My Totally Elfed Xmas by Audrey Furnas
Description
Vocal Characteristics
Language
EnglishVoice Age
Young Adult (18-35)Accents
North American (General)Transcript
Note: Transcripts are generated using speech recognition software and may contain errors.
I suit up in a jolly hat and blanket scarf in lieu of an obstructive coat and armed myself with coffee and espresso for me, since my stomach is hardly interested in more sugar and mom's caramel mocha with the lid off, ready to get thrown on any scuzz balls. It only takes half a mile outdoors to make me regret my choices. My nose feels like it might crack off if I touch it and my fingers are burning. one particularly bone chilling animal noise causes me to slip hot liquid blisters the back of my hand, but I won't turn back if I have any hope of redeeming my holiday, this must be done. My entire body is chattering. By the time I passed through the coals entrance, I tossed the emptied espresso mug into my cart and hover over the other mini heat source enjoying the caramel caress. Now, let's see. Where are my fellow comrades who appreciate a good deal. I was ready to bob and weave. I was ready to tangle. Have americans forsaken all notion of patriotism at this rate. I may not even get to wait in line. When will I decide which of my conquests? I mean to keep. I passed a little girl being tugged along by her dad. Her hand slips from a stuffed animal with giant eyes. I pick it up for my cousin who's about her age. I don't know this store like I know my usual, which doesn't bode well my cart wanders into the belly of a clothing section. These snoopy pajamas need to be had in goes a set for me and one for gemma and one for mom and an extra pair in case Claudia's around comes santa day. Then I notice a coat I've been coveting and a super cute dress. I'm elbow deep in a clearance rack when the loudspeaker announces the store closing in 30 minutes I reroute seen how terribly off plan I've gone. I usually follow a strict E. H. F. Strategy, electronics. Housewares fashion, It saves time and puts the priority on my other people gifts. Let's regroup. What's my primary goal, scoring the most impressive gifts A college budget can buy. I grabbed a frantic store clerk, electronics. He points to the escalator. Fat chance with this cart. I am pleased to discover an elevator before I try to tilt the cart up and hope for the best. The elevator opens up to the second floor like a curtain on the price is right there's a doorbuster Samsung tv standing tall in the middle of the aisle still here five hours after the black friday kickoff. Holy Elf bells am I going to become a christmas morning hero. Will that moment get talked about for years to come the fire ignites I wrangle the last big screen into my cart. What other unthinkable deals await me in this Under appreciated gift haven Would would candles going for $5 apiece. A whole case slides into my cart's undercarriage to satisfy my rule of twos. As in always include two things in the gift bag or else you basically look like you don't even care in housewares territory. I ****** up adorable christmas mugs going for practically nothing. These bogo knickknacks are ideal for the holiday wreath I want to construct and the home depot next door should have fresh pine bases, a fragrant gold adorned beauty hanging from our doorway is sure to leave a positive impression on the neighbor's. Yay, the entertainment themed ornaments catch my attention. Cal will love the philadelphia eagles player but would he appreciate the game of Thrones stuff? I decided to decide later and toss them aboard the sleigh. A voice over the loudspeaker encourages all shoppers to head to the checkout lanes. The store will be closing in five minutes. I trip a man in my frenzied route to the accessories. Sorry, I yell. I definitely sound a little crazed, but that's what you get when you mix lots of caffeine emerging delirium and some mad deals people get it. I find an adorable winter accessory set mittens, a scarf and a hat all in red plaid. It makes me want to burst into christmas flames plus the mittens will make the walk home tolerable. I buy two extra sets for my mom and someone other last minute items with yellow deal stickers go into the cart, fuzzy socks, oven mitts, christmas, you know, a reindeer toothbrush. These should cover lots of people on my list. They're versatile. It's kind of good. My friends bailed on me this year. I've gotten a ton more accomplished and I didn't even need five stops to do it. Someone might as well promote me to santa claus and give me a reindeer.