Monty Python's Cheese Shop Sketch
Description
Vocal Characteristics
Language
EnglishVoice Age
Middle Aged (35-54)Accents
British (England - Cockney, Estuary, East End) British (England - South East - Oxford, Sussex) British (General)Transcript
Note: Transcripts are generated using speech recognition software and may contain errors.
Good morning. Good morning, sir. Welcome to the National Cheese Emporium. Ah, thank you, my good man. What can I do for you, sir? Well, I was sitting in the public library on Thurman Street just now, skimming through Rogue Harris by Hugh Walpole. And I suddenly came over all peckish Package is suri it? Yeah, I would agree. Like, ah, hungry in a nutshell. And I thought to myself a little fermented curd would do the trick. So I curtailed by wool pulling activities, sallied forth and infiltrated your place of purveyors to negotiate the venting of some cheesy comestibles. Come again? I want to buy some cheese. Oh, I thought you were complaining about the bouzouki player. Heaven forbid, I'm one who delights in all manifestations of the top Syrian use. Sorry, I like a nice tune you're forced to so he can go on planes? Most certainly. Now then, some cheese, please. My good man. Certainly, sir. What would you like? Well, how about a little red Leicester? I'm afraid. What? Fresher or Red? Leicester, sir? Oh, never mind. How are you? Until sit? I'm afraid we never had that idea. In the weeks we get a fresh on Monday. Fish dish, no matter. Well stout yeoman. Four ounces of carefully if you please. It's been an order. So for two weeks I was expecting it this morning. Not my lucky day, is it Bel Paese? Sorry, sir. Read Windsor normally. So yes. Today The van broke down. Ah, Stilton. Sorry. Emmons Alegria. No. Any Norwegian? Jarlsberg projects no little to no Lancashire. No white Stilton, No Danish brew, No double cluster, No Cheshire, no Dorset Blue. No re rock for pulled avec port. Salut. Savoia Support Carrier. The less Bressler. Gruesome. No. Come on, Bears. Perhaps we have coming. Well, Yes, you do. Excellent. Yes, It's, uh it's a bit runny. Well, I like it funny. Well, it's very running, actually. No matter. Fetch hither from Mars, Global France. I think it's a bit funnier than you like it. So I don't care how ******* running it is handed over with all speed. Oh, what now? The cats? Has he she So Gouda? No freedom. No Caithness? No smoked Austrian? No Japanese sage. Darby? No, sir. You do have some cheese, don't you? Of course, sir. To cheese shops. Are we got the No, No, don't tell me. I'm keen to guess. Fair enough, Wensley. Dale. Yes. Well, I'll have some of that. Oh, I thought you were talking to me, sir. Mr. Wensley Dale. That's my name. Greek feta are not as such. Gorgonzola, Parmesan mozzarella. No paper Cramer. No Danish bimbo. No. Check. Sheep's milk. No Venezuelan beaver cheese are not today, sir. No. How about cheddar? Well, we don't get much call for around here, so no, but it's the single most popular cheese in the world. Not around here, sir. And what is the most popular cheese around here? Ilchester, sir, is it? Oh, yes. It's staggeringly popular in this manner squad, is it? It's our number one best seller, sir. I see. Uh, it'll Chester a writer. All right. Okay. Have you got any he asked, expecting the answer. Now I'll have a look, sir. No, it's not much of a cheese shop. Is it finest in the district? Squire explained the logic underlying that conclusion. Please. Well, it's so clean. So it's certainly uncontaminated by cheese. You haven't asked me about Limburger, sir. Would it be worth it? Could be. Have you shut that bloody bouzouki up? Told you so. Have you got any Limburger? No figures Predictable, really? I suppose it was an act of purest optimism to pose the question in the first place. Tell me, Have you in fact got any cheese here at all? Yes. Really? No, sir. Not really, sir. You haven't? No, sir. Not scrap. I was deliberately wasting your time, sir. Well, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to shoot you right here, sir. What a senseless waste of human life. Yeah. Mhm, Yeah.