Everything What's Wrong of Possums

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Description

Everything What's Wrong of Possums by David Mallory Ortberg

Vocal Characteristics

Language

English

Voice Age

Young Adult (18-35)

Accents

North American (General)

Transcript

Note: Transcripts are generated using speech recognition software and may contain errors.
you're a night ratboy the size of 1.5 cats. You have mistook it up entirely. The sizer species is supposed to be, and your head is too much a circle at the back end and appoint the front part like a drawing of an ice cream cone in a clown's hand. I don't care for that. Be a cat or be a rat, but don't be one of both. Or at least be a cat the size of a mouse. If you're going to do that, you're like the Joker of animals, but not even an original Joker. You're the Halloween guys who dress up is Heath Ledger so much 10 years ago, But you have really knives in your mouth. Your body's always wearing fingerless gloves you've got for on your forearms and yet naked fingers. Plus, there's your slavery new little ship tail. I hate it. People want to mix you up with the okay looking thing. What's in Australia? I'm not talking about Australia. I'm talking about you. Why are you always Watling across my porch, smiling like Templeton from Charlotte's Web? I didn't invite you over. Why don't I know what you eat? Quick time. Guess what does a possum eat? You have no idea. And neither do I. Is it fruit? Is it night dirt? Is it other rats? You lack gravitas. You asked. Hole. My full entirety of a reaction to you could be summed up thusly and following Chabon's not as in shavings, but rhymes with Haven't Chabon's I shove into You Shevin your whole in deal mint. I don't prize you. Clark holes into the dirt and hide yourselves there. Dirt is only to live in once you're dead and your angering Haiti's. Your tail is full of thoughts and intentions, and your mouth is full of murder your furs like Muppet for and I don't appreciate it. Your baby's clutch up on your back like a nest of pest pellets, and they crackle Scrabble onto your skin with a little fists. Knives, which is not how baby should behave. Babies ought into graspable ******. Human babies don't permanently breastfeed with their teeth and nails. A little vampire tots. The sound I always feel like you were making when I happen upon your workmen patches and I don't want you around me and for