I, Grey The Audiobook
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British (General) British (Received Pronunciation - RP, BBC)Transcript
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it's quite mild in the park. I'm now approaching a bench and there are two trolls seated upon it, both lolling about. This is the first time I've seen humans, and I'm not wholly impressed. Their behaviour is very erratic. It is curious because observing others in the distance, this disgusting duo are slurring their words and swaying to and fro, lifting brown paper bags to their mouth and consuming something that I can smell even from here. They're now talking or need a slash. I'll take the ball with me as you drink a lot with me back turned. Stay here and keep our space. I'll go behind that there tree. I watched this thing with hair on its face, attired in a shabby torn dark brown suit, clumsily approaching a sapling before reaching it. He stops just short of me and stares directly into my eyes. I am suddenly apprehensive and remain very still assured that my invisibility cloak is operational. The green light on my wrist watch confirms this. However, he doesn't budge an inch very carefully. I dislodged my side arm in preparation for defence. It is a matter of principle that I cannot under any circumstances be seen in my true form, I have been given strict orders to nullify any troll that should gaze upon my alien features as galactic high command fear Word of mouth reaching Balthazar himself. I was informed that the trolls love gossip. That is why I am a lone hunter for want of the human definition to appear as low key as possible. What's he looking at? Surely he can't see me. What was their The dismal thing? Inquires. I'm sure I saw somebody move over there. Yeah, yeah. Drunk Your dirty Oh, tramp. The other hollers Obvious slash And should you bleeding? Great trap up. They are British ruffians evidently picking the US to soil travel and to live out their intoxicated existence amongst the brown logs and paper bags. A haze does my camouflage leave residue or some kind of displacement. I'll have to find a reflector and have a good look at myself when time permits. Nevertheless, the governor did assure me I've got state of the art technology. I'm now looking at the ship or where I know it to be part, and there's certainly no undesirable side effects visible. The troll then concentrates on the tree and unzips his pants. He soaks the plantation with her dangling hose and consulting my data bank, I briskly discover that in relation to the bum, which disposes solids, the hominids have another organ to adequately relieve liquids. We have no need for bums and hoses. We just make bodies to suit our needs. And our nourishment is pure universal energy. I am growing tired of these underdog primates, and I'm just about to move on. When quite by chance patrol turns back to face me while replacing his hose. He's calling to the other vagabond. There's something bad brewing or swear. E I was born psychic, and I can sense the supernatural is a demon over there. A bloody demon? Yeah, dirty old snot bag. You ain't got no psychic stuff in you. The seated naive scorns. Yeah, just high on spirits. Anyhow, if you are a psychic, why ain't you were rich old stuff that the rest of them psychic I speedily consult the particulars and find, to my surprise that this filthy mortal standing before me may actually detect my presence by way of extrasensory perception. It is a contested phenomenon, though mercifully not very widespread among the troll folk. Nevertheless, I now deem it necessary to take action. The tree leaking vagabond ignores his mate and briskly begins to move towards me, albeit drunkenly. I swiftly surveyed the park and find that it is relatively vacant. Fortunate for me, I then a my sidearm at the troll. Come here. You're crafty old devil. He slurs. I see you, I see you. I pull the trigger and feel a slight ricochet as the mechanism pumps out a fantastic blast that dissolves the tramp in milliseconds, paper, bag and bottle included. After a flash and a bang, he's gone with no trace whatsoever. The one seated has evidently witnessed the assassination and immediately jumps up in astonishment before he can even holler. I polish him off to peace and quiet resume