Hindsight 2021 with Damian Muziani
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Vocal Characteristics
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EnglishVoice Age
Middle Aged (35-54)Accents
North American (General)Transcript
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Hello and welcome to hindsight. 2021. For the first week of september I'm Damien use Ianni and here's your news leading off after weeks and weeks of embarrassingly failed predictions about the taliban and the U. S. A departure from Afghanistan President joe biden is apparently finally learning how to distract americans properly. It was just last month when biden assured us that the taliban afghan takeover was and I quote highly unlikely. And of course just three weeks later cavil airport turned into some kind of Ramadan kool aid acid test. He also said that the removal of U. S. Personnel would look nothing like Saigon in 1975. Well it's not totally like it. And then he assured us that U. S. Armed forces would be safely taken out of Afghanistan by august 31st. Well that only came true if you also counted the ones who safely left in a pine box joe. But that was so 72 hours ago, biden won back americans with just two words ninja bomb. He ordered the bomb in two separate attacks on ISIS operatives who were planning to bomb Kabul airport and in one swift antony Blinken of an eye, the R. Nine X. Appeared Obama causes no explosion. No scorched earth. It's just a £100 steel ***** that homes in on targets at 1000 MPH with pinpoint accuracy while spending six giant swords around and slices the bad guys in half. Like in that ridiculous ghost ship movie. Forget the smart bomb. This is like the bobby Fischer of bombs. Here's your cancel culture proof Pc storyboard. Hey, non american, nondenominational bad person number one. Have you seen on american? Nondenominational bad person number two. Why? No, that's strange. He was just here a minute ago. Hey, where did this £200 of lunch meat come from? This thing is sick. It's a Freddy Krueger blender. It's sho kosugi in a wind tunnel. Welcome back Mr president And when you live in America, you do as the americans. Do you sue each other? Like spencer Elden did he was the baby on that blockbuster Nirvana album cover who spent 30 years proudly recreating profiting and trying to get laid from it and then realized that he wasn't really the toddler minded greed ***** depicted in that photo and to prove it, he wants 100 and $50,000 And right now that smells like means spirit to us in a related story. The iconic have a nice day face that has been loved across the country since the seventies and immortalized in movies like Forrest gump has also filed the lawsuit against Nirvana allegedly the band obtained an image of him taken after a night of hard drinking with MS pacman and plastered the plastered face on t shirts posters and music releases effectively tarnishing his nice day image. We think we found the perfect job for this. Lovable logo to return to his historic heroic roots. We think he'd be perfect as an airborne ambassador for all future. Us ISIS Communications have a ninja day, And finally, this week, hindsight is mourning the loss of actor ed Asner, who passed away on Sunday. I was lucky to have known him and worked with him in recent years. He was a phenomenal person and he will be missed. Ed Asner was 91 and that's your news. I'll see you next week with fresh hindsight.