Bad guys short read
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EnglishVoice Age
Young Adult (18-35)Accents
North American (General)Transcript
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Good evening. Everybody back here at Cassie's Cozy corner with my guest, God Toby. And we're reading book number four. The bad guys in attack of the Zits by Aaron Blabby. Are you ready Toby? Yeah, emergency broadcast zombie kitten invasion attack of the Zits. Good evening. If there's anyone still out there, please listen carefully. Tiffany Fluff channel six news, billionaire mad scientist, Doctor Rupert Marmalade has unleashed an army of zombie kittens, commonly known as Zins and no one is safe. The even the television station has been surrounded. I'm not sure how much longer will be on the air, but I'll tell you what we know the zits are furry and super cute but absolutely deadly. Make no mistake. They will try to eat, eat you. But here are a few things that may help you escape top tips for surviving the kitten apocalypse. First, many of them wear little bells. If you hear a cute little bell run and hide, think go think, go tinkle second. They do not like water. Water is your best defense. It really annoys them. It can sometimes make them go away, splash and finally they are easily distracted by balls of yarn. If you come across a zit, tossing them a ball of yarn is your best chance of escape. However, if you encounter a whole litter of zits, none of this will help you. If you are attacked by a litter, there is only one thing you can do. Run as fast as you can crash. Oh, no, they're inside. This has been Tiffany fluff for channel six news and you can take it from me. This situation is very, very bad. Chapter one. Not good guys. Just remember. It could be worse, worse. Ok. That is it. I say we throw them the wolf so the rest of us can make a run for it. Stop moving around. You're making the water splash out of the kitty pool. Yeah. Cut it out, Mr Snake. That water is the only thing between us and those tiny flesh eating monsters. Well, you'd know all about tiny flesh eating monsters, wouldn't you? Like you can talk Mr, I eat mice and any other cute little family pets. Cut it out guys. Don't forget who we are. We're the good guys club. Seriously again with that stupid name. Sorry. I mean, we're the sort of international league of heroes type guys and we never run away from a fight like this would, we, we can't run. We, we're surrounded and maybe that's a good thing. What this gives us another chance to be awesome, doesn't it? Ok. I've changed my mind. Let's throw them the wolf. No, no. Listen, Doctor Marmalade, that rotten little billionaire Guie Pig created this army of Zins for one reason and one reason only what reason so that we can defeat them and say in your face, Doctor Marmalade, actually, you know what guys I'm with you. Let's throw them the wolf. No, wait, I think I hear something. Don't try to protect him. Mr Wolf needs to go be a hero one last time. Hush up. Slimy. What do you hear? Legs? It sounds like like what? Like like what does it sound like the claws of a zombie kitten poking a hole in our kitty pool? No, it sounds more like a, it's agent Fox. Nice to see you gentlemen. Climb aboard. She saved us again. Yeah. Saved by a girl twice. This is embarrassing. Embarrassing. What's wrong with you Chico? We're lucky to know such a strong, powerful. Yes, we are. Oh, please. Oh, one small thing, Mr Wolf. Anything. Would you mind grabbing one of those zits for me? That'd be marvelous. Oh. Uh sure. Anything for you. Agent Fox. Um, ok. Here. Kitty kitty kitty. Yeah. Pow pouch. Uh Oh, did he get one, Mr Piranha? Oh, yes, Rita. I think he's just calming it down with a cuddle. Chapter 22 places at once. It be my nose. I'm going to turn into a zombie. No, they're not infectious Mr Wolf, but he will try to eat you. So try to be careful until I get us to our destination. Oh, what a re oh, what destination are we going? What destination? Where are we going? Legs? Can you take the controls? You got it. Gentlemen. I know someone who might be able to help with the zit situation. Her name is Granny Gumbo. And if we can bring her a live zit, there's a chance she can create an antidote and turn them all back into normal kittens. An anecdote. Well, that sounds tremendous. Unfortunately, it's not that simple. It never is. I need to get this zit to granny gumbo, but I also need to keep following doctor Marmalade. Trouble is I can't be in two places at once. So Mr Shark and Mr Piranha. Yeah, I need your help. Why us? Because you two can swim. I've managed to track Marmalade to an island 50 miles off the coast of Costa Rica. I need you to swim out there in secret and keep an eye on him and I hope you don't mind, but I would recommend wearing a disguise. Mind you just made my day. I'm in um Mr Prana. You seem troubled is everything. Ok. Uh I might have a slight problem. What, I'm a freshwater fish, so I'm not supposed to swim in the ocean. It could be really bad for my tummy. Are you kidding? What is the point of a fish that won't go in the water? I'm not saying I won't, I'm just saying, I'm just not a big fan of salt water. Hermano. You're a fish. I'm a freshwater fish. So let me get this straight. You and Moby **** over here walk around like it's the most normal thing in the world, but you're worried about getting a little salt in your gills. Hm. I was actually wondering how you managed to walk around so much myself. Not that it's any of my business. Don't worry, Piran, I'll get you to that island safely and just for the record, if we want to walk around, we walk around, got it. Whatever. Just don't get any salt on the freshwater flour over here. That's it. I've gotta eat that ugly son of a tactile pillar. Hey, take it easy fellas. Agent Fox can hear you. Try to be a little cool. Will you? Oh, my face. It's got my face. Yeah, sure. We'll, we'll try to be cool just like you legs. Take us lower. Mr Shark. This is your stop and Mr Piranha, it's your choice. I'll do it. You can count on me that guinea pig won't get away from us. Good for you. Piranha. I'll be thinking of you and I sure hope you don't get us salted. Oh, I'm going to teach you a lesson. You write a little bag of splash bag of what? Cut it out? Snake, Agent Fox. We are at your service and I want you to know that granny gumbo zit is in good hands. Uh Sure he's an idiot but he's our idiot. Chapter three. Granny legs. Stay close. I'll contact you when it's time to pick us up. I hear you. Agent Fox. Stay safe guys. Thanks legs. But Agent Fox, where are we? Exactly? This is Granny Gumbo's warehouse. Now, I should warn you. Granny is a little bit. Oh, so you might want to leave the talking to me. Yeah. Yeah. What s hey, look, it's open. Yo. Oh lady. Where's the milk and cookies? Grab? Look what's making a ruckus in my partner? A sweet tasty grub. Yummy, yum, yum. Yum. I'm gonna eat you up. Oh dear. Oh, you sure gonna taste good. Good. Oh God, I splurge. Please grab bless you granny. Who is that? Is that you Mrs Fox? I do declare but what are you doing? Bringing a flea bitten mutt dog into my parlor? You know, I'm allergic to mut dogs. I do apologize granny but I was rather hoping. Oh, never mind because you brought me a sweet treat to munch. Hey, get this crazy old alligator off me. Hush your mouth. Grub. Good gracious. You are sure hard to chew. Seriously. Wait a minute. Where's my teeth on my face? Granny? Give me back my Chapas mut dog. Granny. I'm sorry to interrupt. But do you remember when we talked about finding a zombie kitten? Antidote? Antidote? What's antidote? Oh, for this thing? Of course, I remember I've got my special brew cooking right now. As a matter of fact, marvelous granny. Now, I just need a pinch of fur Sprinkle Sprinkle. Hold this trouble is to finish my antidote. I need a squirt of snake bite venom. But where am I going to find me some snake bite venom at this hour? Well, wolf, don't you dare hush your mouth. Grub. What's that? You're saying? Mutt dog? I think you'll find all the venom you need right there in that grub granny. Well, I do declare, I believe you're right. This may not low down snake in the grass will do nicely. Now you listen to me hush child and who would steal? Wait a minute lady. Have you been professionally trained by a vet to extract venom? No, but I've got real good aim with this here, frying pan. Um It looks like he got hit in the head with a frying pan. Chapter four. The master of disguise. Ok. Open your eyes. Uh OK, I give up. Why are you dressed like a unicorn? What? Oh, sorry. Hang on. Let me change the angle. Tara. Oh, I get it. You're a dolphin man. You are so good at disguises. Yes, I am. I got. No, no, no. Why are you naked Chico? When was the last time you saw a dolphin wearing clothes? Well, never, but you've been spending too much time with that bear. But spider legs. That's what I think. Why he not dolphin. He do you know he's a dolphin? See how is he build a bridge and get over it? Little buddy. I'm as free as a dolphin and loving it. I know I'm going to regret asking this. But why do you have a bowl on your head? Chico? Because this little dolphin has a pet goldfish named Mindy. I hope you're not saying what I think you're saying. Get in the fish bowl, Mindy. Are you out of your mind? You want me to pretend to be a goldfish named Mindy? No, you're getting in it when I'm finished with you. No one will recognize you. We'll find Marmur and you won't get a drop of salt water on you. I refuse to be naked. She go, I won't do it. Calm down and put this on. We're running out of time. Mommy moments later. This is so humiliating man. No one is going to believe this. Get up. Oh Yeah. Hey guys, I'm really excited to take my pet goldfish, Mindy to see this island with a creepy guinea pig on it, but I'm not sure where it is. You don't know how to find it. Do you? Oh I do. Yeah. So do I, we could take you there. Come on, friend. Follow us. Come on Mindy. This will be fun. Don't you ever question one of my disguises again? Never Hermano. I swear. Never again. Chapter five, the antidote. What, what happened? Hello, Mr Snake. I'm glad to see you're feeling better. It was very kind of you to donate some venom granny. Really appreciates it. Donate. She just clued me with a frying pan. She's completely insane. Whoa. There. Take it easy. Good buddy. I'm sure Agent Fox knows what she's doing. Oh, well, if you say so, you love struck buffoon, then it must be true. Actually, perhaps we could get granny to clobber him just one more time. I must apologize for granny. Her methods are highly unusual, but I promise you, Mr Snake. She is a genius. Oh, really? Is that why? She's got her head up a roast turkeys butt. Good gracious. Where did everybody go? I can't see. Oh, two donk fling, I can see. Oh, yeah. She's a genius. All right. Hush your mouth rub and pass me one of them balls of yawn. It's time for the granny gumbo show. Wow. Why do you have so much yawn? Granny. I make it from the hair of all the dogs I eat. I thought you were allergic to mutt dogs. Yeah. But they taste good. So I can't help myself crash scratch, scratch. Oh, no sentence. We're surrounded. Brilliant. Now we're going to die in here with this toothless lunatic. Hold it together, gentlemen. Granny. It's time I hear you mutt dog. Catch flat. Ah, now watch this dunk here. Kitty Splunk. Bounce, numb, numb, numb meow punk. Oh, my stars. It actually works. You are a genius. Granny fart. What? Did you say I'm sorry to poop on your party? But if we walk out there, those things will tear us to pieces before we toss even one ball of wool. There's just too many of them. Yes. Grub. That's true. But who said anything about walking? I say we load up on the big boy and take him for a spin. What do you say? Granny gumbos, all natural herbs and potions, semi truck. Chapter six. Trouble on Guinea Pig Island. Here's the island guys. It's awesome. Wow. Those dumplings are so cute and friendly. Yeah, I still feel weird that they're all new though. We don't do skinny dipping in Bolivia Hermano. I know it's an ocean thing you'll get used to it. Can you see anything yet? No, Chico, I'm worried. We're too late. It looks totally deserted. Maybe. Wait, wait a minute. Look my arm. What's he doing up there? That looks like a, hey, guys, let's play a game. Yeah. Let's see. Who can jump the highest point? Hey, keep it down. We don't want him to see us. I can really jump high. Me too. Jumping is fun. Boo boo boo boo. Cut it out too late. He's gone. Where did he go? I can't see him. This isn't good, man. I thought dolphins were supposed to be smart. That's just a myth. Some of them are really stupid. I love jumping. Let's jump some more. So, what are we going to do now? Should we go up there and look for him? Uh, oh, somehow I don't think we need to go. What was that? Boom. So, where do you suppose he's going? Chapter seven. Keep on trucking. Ok. Gentlemen. Are we ready to go? Nearly? I just need to tie in these pillows. What are you doing? Wolf? We're good guys. Remember. We don't want to hurt any kittens. We want to save all the kittens. These cushion, sand pillows will make sure that none of them get hurt as we plow through them at high speed. Yeah, that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. You made a perfectly cool truck look ridiculous. That's just one snake's opinion. I think it looks great. If by great, you mean dumb then yes, it looks great. Quit. Yeah. Yeah. And then get up here. It's time to hit the road. Remember, boys, I'll drive the truck. You throw the yarn. There are thousands of zits. So this isn't going to be easy. But if anyone can do it, we can. You're so awesome. I mean, I just love you. I mean, I think you're the coolest, I mean. Yeah. No. Yeah. And the winner of the most embarrassing speech award goes to, don't listen to him, Mr Wolf. I think you're great. Ok, boys. Let's roll, crash dunk and roll its dunk and throw. Oh, man, there's millions of them. There's too many. You got us into this. Just keep throwing. Boys. Can you hear me? Yes. Agent Fox. What can we do for you? The zits are spread out wider than we thought we need to find a way to throw the yarn farther. Oh, yeah. And how do you suggest we do that? Don't worry, Agent Fox, I'll think of something. You look lovely today, by the way. Oh, Barf, thank you, Mr Wolf. Wolf and Fox sitting in a tree. A K I S SI N G S stuff. Wait a minute. That gives me an idea. Hm. That's it. Whatever you're doing, Mr Wolf, keep it up. Oh, no, you don't. You're not going to use me as a catapult again. I forbid it. I stuff, stuff, stuff, nonsense. This is your moment to shine little buddy. The question is how many balls of yarn does it take to stuff a snake? Quite a few as it turns out? Oh, look at that big juicy grub. He's making me feel a bit peckish. Hey, kitties. Come on, get it. That's brilliant. Mr Wolf, you've done it. Nothing can stop us now. Mm. Much. Hey, where's snake in my belly? My dog. Oh, yes. Indeedy. Wolf. Get me out of here. You ate snake. What is wrong with you? I'm hungry. That's what? And I'm fixing to eat. Miss a mutt dog too. At you bonk. Oh, no, swerve. Boom. Any last words? Wolf? Agent Fox? Seriously? You really like her that much? No. Look, Agent Fox and look who else? Legs, legs. I'm certainly glad to see you. Can I be a pest and ask you to aim our section holes at those bolts of yarn while I fly the plane? Sounds good to me. Yeah. Yeah. Ok. That should do it. Now, let's put a stop to this nonsense, shall we? Ka? Ka, ka, ka, ka, ka, ka, ka, ka, ka, ka, we did it. Uh, Mr Else, you didn't really think it would be that easy? Did you normally the bad penny? Chapter eight? Hi, everybody listen carefully because I have a special private message just for you. Aren't you lucky? First of all, congratulations on surviving. Phase one of my little plan. Phase one. I don't like the sound of this. Sure. A few kittens is one thing. But imagine if I had a weapon so powerful that it could turn every cute and cuddly creature on the planet into a ruling weapon of destruction. Wouldn't that just be awesome? He's lying. He doesn't have a weapon like that. That's impossible. Is it? Well, let me introduce you to the cute Zilla Ray. Mr Wolf. Just imagine a world where every puppy bunny pony and dolphin could be changed just by pulling one little lever zap into an evil diabolical, totally offensive zippy Zanny zone. Or come on, Mindy. Let's get out of here. Stop calling me Mindy. Everything cute has turned into a brut. That's my slogan. Isn't it clever? I hope you will all enjoy your final day on earth? Oh, and to the International League of Heroes in your face, losers? Oh, yeah, that's how I roll. And by the way, I'd get away from those. Its, if I were you because no antidote on earth will help you this time. Oh, well, that's all from me. So I wouldn't want to be here. And they call me crazy chapter nine a bit farther than expected. With 10 4. No, look good to see you guys. Legs. Get us out of here. Cheap ghost. Thank you, my friends. But listen, everyone is in danger. Marmalade took off in a rocket and our dopey little dolphin buddies turned into monsters and we know nice bikini. By the way, it's not just dolphins, Mr Piranha, it's kittens and puppies, all things cute. I'm afraid the world is doomed unless, unless we save it. But how we don't even know where the cute zilla rate is. I think I might know legs. Well, the only way he'd be able to use it over the whole planet is if he's beginning it from space, we saw him leave the planet in a rocket. Ok. Well, there's only one place he can land isn't there. Oh, legs. You are right. The only way we can find them and destroy that weapon is to get to where, where do we have to get Mr Piran? We have to get to the, the moon to be continued. The bad news. The world is ending. The good news, the bad guys are back to save it. Sure. They might have to borrow a rocket and there might be something nasty in one of the space suits and Mr Prana might have too many bean burris. But seriously, how bad can it be? How bad, super bad. It's one small step for the sort of international league of good guys guys. It's one giant leap for the bad guys in intergalactic gas. Tune in for the next time and have a great evening.