northern Irish woman I knew. It was very nostalgic but she was a bit nosy and before long the conversation turned noxious and so being obedient if not obeisant to my higher self, I removed myself from her obnoxious company, flipped her an obscene gesture and left. Being so observant, I of course noticed she was very obsequious, but her fawning was obsolete, to her I was no longer obtainable. There was now an oceanic rift between us as I could no longer tolerate her odd and offbeat manner, in fact I found it onerous and so our relationship was now permanently on-hold. Some people think the humble orange is ordinary, even if it is organic, I think it is otherwordly and I am overjoyed to be eating one right now. You may think this reaction a little over the top, that I’m a bit overconfident, that oranges are overrated, but let me be overt if not overwrought and to the point of being painful. If you are painstaking in your panoramic appreciation of the orange, and find yourself parched, yet are a person of parsimonious leanings, then the orange is a very good value thirst quencher. I am a passionate woman, living a pastoral life as I find the quality of life elsewhere can be pathetic, but my life here is peaceful, a simple life, perhaps I am being penitent, because I am far from perfect, but I am a little perky, very personable, and I hope persuasive, I am also petite phobic, so for example a very tiny pig, smaller than a piglet will freak me right out. After exercise I exude a piquant odour and am placid, does that sound plausible? I have been called playful and pleasant, I am plucky and my voice is perfect for your podcasting, it is poignant and polished, perfect for political content written by a politician. But don’t steal my pony, of which I am very possessive, or you will ignite my powerful anger, that horse is precious to me with its precocious manner, pretty coat, and prickly character, it is a regular prim little princess. Above all I am a professional, I’m very good with a promo, very protective of your brand, proud of your product or project, and I really live the work I am doing at that time. So if the project calls for a psychedelic psycho, someone so psychotic that you get puffy around the eyes from crying in fear, then watch out because I will have to eat a puppy to get into character. Some of you may think this quaint, others may want to be quarrelsome about it, but be quick, I’ve got a puppy bake in the oven and its gone quiet, which means its ready. Wow, this has been quite a quirky and quixotic little journey, I’m sure its left some of you in a quizzical state and no doubt others are rabid about some of my comments, but they are all in jest I assure you. So if you are on the radio, maybe a DJ, maybe you need a radio or TV promo. If it’s a ragged or raspy, voice you want, or a ratty, raucous sound, then keep it real, with a woman who can blend rebellious with received pronunciation and pull it off. Are you receptive to my message now, or are you seeing red? Was my communiqué sufficiently refined, are you now reflective, about when you might book my regal presence into your studio? Are you perhaps relieved, that this monologue is nearly over? Maybe you are reminiscent about your favourite bit? I like the one about the resolute reptile that uses its large resonant cavity to deliver a retail read rich in rhetorical and righteous subtext. Or maybe for you it was the ritzy yet robotic Russian, with a romantic streak, robust enough to rise to royal status from her ruddy rural beginnings. I am indeed fortunate that this text box is roomy, and square, not round , else all my rustic and ruthless musings may have come to a premature and sad end. Now I don’t want to be sarcastic or sassy but I expect you have found reading all this rather satisfying, if not scandalous and sometimes scary. I admit, the voice trade is not scientific, but it is always scintillating, for example you may be asked to create a Scottish character that is scrawny and secretive with a sedate nature and a seductive streak that makes her seemly. When faced with such a task, you must be selective, should she be very sensuous or a little bit serious, when being sexy, should she come across as shallow, should she be obedient like a sheep, or shocking with a short, shrill voice? Maybe she should have a silky voice and say silly things, all these questions must be answered to find the heart of a character. Do you have a screen cam, simulation or simulations that need narrating? Do you need a voice that is sincere and skilful, a smart voice, not some sloppy or slow voice, not a voice that makes your project sound small and smelly, but a voice that has smile, is smooth maybe a little bit smoky? Then look no further than I. Perhaps your taste runs to more Disney type characters like a sneaky snake, that has a snobbish, kind of snotty bearing and uses a soft sell, an almost soggy approach with a sombre and soothing edge, a sophisticated approach that draws you into her sordid plans. Or maybe a southern Irish girl is more your style with a spectacular and spicy past, who has undergone a spiritual transformation to become a splendid spokesperson with a spunky attitude towards the spooky issues facing us like climate change and the spurious and squalid claims of some that such issues are not important. Do you live inside a square, are you squeamish, do you feel like a stereotype? Then let me do some stimulating story telling or story-telling, depending on your hyphen preference. I am after all a professional story teller and I will give it to you straight. This is a strange tale about a successful yet stingy old lady who liked to use very strong and succinct language, not like me obviously. One day she was feeling quite subdued and sulky, when this sultry surfer swan who was really quite sweet, said something so tacky it was almost a talent. I’ve heard some very talented people say very tawdry things, but they were tame compared to what this tangy tart said. This was so far from tasteful, that it made me tearful, if you had a teenager or child in their teens and they heard this on television, it would burn their tender ears and loosen their tenuous grip on reality it was so bad. Anyway, this made the old lady very testy and she needed some therapeutic treatment from a thoughtful counsellor. But after the session she refused to pay and the counsellor said some threatening things about the tight fisted old lady who was so tight her purse was tiny. Anyway this tiresome, toothsome, tough old lady felt she was on top of her game. But later that day she felt a little torpid, and retired to her tranquil trailer, where she watched some transatlantic, trashy TV programs with tricky stories and trite characters. So this truculent old lady who was clearly not trustworthy nor truthful sat down to her typical ubiquitous TV dinner, featuring the ugliest piece of ugly meat ever to be eaten, even worse than during the mad cow scare in the UK. This rotten meat caused the old lady to become unbalanced, and she ran about town doing things quite unbecoming, sharing unbiased views of peoples characters that were well understood by the townsfolk to be undesirable and unequalled in her uneven representation of their personalities. Indeed they decided she was unhinged, unique in her malice, unsightly in appearance and unsuitable to be a member of their town or indeed present anywhere in the United Kingdom. This was unusual for these upbeat people, but she was just too uppity, had upset too many people, even if they were a little uptight. These townsfolk were not vacuous or vague, they did not lounge on velvety chairs thinking vengeful and venomous thoughts, surrounded by verdant hills. They were versatile people well versed in the law, indeed they had a vibrant and modern culture and were in fact victorious in a number of video games or videogames as others prefer. Anyway, these vigorous and vivacious people called me, for some professional voice acting, services. They needed a voice actor to create a voice mail that warned the old lady never to return, should she decide to call. This voicemail was clear that this volatile old lady with a voracious appetite for abuse should never again grace their shores. While in town I did a couple of vox pop interviews for my weekly podcast and it become clear that she was roundly considered a most vulgar and wacky person, wanting in all respects. Once person I spoke to, a warm warrior, was a bit wary of being wasteful with words and was very watchful of my moves. I think she saw me as a bit watery, maybe weak, but that’s her problem. Another woman, clearly quite wealthy, yet weary sat me down and had a wee chat and some of the other weird things happening about town. Like the bar wench that got wet while swimming with a whale and how her whimsical ways and whiny manner had caused a whisper, yes there was whispering in town. Now this lass was white as snow, wholesome to the core, yet after her aquatic frolic she became wicked and willing. The wise and wistful witch in town consulted her friend the wolf and through her womanly way she returned the lass to a normal woman-on-the-street. This was wonderful news especially to some of the more wooden townsfolk, who found her wanton behaviour made them woozy. They had been quite worried, that she would become worthless, or even wrathful and wretched, but the wise woman with a wry smile, cured the poor lass of her x-rated ways. No longer was that yellow haired lass, yielding her young, youthful body. But of course it was not over, for latter she would become a yummy mummy and the whole zany adventure would begin again. Copyright Mairead Curran 2008 – No reproduction without express permission please.