Excerpt from Talking To My Mother, 99 Anecdotes by Aviva Basin Derenowski
Vocal Characteristics
Language
EnglishVoice Age
Middle Aged (35-54)Accents
North American (General) North American (US Mid-Atlantic)Transcript
Note: Transcripts are generated using speech recognition software and may contain errors.
Neptune Hook, MMA, 82. Home Mom. What Symbolizes Home for you? You were born in Buenos Iris, lived in a small community for more than 10 years, then moved to a town near Tel Aviv. What is home? My mother closed her eyes for a few seconds and said, I feel at home wherever I am, where my Children are. I taught myself to feel at ease anywhere. It wasn't always easy. The move from the metropolis of winners idlers to this small village in Israel was difficult, but I adapted and became part of it. These days, here in Ramayana, I go to the senior center to learn Chee Kong and English. I have valuable friends and teachers who come to my home to practice yoga and spirituality. I for my home, wherever I am. Where is your home TV? My community is my home, mom. But when I go to visit you, I also feel at home. I am at home no matter where I am. I believe I got it from you and I blew her a kiss. 83 Frustration! What do you do when you're frustrated? Mom, I feel incarcerated in my own opinion. which pulls me down like a whirlpool, dragging me toward its center, and I know it would take me down. What should I do? My anguish was striking. My mother's calm voice soothed me. Sometimes when I realize a conversation goes in circles without any resolution in sight, I tell myself, someone ought to make this interaction go well, let's see if I can be that person and I get absorbed in the opinion of the other, I show them I understand their point of view and let them shine. We both end up winning, since that behavior strengthens our relationship. I noticed the glitter in her eye. She knew how hard it was for me to let someone else come. First 84 husband, I asked my mother, Did you like to be married? I wanted to be a wife for as long as I remember. When I finally did, it was a gift from the Creator. Your situation was different. You met Father when you were 15. Writing this book gave me license to ask intimate questions, she said. I inherited core values from my parents. My mother was my role model. She was soft spoken, but under that tender attitude was a woman of steel who knew what was best for her family. I tried to embody that I respected your father and made sure there was always food on the table. The house was an order and well managed. I was never a career woman. I loved my home and my family. I adored your father and knew we were together till death do us part. Unfortunately, he died too soon, but until his death, we were good companions. He was number one, and I supported him. I hope I am an excellent wife. Toe Alex. He deserves to be cherished. 85 Crossroad. I asked myself, What would my life be like if I didn't move to New York? If I remained a teacher in a small community, how would my life be different? How would I be different? And then I said to my mother, Each choice affects the rest of your life. Do you ever feel you are at a crossroad? How do you feel about the choices you've made? It's not mentally or emotionally profitable to play fantasy games about life. The characters of my fictional story are biased to my whims. they can shadow over the present by fantasizing. I take energy from my experiences. I prefer to focus on the present, since I've already made the choices to get here. I concentrate on being joyful here and now, she chuckled. Her words were a wake up call from a self hypnosis, a reminder of the beauty of my life with all its choices. 86 cycle. I don't know what Israel anymore. Each moment is within a cycle which is within a larger cycle. I believe I felt it all before Onley. Not exactly like this. Does it sound familiar to you? I was confused and lost, and at the same time it felt as if everything was in its proper place. Mom was quiet for a moment and then said, I sense it all the time. I see life within context. Nothing is isolated. Each encounter is part of a richer harmony. I love it. I feel at home everywhere. People on the street are part of my tribe. My actions have become clear and mawr distinct. Since I go through the cycle again and again, my emotions reflect a moment, nothing more. I am calm and young people tell me I'm valuable to them. Life is good. I nodded and felt relaxed. The cycles made my life meaningful. I was grateful. 87 Fragility. I don't understand the complexity of my personality. On the one hand, I haven't ego that could build a city on the other. If someone told me I couldn't do it, I'd break down and cry. If I'm so grandiose, How come my ego doesn't protect me from getting hurt? Your ego can't help you because your fragility is part of it. When someone says your English is not good enough to write a book, you believe them. Once you think like them, your ego can't protect you. It crumbles. A big ego is rigid. It can't listen to a different opinion. When you have a flexible ego, you agree to some thoughts and object to others. You discriminate between somebody else's beliefs and your own. You may even take the contrary approach into account, but always in a calm, friendly way, you will be listening to others and resolve conflicts without tension. Without tension, I have a long way to go 88 fly, Brooke suggested. I rewrite the stories as little as possible, he said. They go straight to the readers heart as they are, and if I changed them into proper English, they would die. I said I was afraid my readers would mock me. They would say that what I wrote was not English. Once the stories were published, I'd have no control over their response. I trembled when I spoke. Trust Brooke. He's the professional. You've paid him to tell you the best way to publish your book. He has experience. I hear your fear, but you can't let your anxiety dictate your future or your progress. Otherwise, there will be no brilliance Onley some average writing that tries to look like everybody else. I took a deep breath and decided to let Brooke call the shots. I told myself not to argue, not to discourage him from his beautiful vision. We will fly high together 89 trap, Rosa told me. She moved in with her daughter to help her with the kids. The rest of us, New Rosa sought refuge after her husband's death. My mother shook her head vigorously. But Mom, what's the harm of living in an illusion? To think you are the one who helps the generator of good will. Mom smiled. This is an excellent question. BV. Living in a fantasy tears you from the people you love. When you manipulate others, they feel it. Rosa's Children want her to be happy, so they pretend to believe her story. Once again, I was in awe of my mother's way of seeing patterns. Manipulation is not a smart tool. It hurts everyone. 90. Mom V. V. I'm so proud of your progress, The stories you write your relationship with Alex, your kabbalah studies. I know your everyday life is not always easy, but I see how much the work you do on yourself serves you. I said, I love you so much. I understand why women come to see you from afar. I realized how lucky I am to be your daughter. Your love is crystal clear when I hear about women who trust you with their marriage with their Children, with their emotions, I thank the creator for our bond. You are an exceptional woman. I'll do my best to earn your love. I saw tears coursing down mom's cheeks, and I touched the screen as if to drive them