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Baloney with Gravitas

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Voice Over • Television Ad
149

Description

Absolute baloney: Bragado 5-Ply, a real man's toilet paper; Nu-Vile, blood transfusions for the rich and immoral; Dave's Audio Cylinderworks, the new vinyl!

Vocal Characteristics

Language

English (North American)

Voice Age

Middle Aged (35-54)

Accents

Canadian (West), US General American (GenAm), US South West (Texas)

Transcript

Note: Transcripts are generated using speech recognition software and may contain errors.
There's a treasure that lies between these cheeks, and there's only one roll of paper that can take care. Oh God, 05 Fly way. Make our pulp exclusively from old growth redwood. No recycling for us. That's because once you've dropped a first rate payload, you need a wife. That's redwood. Tough. Oh, God, 05 Play This ain't no kitten soft. We all worry Funny how the more secure we get, the more we seem to have its stake. Getting older used to be about getting closer, closer to freedom. Two goals to life. Now we want it back. That's where new vial comes in. New Vile provides tailor made transfusions of rich, rejuvenating blood drawn from only the healthiest babies on the market. New, vile. Get closer to life again at Dave's Audio Cylinder Work Sensor Raja Boutique. We custom handcraft wax cylinders of your favorite music so it can be enjoyed the way nature intended. Your listening experience will be so much richer when your favorite obscure cuts are not only underscored with the hiss of nature's background noise, but sprinkled with a boxy organic pops and scratches that only natural wax can provide.