Viking, First Person, Sarcastic, Adult
Description
Vocal Characteristics
Language
EnglishVoice Age
Middle Aged (35-54)Accents
North American (US General American - GenAM)Transcript
Note: Transcripts are generated using speech recognition software and may contain errors.
I'm going to go with my being so irate at Chloe that I wasn't paying attention to the band of marauding warriors bearing down on us riding some of the largest horses imaginable. I'm not really a quick thinker most of the time. Just being honest, my body has been classically conditioned over many years to wince upon hearing the words think fast since I was always hit with something after they were uttered, but when presented with life threatening situations like being attacked by a raiding band, I'm not actually that bad. The old fighter flight kicked in pretty quick, snatching up the spear in my gauntlet clad right hand. I rushed at the three men on heavy horses, reared back, hopped one step and launched it at them. The man I've been aiming for must have also been one of those guys who got hit when presented with a think fast maneuver because I got him in the left shoulder, d horsing him get away! I shouted at Chloe, a pointless gesture, considering she'd already bolted at the nearest warrior and somehow vaulted onto the back of his horse, surprising me, and especially the rider. Well, I mean, I know that I would have been surprised if some chicken and nazi coat jumped on the back of my horse, since the dude's face was shadowed by the heavy helm, he was sporting, the only inclination I had of his surprise was when he screamed and tried to throw a few elbows at his new riding partner. I also saw the dude turned out to be a dude ette, which was a real bust because I was too busy trying not to die to be able to enjoy the medieval girl fight that ensued once the both of them hit the ground and started rolling around in a tussle. Let me pause here, a moment to tell you whoever you are that normal soldiers after receiving a spear in the shoulder would be out for the count or at the very least, retreating. But Vikings are not your normal soldiers. The guy I hit was the first one to me, slashing at me with this huge great sword, which he was using in one hand, not the easiest thing to do, considering how much one of those things way I rolled to my left, managing to get my body out of the way of the wide blade, but not my long coat, which after my bout with the wounded warrior wasn't long anymore. I didn't have time to congratulate myself on yet another survival because the second man who was brandishing a spear tried to take a stab at me catching the weapon just below the spearhead. I gave it a hard tug as he rode past completely, pulling him off his horse. If you weren't so stubborn, I said, planting a foot on his armored chest and wrenching the spear from his hand. You learned to let go whirling around, I ran at the first attacker who still had the spear lodged in his shoulder, but just as I reared back to sail my second spear at him, an arrow buried in his throat. Ouch, A spear was one thing, but something told me that he wasn't about to just walk that one off. But you know what? The dude kept coming at me, his sword held high for an attack. What the heck dude? I shouted, taking a stance with my spear. I was glad when he fell almost 10 ft from me, it would have been a little embarrassing to maybe die at the hands of a man who was about to be dead himself. Be careful, Jericho Piper said, stepping to my right. Yeah, no kidding, I muttered Jericho, I heard Chloe scream spinning on my heel. I saw that the warrior woman, she tried to take down, didn't exactly want to go down without a fight. If Chloe being swung hard by her arm and doing a face plant in the snow, was anything to go by piper, I said, pointing at the woman who had produced a dagger and was about to pounce on Chloe with it, Piper knocked another arrow into her bow and sent it sailing. Her arrow struck true, bearing into the warrior chicks left leg. This slowed her down, but she still limped another few feet, grab Chloe out of the snow and put the dagger into her throat while using her as a body shield, Piper pulled another arrow and was about to draw when I placed a hand on her bow. Don't do it, pipe! I know you're good, but she can't die. Get my horse, said the warrior woman that held Chloe captive You with the glove. I held up my hands. Look, lady, we've all had a doozy of a day so far. So why don't you just put the dagger down my horse? She growled again, taking a step back and dragging Chloe with her? I saw the blade bite into skin and saw blood. All right, I told her starting in the direction of the war horse, almost 30 ft away, just take it easy. Once I'd snagged the reins of the semi skittish horse, I started toward the parlay. Well, I mean, I thought it was going to be a parlay anyway, you know, switched Chloe for the horse, but once I was standing 10 ft away, the warrior woman made it clear that the one holding the hostage is the one who makes the rules. She clicked her tongue and the horse started toward her when it arrived, and don't ask me how, because the stupid Goliath of a horse was in the way, she somehow climbed into her saddle in two steps and get this drag Chloe onto the horse with her. Before I knew it, the warrior chick had kicked her horse into gear and was bounding away with little Chloe lying across her saddle with a knife to the back of her neck. It took a few seconds for me to realize what had just happened when I saw Chloe's glove slipped from her hand during the tussle and land in the snow. Really? I shouted, whirling to piper, shoot her! I could hit your friend, she said, but I noticed she drew her arrow back, try and hit her horse or something, I said, waving at the quickly decreasing target like a maniac. You know? Arabians once believed horses to be sacred animals. They treated them with the utmost respect, let them stay in their houses, bathe them twice a day, and some even pray to them, piper wasn't an arab. She happened to be a viking and Vikings, if you don't know, eat their horses. The first arrow missed by a few feet and my practically jumping up and down the numbskull probably didn't help her shot because the second arrow missed two, and by that time Chloe and her captor were too far away. Just wow, I've been there for like literally 20 minutes and I'd already lost Chloe to enemy viking Raiders. Things weren't exactly looking good for the home team