Recorded on Audio-Technica AT2020 directly into Adobe Audition using mic pre-amp Behringer U-Phoria 2M2 (for XLR-USB/phantom power conversion).
Young Adult (18-35)
North American (General)
Note: Transcripts are generated using speech recognition software and may contain errors.
When books are your life or in my case, your job, you get pretty good at guessing where a story is going, the tropes, the archetypes, the common plot twists all start to organize themselves into a catalog inside your brain divided by category and genre. The husband is the killer. The nerd gets a makeover and without her glasses, she's smoking hot. The guy gets the girl or the other girl does, someone explains a complicated scientific concept and someone else says um in English, please the details may change from book to book, but there's nothing truly new under the sun. Take for example, the small town love story, the kind where a cynical hot shot from New York or Los Angeles gets shipped off to small town usa to like run a family owned Christmas tree farm out of business to make room for a soulless corporation. And while said city person is in town, things don't go according to plan because of course the Christmas tree farm or bakery or whatever the hero has been sent to destroy is owned and operated by someone ridiculously attractive and suitably available for wooing back in the city. The lead has a romantic partner, someone ruthless who encourages him to do what he's set out to do and ruin some lives in exchange for a big promotion. He fields, calls from her during which she interrupts him barking heartless advice from the seat of her Peloton bike. You can tell she's evil because her hair is an unnatural blonde slicked back on a Sharon stone and basic instinct. And also she hates Christmas decorations. As the hero spends more time with the charming baker slash seamstress slash tree farm person, things change for him. He learns the true meaning of life. He returns home, transformed by the love of a good woman. There, he asks his ice queen girlfriend to take a walk with him. She gapes says something like in these. It'll be fun. He tells her on the walk, he might ask her to look up at the stars. She snaps. You know, I can't look up right now. I just got Botox and then he realizes he can't go back to his old life. He doesn't want to. He ends his cold, unsatisfying relationship and proposes to his new sweetheart who needs dating at this point. You find yourself screaming at the book. You don't even know her. What's her middle name? ***** from across the room? Your sister Libby Hushes you throws popcorn at your head without lifting her gaze from her own crinkly covered library book. And that's why I'm running late to this lunch meeting because that's my life, the trope that governs my days, these archetypes over which my details are superimposed. I'm the city person, not the one who meets the hot farmer, the other one.
Girl Next Door, Yuppie, Millennial, Regular Joe, Real Person, Amusing, Attitude, Authentic, Believable, Confessional, Engaging, Humorous, Natural, Trustworthy, Witty, North American (General)