Nonfiction - Self Help
Vocal Characteristics
Language
EnglishVoice Age
Middle Aged (35-54)Accents
North American (General)Transcript
Note: Transcripts are generated using speech recognition software and may contain errors.
wanting to probe a little more deeply into additional areas of broken nous. I reminded Don that any question I asked which she did not feel comfortable answering would indeed be respected. She acknowledged she was ready to continue a reference to previous area of Brokenness. And my next question. Dawn. You talked about your depression and your debilitating life. Messages of self hatred. Are there any other pieces to your Brokenness which are important to share and how they manifested in you, or showed up in you or in your relationships? Don jumped in definitely in relationships. I was the stereotypical girl, someone who grew up with alcoholic parents. I always managed to find the guy high on Coke all the time or drank, or I continue to be attracted to people like that. But then there was a part of me that said, Don't do it, Stop it. But a lot of that came from not feeling equal to or worthy of a partner. Dons voice softened but remained strong. Depression and anxiety have always been huge for me. I can manage it today, but at the point when I was extremely ill, I actually had a suicide attempt, Don breathed in and out calmly, she disclosed. I was in my second semester of my second year of college and just got to the point where I didn't care anymore. At this point, all my parents are out of my life with barely any contact with my family. This was a choice I made. I could not have had them in my head anymore. I was so completely numb. Just the no missed I have ever been in my life. I do not care anymore. I did not care the voices in my head from years of conditioning. You're not good enough. You're a tramp. You're a disgrace. I just couldn't take it. I just couldn't take it anymore and do anything to stop it. I thought it was my only option Remaining composed, Don added. I understand now. It wasn't but at the time that is what I felt. When people say this is the only way out. I understand that because that is how I felt. It is Theo only way out. And then, with a surprise bounce popping back in dawn's voice lit up. But it didn't work. I'm still here. The brief moment of levity was relished by both of us. A serious tone replaced it. I am joking, but I've come to an understanding where I knew I haven't been that low sense and it is because I have done a lot of work on myself. I understand I have a tendency to get depressed and anxious, so we need to have things I can rely on to make myself feel better. Don chuckled. Legal things. We both laughed but respected the seriousness of her disclosures and without further exploration on my part, Dawn shared a profound insight from her broken background. It is interesting because even though I removed myself physically from my family, they were still in my head. I remember thinking if I just removed myself from my step mom because she was the dominant mother figure in my life at the time, I'll be OK. But really the work was just starting meeting dawn. In a place of unconditional positive regard. I joined with her, taking ample time to honor her feelings and respect her disclosure about her suicide attempt. It is my belief that regardless of the degree of healing we have done on ourselves, sharing deeply personal pieces of our broken nous can stir up or cause other painful parts to surface. Unearthing her seeds of betrayal and exposing their ensuing injuries within her was a testament to Dawn's commitment to wellness for herself and her courageous desire to help others move toward wholeness. Before leaving the section of Brokenness from betrayal, I asked Dawn if there was anything else she felt like sharing. I think I started to talk about this before with my Step Mom, and I think it could go back to my birth mom. It betrayal had an impact on the basics of my being. Did I have a right to be on this planet? It's the betrayal attacked, the very root of who I was and who I am with my Step Mom. The betrayal attacked Don searched for her words, and with renewed focus, Dawn described her broken core. I am thinking of a tree and the roots are in the ground. These betrayals ate away at the roots of what I waas and who I am, She continued. For example, my stepmother and her ideas of sex of what is right and wrong and her saying You'll be a tramp And if you do this and you do that, that is attacking something that is very personal. And with a piercing pregnancy which resonated through the phone, Don repeated, it is attacking the root of life while absorbing and processing dawns. Disclosures. I was moved by her metaphor of betrayal. I expressed out loud to her what I felt, utilizing it as a means of affirming her experiences. Visualize ing her vast betrayal grounds with layers upon layers of toxins, infiltrating the soil and making their way into her core. Into her essence, I validated with Don how her use of attacking the root of life brought forth the image of a struggling tree, suffocated and left to survive on its own. As I prepared to move into Brokenness to wholeness, there was an unusual quiet between Don and me. I let it be knowing how clearing away of past a debris and damaged particles is necessary in order to make room for honoring new growth. Gently, I checked in with Don, How are you doing? Do you need to take a break, get a cup of coffee? Other Ah forest of wholeness filled the space in its centre, a thriving tree Don pronounced. I'm good, I'm with you