Comedy Monologue Sample (English)
Description
Vocal Characteristics
Language
EnglishVoice Age
Young Adult (18-35)Accents
Italian (American) North American (General)Transcript
Note: Transcripts are generated using speech recognition software and may contain errors.
no, I'm not, I'm not here to propose to you again. You said no and I can respect that decision. I'm still fine with us seeing other people like you suggested uh, not not here to like win you back. It's totally cool. But I've been thinking a lot about what you said that night. Not that I'm not ready that I need to grow up and that I'm not a man and you want a man. I, I've been thinking about it and I wanted you to know, I think I figured out how to fix that um issue my bar mitzvah. So my transformation from boy to man at the age of 13, I don't forget got it right. Um, I remember stuttering when I read the Chama and my chanting, especially during the hot fra as I call my bubble, telling me it was a little off key. So I'm thinking maybe due to that, I didn't enter manhood properly or perhaps I missed the entrance altogether or perhaps God locked the entrance, you know, because he couldn't understand the Torah portion through my heavy lisp anyway, since then I've really grown up a lot. I mean according to you, not into a real man, but I mean, I don't stutter, I don't lisp um granted I still sing off key, but then it hit me and this is genius. Okay, brace yourself, seriously, hold onto the door frame or something. What if I got bar mitzvahed again. What if I got re bar mitzvah wide, I could nail it this time, just knocked the bar mitzvah out of the synagogue. So I've been studying Hebrew went to the rabbi these last six weeks been training intensely. I mean karate kid training, you know, not just reading the Torah, but wax on wax off still like going to saturday services making felt the fish from scratch, learning to drive a hard bargain at the grocery. I even went back to Hebrew school and stood up to the current bully there, granted the kid was 4 11 but my heart was still pounding like crazy and after all that, I can feel it. I'm ready, ready for man land ready to pay a mortgage, take out a four oh one K and sell insurance or cars or be a banker or something and and like father some kids. I'm charged, I'm pumped and tomorrow is my big day. tomorrow, 13 years after my first apartment. So I'm going to do it again and it's going to rock tomorrow before your eyes and my family's may bubble rest in peace. I will become a man. I will step up in that dilemma and you will witness my transformation. So uh anyhoo that's why I'm here. I just wanted to uh hand deliver the invitation to my bart mitzvah. We're doing a nice little reception after we'll have a DJ should be a dancing part. Uh, maybe they'll play our song or not. And uh, oh no, you you don't need to bring a gift. I know it's on short notice and if you could just fill up this little card, chicken or fish, thanks for not slamming the door on me like last time. Oh, all right. I'll see you tomorrow.