Mood swings and pitch change via a stand up set.
Description
Vocal Characteristics
Language
EnglishVoice Age
Young Adult (18-35)Accents
North American (General)Transcript
Note: Transcripts are generated using speech recognition software and may contain errors.
well, dear Diary, think this third coming for ripping into reptiles back there. I am the iguana owner. What was a serial killer or just a great guy Way? When you have a 1,000,000 eyes flicker open is red lidless eyes are staring at you and you're in the same bed. It's romantic. Dear Diary, are the Swedish people still here? Do they leave a long time? So it's gonna be tender ****. Have you got your tinder date? Went extraordinarily well and then you stuff drinking for about 10 minutes and I have that briefs Silver When you look into the cab next to you that beautiful people thought the image of the girl you've been kissing the last hour starting to sharpen up This'll point. You're like, Oh, God, she's not even symmetrical. She's wearing overalls in chewing khat cab. Granted, it's tough caps moving, and it's moving to your own apartment. Tim Control knows where you live. Granted, when you walk out of your cab, that thing's gonna waddle right behind you. Now, if you're a cruel, uncaring, sweetest person, just run away, right? If you really don't care about the person or if you look at their physique. You could do it like a gentle jog. And so do you. Like I told you once you sober up things get real. You're a better person that so you have to open your apartment door and you open the door. Remember, you have to put Is that the white walkers walking a prostate groans reference. Yeah. So you have to let these things into your into your home. She's there to hug you. You don't want a hugger. That's, uh, promise. So here's what you should do. And this is what I've found works in 98% of the time. Once you open the door for you say I'm just here to play heads up apples to apples. Now, granted, that makes no sense, which is in a drunk control state. She'll just hit. This is where you take the in Qana out of okay, you put it on your shoulder. You gonna get her indicating she should leave. But it's her choice. You're not being rude. She'll be terrified. You're on the on the amazing off Chance, ladies and gentlemen that she is so hideous or so drunk or so desperate that she says I love reptiles and apple stabbing Death con three. Oh, I'm sorry. I don't have apples. I actually happened. I have apples here. I just have the board game risk We're gonna play if you hold South America. Rather watch modern this'll makes all of them leave. But this is on. If it does **** it. Marry her. You're gonna get level right. Sexless, passionless marriage. But he just makes fun of cripples. I don't know. That's just one sided coin. Same scenario you're suffering upon the cab ride back. But you're going to her place. Her places in Virginia. Theo, it's a slap this night. You can navigate by the store on your phone is dying. That was every guy in the eighties. Ways guys screaming, banging his apartment door A bunch of chubby girls hugging background Ghostbusters way. If you are con that scenario, quick Segway Just go into her shower. Take hopes he leaves their own apartment for hours. I never got out. I don't know that story Terrible. But my point is ladies and gentlemen, we should never be in this scenario because we bought so much porn. We can identify anybody from any angle off any clip off any profile picture just takes five images, and we could do a panoramic Let's start easy for easy one. I'm a fat girl. I'm taking a profile pic from this angle. My chubby, bulbous face creates its own gravity field. But as long as I take this shot of this picture here who make my face look like a triangle wrong, we all know that we're not going to click on that theme. Only one that falls. Who has other chubby girls chubby sex together and have a ****. Kids. Three other one. I'll do it for the ladies here. The guy that takes the AB photo against the mirror isn't that awful, your abs. But it's not the rest of humanity. Stop. Yeah, if you're making your MySpace profile in the year 2002 don't know how to use your Nokia. Understand? Come on, man, that was That was 0.3. There's only three of these images left, and I hope I don't catch you on this or take offense to it. Wedding profile pictures for your tender or match dot com. What the lady thinks this just look. I have a lot of friends. I'm in the commitment. What we see is, Oh, God, that's how good she looks at her best, I guess, what I'll never be doing with her, saving me a lot of time now if you're into milk born, not only can you identify profile pictures, but you can also see how they age in the future is a magical. There's some flower dress looks great now, but in 10 years we know what happens. No guys, those infections from the piercings And now there's come all over the marigold. Next I way, I conclude. By the way, if you're an animal born, there's no hope for you was the girl has, like a hand drawn profile, your toe close on this. The hardest one to pick out of Pick out of any online dating thing at all is the 17 pictures. They all look good. There's nothing wrong with their for many ankle. Any angle. It all you're going through the pictures is only seven of them. You could read on her and then you see something on the far bottom. Right corner. What is it? It's a time date, isn't it? Camera phones don't have time. What isn't safe of a No. 4020 ****. She's not Benjamin Button. All right. Thanks for you can find that creepy ************ like Friendly. Yes. Finally, once that. Why did you glad you brought your fan base coming next to the stage. Please put your hands together for