How to be better at dating
Description
Vocal Characteristics
Language
EnglishVoice Age
Young Adult (18-35)Accents
North American (General)Transcript
Note: Transcripts are generated using speech recognition software and may contain errors.
Hello and welcome to my podcast today. Today I'm gonna be talking a little bit about dating. I've recently looked into the study. Done that was asking the question if love could be controlled and in that not manufactured, but instead enabled in a way that avoids us using our biases against that other person. And that tends to happen for us and the questions that we ask. It's very common to ask things like, What's your favorite color? What's your favorite food? I love Chinese, and we start to impress upon them what we think the right answer is. And it's very easy for this person to I agree. And of course, they're going to agree if they find us attractive because they want to be in the relationship with us. And what that does is it creates this incomplete view into another person. You think that you know this person, but instead you actually only know the version of this person that matches with you. And for some people it takes years, months, and that's really a lot of time that you're not getting to know that person you're feeding that person the right information to be with you. So this professor developed a list of questions that he felt would help us avoid our biases and get to know that person without imposing her own assumptions. So he's put this together and actually published it in a couple of magazines. And so I was able to Google the magazine and get those list of questions. And I've been telling everyone about these questions on that Everyone in my life is gonna be asking these questions to each other, but they're not intrusive. They're not the kind that would maybe make someone feel uncomfortable if you start in the right order. Um, it starts off. The very first question on what you know is if you could select anyone in the world, who would you have as your dinner guests and more important than who they select? The second part of that question is why and give you a lot of insights into who this person really is without the barrier of them trying to impress you because they really have to think about the whole world. Who would I pick and why? And when you get into the why that second layer? I think that's when you really start to see that person and not the person they want you to see as the best version of themselves, but maybe a little bit of those flaws, like they might idolize people for some reason that you didn't know and maybe that matches well with you. And that's a great new step. Or maybe they don't. And that's important. To know how aligned you really are is hard to understand sometimes. And this is just one way that you can remove some of the most common things, like your own biases and assumptions about this person and get to know the real version of them. Let them drop that mask of I'm amazing always because no one's amazing always. All right, so that's a start for today. I'm gonna post that list of questions, and you has come let me know what you think in the comments. Maybe we'll dive a little deeper next time. And if not happy dating