Note: Transcripts are generated using speech recognition software and may contain errors.
The only advice anyone had given me about meeting with Lauren was, Whatever you do, don't finish his sentences. When I was eventually ushered into his office, I sat down, determined not to blow it, Lauren said. So you're from it seemed to hang there forever. Why wasn't he finishing the question If I answered now with this count is my talking over him. I couldn't remember how normal human speech patterns worked. Another five seconds went by and still no more sentence from Lorne. Oh, God. When I flew back to Chicago the next day, they were going to say, How was your meeting with Lorne Michaels? And I would reply, he said. So you're from. And then we sat there for an hour, and then a girl came in and asked me to leave. The baby grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was two years old and he ran all around the house. He pulled all the books off the shelves. He pulled all the food out of the refrigerator, and he took his mother's watch and flushed it down the toilet. Sometimes, his mother would say, This kid is driving me crazy. But at night, when that two year old was quiet and if he was really asleep, she picked him up and rocked him. Back in the fourth while she rocked him, she sang, I'll love you forever. Ah, like you for always. As long as I'm living my baby, you'll be You know, you're kind of squeamish for such a lethal person, says Pita, as I beat the shorts clean between two rocks. I wish I'd let you give Hey much a shower. After all, I wrinkle my nose at the memory. What's he sent you so far? Not a thing, says Pita. Then there's a pause as it hits him. Why did he send you something? Burn medicine, I say almost sheepishly. Oh, and some bread. I always knew you were his favorite, says Pita. Please, he can't stand being in the same room with me, I say, because you're just alike, mutters Pita. I ignored, though, because this really isn't the time for me to be insulting. Hey Mitch, which is my first impulse