This audition was submitted for the audiobook project Unlocking the Secrets to Successful Parenting: An Easy-to-Follow Guide for Raising Confident, Happy, and Successful Kids authored by James Dudelson.
Middle Aged (35-54)
North American, US General American (GenAm)
Note: Transcripts are generated using speech recognition software and may contain errors.
What do you expect? We want our Children to be healthy, happy and successful as they grow up. We want them to be well behaved and loving. Some parents have more specific goals in mind. They may want their child to become a doctor, lawyer. Internet entrepreneur, plumber in the family business, basketball player or Hollywood star stop for a minute and ask yourself what can I really expect from or for my child? What does my child want? What are my child's talents and capabilities? Ask yourself to, what will the world be like when my child is ready to go out on their own? That's not an easy one. Things are changing so fast. You can't be sure In the year 2000 who would have predicted that today's students should be prepared for careers as virtual assistants, bloggers, web usability designers, web analysts and online community managers, not me. As soon as they are able get the Children involved in creating routines. If the Children are involved in creating routines, they will have a sense of agency, a feeling of control over their actions and the consequences of failing to follow through research backs this up as reported in the american Journal of lifestyle medicine. Good routines have many benefits. They improve your Children's ability to self regulate, helping them recognize and master their feelings. For instance, getting out of bed on time even though they'd rather sleep in the security of routines helps kids better handle the other challenges and stressors, they will experience in their day routines provide a foundation for good mental health family routines are linked to the development of social skills, success in school and the ability to handle stress. A childhood routine is more than a schedule. It's a set of predictable, accessible rules for how to accomplish certain things, praise things your child can control. How often have you heard someone say to a child, you're so pretty or that's so smart. There's no need to tell your daughter she's pretty or your son. He's smart. The world will tell them that the most powerful way to praise your child is to focus on things your child can control rather than saying you look pretty, say you chose a nice outfit for school today. Being pretty is an accident of nature. So being praised for that may feel undeserved, but being praised for putting together a good outfit for school is an aspect of appearance your daughter can control instead of saying to your son, you're so smart or what great grades say I know you work hard and deserve these grades. If you praise the result instead of the process, he may feel that he's loved for the grades. Then if he gets a bad grade, he might feel anxious about your love discipline. The behavior, not the emotion. I read a lot of online blogs about parenting and I recently saw a story about a dad who lost control with his three year old son who wouldn't go to bed. It was before bedtime. The dad had been teaching his son not to hit, but the son got angry and punched his dad in the leg. The dad got angry, picked up the boy and rushed through their nighttime routine, turning out the lights, the dad started to close the door without telling his son I love you the way he usually did. But just as the dad was leaving the room he heard a small whisper, he went back in to ask his son what he had said and the son quietly repeated his part of the routine. I love you dad. The dad went back into the room and cuddled his son. He told him he loved him too and that he was a good boy. Even though hitting is a bad thing to do this. Dad had established a strong loving bedtime routine with his son. The son held onto that routine to help himself feel better, which helped the dad as well. My experience of parenting spanned seven decades. I grew up in the fifties, came of age in the sixties, married in the seventies and my first two Children in the eighties raised them into the late nineties when they left for college, married and started families of their own and into the 21st century with the birth of my youngest, Aaron, Who is now eight years old. Looking back the 50s were a kind of parenting paradox. It was both a stricter time yet on the other hand, a more liberal time for kids. I played outside without a parent watching my every move. I walked to school by myself which I started to do at age five when we lived in Iowa. Besides learning the basic rules of never talk to a stranger and never take candy from a stranger even if it's candy you love. I never felt threatened by the world out there. What really scared me was the wait until your dad gets home. I got from my mom when I misbehaved boy, would that put the fear of God in me. I knew it would be a bad evening. I would fearfully wait for when my father got home. Then as soon as he had a moment to take off his hat and put down his briefcase, my mom would take him into the bedroom to discuss with him what jimmy had done wrong? I would try to listen outside their door. Then when my parents were done talking I would make a beeline for my room. I felt like a prisoner awaiting sentencing. My father would come in with a stern look on his face and slowly start taking off his belt. I envied kids whose fathers were suspenders