Young Upbeat Female Storytelling Voice - Podcast Example
Description
Vocal Characteristics
Language
EnglishVoice Age
Young Adult (18-35)Accents
North American (General) North American (US New York, New Jersey, Bronx, Brooklyn)Transcript
Note: Transcripts are generated using speech recognition software and may contain errors.
for so long. Mental illness has been viewed as a burden. Something that was not meant to be accepted by the status quo, but not here I am Isabel a writer and producer living and thriving with mental illness I am here to show young people that you can have both. Depression, anxiety, O. C. D. Whatever your diagnoses are and a successful, happy fulfilling life through personal narrative and exclusive interviews with top performers in their niches. I'm hoping to inspire the next generation to change the way we view and talk about mental illness with the right tools, tips and tricks. I want to help others be themselves loudly and live their life as authentically as possible. Even if your brain chemicals are all out of whack too. Ever since I was born in Frankfurt Germany on a warm summer day in june I knew that I was different to be honest. I was different in a lot of ways being a middle child. Gemini with a love of dramatics and a never ending drive for greatness. That is. But it was also something else that made me feel out of place. A feeling deep in my belly and no, it wasn't the everything bagel with cream cheese that I ate despite being lactose intolerant, although that probably didn't help staring down an escalator at five years old, terrified of taking that next step. I felt it. I thought that if I stepped forward my shoelace would get caught and I would be dragged down the steps. My small body breaking as easily as a twig in winter. Oh and I was wearing slip ons at around 12 years old. My mother helped me name this feeling which from here on out shall be referred to as my uh oh! Feeling For many with anxiety. This is familiar. It would come to me 10 minutes after the lights went out at a sleepover, worrying about what might happen to me while everyone is asleep or moments before an exam that I didn't study for, where I just knew I was going to fail. It kept me on the edge of my seat for my entire childhood and well into my teens and early twenties goodness. Even now, my own feeling is my most powerful tool I have for catching my anxiety in real time, but more on that later. If my age didn't make it obvious. I grew up in the early two thousand's and boy oh boy was I immersed I had my bat mitzvah in 2000 and nine the same year that a friend and I dressed up as paris and Nicole richie for Halloween. And by the time I was in high school I was already addicted to instagram. It was during this time when I began to notice how mental illness was depicted all around me. In front of my very eyes. I watched my favorite stars like Miley Demi Selena Amanda lindsey. The list goes on and on, struggle with anxiety, depression, and other mental illnesses, but be called drug addicts and lunatics like if Brittany was being called crazy then what was I? I may not have shaved my head but I did chop it off and diet a bunch of different colors. Same, same you know. But just like any good superhero origin story. And yes I am calling myself a superhero. Just let me be rather than letting this injustice deteriorate me. I was instead inspired to speak openly and freely about my struggles. My mother would say that I didn't know how to keep things to myself. But regardless I was ready to challenge the status quo and damn anyone who tried to stop me. I've never been afraid to be myself. At least when it came to how I presented myself online right now. There's a mental health crisis in our country, especially for young people between the joke that is the U. S. Health care system and the fact that the self care industry is now even a thing. Young people are struggling for support especially with the pandemic. According to an academic report from Baylor University, the COVID-19 pandemic surged mental health concerns and has disproportionately impacted women and girls. Not only that, but according to cares rapid gender analysis. The number of women who reported mental health impacts from COVID-19 was three times that of men. The bottom line is that people are suffering especially young women and they're searching for relief support or even just acknowledgement that they are not alone. Well here I am. You're not alone between friendship breakups and abusive relationships. I let my mental illness rule my life invisibly from the outside. My life looked beautiful. Living in Israel London and new york with internships and jobs at cosmos CNN Loreal, N. Y. U. But internally I was falling apart, blaming myself telling myself that I was the problem, but only those closest to me saw the truth or rather the terrible panic attacks that left me hunched over the toilet drenched in sweat. But even when I was thinking about death, like planning my funeral in my head, I still continued to excel and succeed in my professional career upon reflecting it kind of seems like I was using the hustle and attempt to self validate my existence but I'm still kind of digging into that between having a panic attack in the bathroom at a Maybelline photoshoot and navigating my extreme social anxiety at new york fashion week, my life appeared to be all fun and games while under it all I was a mess. Just call me a walking tornado of chaos with a really polished internet presence. Looking back at my old journals, I was constantly searching for answers in the pages about why I was the way that I was. But I always came up short sidebar, this is a pun because I am in fact very short For the 1st 23 years of my life, I knew that I was mentally ill. In theory, I mean, I could feel it, but no one ever told me exactly what was happening to me. So logically, the conclusion that I came to and believed until only really a few years ago was that I was broken and I deserved all the ****** things that happened to me, which spoiler I don't and no one does. While you will learn a lot about me and my story on this podcast, what you really need to know is that eventually things changed. I was tired of letting my mental illness ruin my life and I figured this after I hit rock bottom, fresh out of N. Y. U. Working full time as a marketer and Maybelline and newly single from my four year college relationship, I was lost. I had a lot of moments that year that should have broken me, but it wasn't until I found myself in a sticky situation involving a bartender, a baby and a baby mama where I collapsed under the weight of it all. I was also struggling with my internalized biphobia and the choices I was making in my personal life did not reflect my values, but taking care of myself was so far from my radar that I had no idea how to say no set boundaries or even be nice to myself. When that relationship ended, I was filled with a mix of pain, dread yet optimism for the first time. The pain was deep and cruel enough for me to recognize that maybe I didn't deserve what happened to me, even if I had trouble regulating my emotions and my reactivity was less than ideal. I still deserve to be happy and live a life that was meaningful and I was determined to make it happen. It was time to prioritize me. Little did I know that this meant doing actual work and looking inward, something that seemed terrifying. But I was ready at least according to a journal entry from a meditation retreat, I did one week post breakup. I wrote, If I could title this next chapter in my life, I would name it about me. I've never been alone and focused on myself. I need this so much. The last chapter would be called the Breaking Point. The last chapter ended with me giving everything to someone who never asked for anything. But the next chapter, that's going to be a good one in my ideal world. I am happy without any strings or baggage. Just happy. I want to feel full and filled up. I want to wake up every day and be happy with who I am and what I am doing with my life. I just want to be okay. I want to create something that I am proud of. I want to know that I did something just for myself, but mainly I want to fall in love with me again. The next day I booked a meditation retreat specifically for victims of heartbreak. Yes, that's a real thing and my road to healing began a few months after the breakup. An opportunity came up. Okay fine. I really pushed for it for me to move to the west coast to start a new job with urban decay. I love new york with all my heart, but if I was really going to heal myself, I needed to do it in a place where the sun always shined and we're doing laundry. Didn't feel like climbing masada at the time. I was also in my first queer situation trip and I had started seeing a new psychiatrist. Things were really looking up for me, but this was still my chance to start fresh and see what else was out there. Life had to exist out of new york. It had to, so with new medication, a proper diagnosis of borderline personality disorder and an aching heart. I packed up my small room in Bushwick and moved to Newport beach California. I was ready to eat, pray love all over Orange County. Immediately upon arrival, things felt different. I was probably severely vitamin D deficient, but I think it was something more. Here's a journal entry from that first week, there is a certain piece here. I feel that I haven't felt in a long time. The light is softer, the wind blows smoother every day, feels like a chance to renew just as fast as the waves turnover. Every grain of sand. Life isn't supposed to be chaotic, it's not meant to drain you bring you out until all that's left is flesh and bones. You are supposed to live as the waves crash onto the shore of Huntington's beach, I am completely alone and I am okay. I didn't die of loneliness or heartbreak. I survived. I wish I could tell my younger self that it would end up like this Could have saved a lot of pain and tears. I would tell my 16 year old self to let the boys ignore you. You don't need their validation to know your worth. I would tell my 20 year old self that just because a love once was great doesn't mean you have to stay. And I would tell my 22 year old self the one from just a year ago to run to run like the wind and feel the Earth beneath her feet. You are freer now than you will ever be. But today, The woman sitting on the lifeguard stand, 3000 miles from where I thought was home. I'm telling her to just be to live and don't look back. Love yourself fall for others. Probably get hurt along the way. But keep looking forward and moving forward. It's time to live. Little did I know that a few weeks later, I would start sessions with a new therapist and learn about something that would change my life for ever the Amygdala but more on that after this short break. While I rejected exercise for the majority of my life, I have come to terms with the fact that when I get a workout in, I actually feel so much better and I have pure bar Washington to think for that with a focus on low impact small movements that strengthen and tone your entire body in 15 minutes or less. Pure bar is a total body workout that transforms you physically and mentally, luckily for all you listeners, pure bar Washington with locations in Green Lake and University is giving you 20% off your first month of an unlimited membership. Just mention my name when you sign up, I can't wait to see you there while my anxiety manifests itself through my uh oh feeling for others, it might look different, nail biting, hair pulling, shaking leg syndrome, you name it. This is because of something in our brains called the amygdala, basically just a series of cells that are primarily responsible for processing emotions and memories associated with fear, A. K. A. Your fight or flight response. I like to imagine that my amygdala looks like the control room in the movie inside out. Not totally relevant but still important when your amygdala is triggered. Whether it's by anxiety, fear or worry, your sympathetic nervous system gets activated. This is the system that controls your breathing and heart rate which then can lead to a release of stress hormones such as adrenaline cortisol. Both things that can make an anxious person even more anxious. For people who are neurotic pickle meaning they have brain functions or behavior that is considered standard or typical. The amygdala is what keeps them safe and out of danger or injury. But when you have anxiety, sometimes your amygdala becomes the enemy. Okay fine. Not the enemy, but it does like to play the role of the boy who cried wolf. But luckily there's a way to hack the system being mindful of your state of mind. There are three states of mind that we need to know about as humans. Three states are reasonable, emotional and wise and your amygdala exists to keep you on your toes as you move throughout these different mindsets, no matter who you are, everyone possesses each of these three states, but people do gravitate towards one most of the time. I personally had a deep attachment to the emotional mind which is when a feeling controls a person's thoughts or behavior, it's in this state of mind where one might act impulsively with little regard for consequences, especially if you have a super active amygdala that is constantly telling you you're in danger, yep, yep, sounds like me. For someone with an overactive amygdala, it's normal to be in the state of mind pretty much all the time. The reasonable mind on the other hand is used when someone approaches a situation intellectually usually making plans or decisions based on facts rather than feelings. And nestled between the two is the most important and powerful of the minds and also the hardest to activate. Its called the wise mind, referring to the balance between both the emotion and reasonable haves. It is in this state of mind where a person can recognize and respect their feelings while responding to them in a logical or rational matter. But I know it's easier said than done as a kid. I was constantly acting from the emotional state of mind, whether it was because of my uh oh feeling or another trigger. I would respond and react based on my emotions frankly I didn't even know another mindset existed and it got me in trouble many many times. Here's an example when I was in high school, I studied abroad in Israel for four months during my junior year. During that time I fell in love with a guy named Adam and we were together for the entire trip. Eventually we had to leave and go back to our respective states, mine in new york and his in California and as soon as I boarded the plane alone back to Rochester. Myo feeling was blaring like a rude fire trick at two a.m. On a quiet street while I couldn't articulate this at the time I was so terrified of being alone and abandoned. Something that is very common for people with borderline personality disorder that I had forgotten about what the facts were when I didn't immediately get a dozen texts from him upon my arrival, I came to the conclusion that he didn't love me and that the entire four months was a lie. Most definitely not the most logical of conclusions. A few days later when I still hadn't heard from him, I spiraled even further guys. I send So many texts and I probably called like every 10 minutes. I'm not gonna lie. It would not be the first or the last time that I triple texted, he had to be cheating. He had to be, he was ignoring me that much I knew and that meant that he had moved on and he didn't want me anymore and I was horrible and I was no good and I would never be loved and oh my God, you see how the spiral goes. So I had to get his attention. I needed to know why he was ignoring me. What had I done wrong? Why didn't he want me? So after a ****** brow wax left me scabbed and bruised, I kind of texted him a picture of my face and told him I got hit by a car. Yeah, Lindsay Lohan and confessions of a teenage drama Green has got nothing on me. I'm not saying this because I'm proud of it. Eventually he called me and he told me that his american sim card wasn't working for a few days and he had to get a new one. Few relief. He still did love me. He just needed to fix his phone. Looking back at my old journal entries, I knew my behavior wasn't quite appropriate, but I still couldn't ignore the crushing feeling in my gut that I wasn't worthy of love, whether it be adam or someone else. Well that's called shame and it sucks. So if you see yourself in anything, I just talked about, don't worry, there's still hope for you. And it comes back to what we were just talking about in the form of the emotional mind and the wise mind. And in my case, it was my emotional mind that was reacting when I told him I got hit by a car even though I most certainly did not. If only I had this podcast to listen to back then, but it's okay. I eventually figured it out within a few months of going to therapy and learning about all of these new awesome skills, including the wise mind. I slowly began to learn how to understand my emotions and how to see them instead of reacting to them and how to keep them close to me, but not let them drag me down with them. And in turn, I slowly began to learn how to love myself and thrive, not just live with my mental illness, which is what brings me here today. Three years since declaring my next chapter as I sit in my Seattle apartment, newly married to the love of my life with three cats sitting around me for the first time. I'm not leaning on other people for happiness and joy and it's all because of the skills tools and experiences, like the ones I shared with you just a few moments ago that I have gone through to rewire my brain and change the way I speak to myself, and it all goes back to the wise mind while I'm still very much a work in progress, instead of searching for the solution elsewhere, I know that it's all within me and I have a responsibility to share this knowledge with others. Thank you for listening to this episode and be sure to tune in to a new episode every two weeks on sunday, this podcast is free to listen to and available in any app that supports podcasts. If you enjoyed the show, please subscribe and rate and review wherever you are listening. Don't forget to take your meds. Mhm