The Babel Fish
Superstar
Description
Vocal Characteristics
Language
EnglishVoice Age
Middle Aged (35-54)Accents
Australian British (General)Transcript
Note: Transcripts are generated using speech recognition software and may contain errors.
the Babel fish is small, yellow and leech like and probably the oddest thing in the known universe. It feeds on brainwave energy, received not from its own carrier but from those around it. It absorbs all unconscious mental frequencies from this brainwave energy to nourish itself with practical upshot of all this being that if you stick a Babel fish in your ear, you can instantly understand anything said to you in any form of language. Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mind bogglingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some scholars have come to see it as the final and clinching proof of the nonexistence of God. Their argument goes something like this. I refuse to prove that I exist, says God. Proof denies faith. And without faith, I am nothing. But, says man, the Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn't it? Nothing that useful could have evolved purely by chance. It proves you exist. Therefore, by your own logic, you don't q e d Oh, dear God, I hadn't thought of that on promptly vanishes in a puff of logic. Oh, that was easy, says man. And for an encore goes on to prove that black is white and gets killed on the next zebra crossing. Most leading theologians claim that this theory is a load of dingoes kidneys. But that didn't stop Poland Kalu for making a small fortune by using it as the central theme of his bestselling novel. Well, that about wraps it up for God. Meanwhile, the poor Babel fish, by effectively removing a LL barriers to communication between different races and coaches, has created Mohr and bloody awards than anything else in the history of creation.