Kid Comedians
Description
Vocal Characteristics
Language
EnglishVoice Age
Young Adult (18-35)Accents
North American (General)Transcript
Note: Transcripts are generated using speech recognition software and may contain errors.
Oh yeah, well, well, well, hello listeners, welcome to the first ever production of kid comedians for the next 20 minutes or so, I want you to sit back and enjoy laugh with amusement sighing and exasperation cringe at the well meant pure hearted attempts at humor and bask in the innocence of kid comedians. There is something to that, isn't there? The innocence of their hearts, The no shame of bloody daddy da, who cares if we have to explain it? It isn't funny. Sheesh. You think I'm going to go deep, nope. Moving on, roll it. How's that honest? That's funny. But you, hello officer, don't even make sense. No, I think, yeah. Um, what? Yeah, on stage one in this theater is story time. No rhyme, no rhythm, no reasons, just stories roll it. Do you have, it doesn't have to be a joke, Do you just have a funny story? But he didn't. However, two of my girls did Katie one time, my brother Clinton was with my grandma and he said, I have a loose tooth, but she thought it was tooth. And so she said, I want to see your loose tooth in Clinton was like, no. And on time me and my dad were in the car and we were passing a tree by Wichita and my dad and I were um and my mom were going to my grandma's house and I said it's and I think it's going to be an apple tree. And he was like, nope, it's gonna be in a crabapple tree and the whole way to my name is we kept on fighting over, it's an apple tree or a crabapple tree and I still think it's apple tree. Well I guess we'll never know if it was a crabapple tree or not. So thank you Katie. Um she Danielle, do you have a story? So once upon a time there was a little boy named little johnny. one day he went to school, he was walking to school and he hugged his mom and dad goodbye. He was walking on the sidewalk and then he saw an alleyway, he saw these two guys in the alleyway, he ducked behind a dumpster dumpster to hear what they were saying. They were talking about something little johnny didn't know about. So then he went to school and when he got to his classroom, but he, he was late of course because he was listening to the guys, but when he saw his teacher, his teacher asked little johnny, why are you so late? Little johnny said, I'm sorry man, I'm late because I was walking to school and these two guys were talking in the alleyway and I actually have a dumpster to hear what they were saying. The teacher asked what little Ronnie, what were they talking about? They were talking about? The purple phantom, the purple phantom go johnny go straight to the principal's office right now. Little johnny slouched and into the hallway dragged his back to the principal's office, there was the Principal Secretary, Regional secretary asked little johnny, Little johnny what have you done? Little johnny told The 2nd The Principal Secretary The Whole Story. And then this principal secretary asked him little johnny what were they talking about? They were talking they were talking about the purple phantom, the purple phantom. Littlejohn. I'm going to get the principal right now. You wait here and go to the office. So the old Ronnie would go to the office and put his bag in a chair and sat in a different chair and then the principal came in. Little johnny, what have you done? Well sir I was walking to school and these two guys were talking in the alleyway. I talked about him a dumpster to hear what they were saying. Well Lord led the principal asked what were they talking about? Little johnny said oh no First my teacher then this principal secretary. I'm not gonna get in more trouble by the principal. Little johnny. Well sir they were talking about yeah look the purple phantom. The purple phantom no john I'm going to get your parents right now. Hello johnny you go into the hall out the big door of the school and on the sidewalk. Then he saw a police car and a policeman there. The policeman saw little johnny and asked him so johnny why why are you so early from school? Oh I got in trouble. But the policeman. Little little johnny. Bill johnny, you're not a troublemaker, what did you do? He told him the whole story and then the policeman asked what were they talking about? Little johnny, little johnny said oh no not you. First my teacher then then the principal secretary then the principal not you. So then the policeman said they already tell me right there now or you're going to jail and then he said well they were talking about the purple phantom, the purple phantom no Jonah I'm gonna take her to the parents right now as fast as I can. Then the policeman put little johnny and handcuffs, took him home, knocked on the door very quickly and then when his mother opened the door she said johnny what happened, what is going on? And then the policeman said man you need to talk to your son and then he took the handcuffs off and then little johnny sat on the couch with his back. His mom closed the door. Is that on the couch with little johnny, little johnny what did you do? And he told him the whole story and then his mom asked well what were they talking about? No no. First my teacher then the principal secretary, then the principal then the police officer. I'm not gonna get more in trouble by my mom. Then his mom said to little johnny, little johnny, I love you, those guys don't love you as much of me. And then little johnny thought about it and said well mom they were talking about the purple phantom, the purple phantom go up to your room right now until your dad gets home and no supper. So he went upstairs to his room, put his bag on the bed and then he heard a car approach and he looked out the window, it was his dad, his dad came in through the door and he heard his mom saying you need to go talk to your son and then he stayed there a little bit, his dad stayed there a little bit longer and then he came upstairs. Well johnny I heard you guys fell from school, first your teacher, the principal secretary, then the principal, then the officer and then your mother. So little johnny told him the whole story. Then little johnny's dad asked him well what were they talking about? Little johnny, oh no. First my teacher, then the principal secretary, then the principles of the police officers and then mom, I'm not going to get more trouble about my dad. Then little johnny dad look at the little johnny and said you're gonna get way more trouble than before. And they thought about it and thought about it and thought about it for a couple of minutes and then he said well they were they were talking about the purple phantom, the purple phantom, you are no longer my son what? So when he was out the door with his bag, he his dad throughout some of his clothes and a suitcase and and he stepped and then he stepped off the sidewalk and wow, hit by a bus? The moral of the story is look before you cross the street. So do we ever find out what the purple phantom is? No, that's the misery. Thank you. Chef Danielle. Thank you. Thank you. Well folks, we're about 10 minutes in and I want to get to the next stage of this thing. So we're gonna go into the quick fire round, which is all my comedians just telling joke after joke after joke and then we will progress to the last stage. So I will see you in a second, enjoy this while we wait. Thank you. Welcome back. It is now time for the quick fire round. So here are we ago. How did the hair, shark doo on his test? He nailed it. What do you get when you cross a tiger with a sheep? A striped sweater? Why did the koala sit on the clock? It wanted to be on time. Which side of the cheetah has the most spots? The outside on which side does a tiger have the most stripes? It's just like the cheetah joke rough crowd. What's a koala's favorite drink? Coca cola. On which day do cheetahs eat their prey Tuesday? I don't get it. Okay. What's striped and bouncy a tiger on a pogo stick. Why did the koala across the road? Because it was the chicken's day off. Why did the koala across the road? I don't know because it was the chicken and their chicks stay off. What do you call an owl on wheels? A hooter scooter? Mm hmm. Yeah. Ah how does a cheetah change its spots when it gets tired of one spot it moves to another. How does a cheetah degree other animals on the plane pleased to eat you? What did the owl say when it was time to say goodbye. I'll be seeing you. Well folks, after some very good and very timely and very amusing and very thematically related to animals jokes from the quick fire round it is time to move on to the next event And this is the metal rounds. As we hear one final joke from each participant in the medal round. You should know that all give some and some give less than others. That's why there's a gold, silver and bronze. You don't just get medals for being here folks, you have to earn it. So starting at the bottom. Now we're here with the bronze is Miss Katie. Yeah. Mm hmm, mm hmm. Which cat should you never play cards with a cheetah and with the silver medal coming in second. Mr eli. Yeah. Mm hmm mm hmm. What do you call an owl with a sore throat? A bird that doesn't give a hoot. And now folks, for the gold medal recipient with the gold medal joke? MS cami. Mhm. What do you get when you cross a tiger with the snowman here. Cold tiger Frostbite. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Well, I wanna thank you all for listening and I want to thank my comedians for being so comedic. So that will wrap up the first ever debut production of kid comedians. If there are no other jokes, Are there any other jokes in the building? I have one. Ok, what joke do you have? What you call a soccer player? I don't know. I soccer goal. I don't think you understand the concept of a joke. What what you call a car that has blue lights. I don't know a blue car. Yeah, like that car. Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally got it. Thank you. Okay. Now if there are no jokes, I would like to think the production crew. Me. I would like to thank the writers. Me. I want to thank my comedians, Shania, Blando, cami brian, Katie follett and eli brian. And I want to thank you all for listening for maybe laughing for maybe crying either way. Thank you. So with that I want to wrap it up and bid everybody who's there, they're gonna take a survey. Okay guys, a Sousa who does that make? That's perfect. So I guess I need to think jojo brian as well. That's it folks, I'm done. Stop rolling it. Mhm